Retail Hell Underground

Returns + Bullshit = Retail Hell

From RHU Contributor Tina:

What the fuck is it with these bastards?

Just couple of cases from last week,enjoy...

I bought a bike three years ago, I want to return it. My boss actually laughed in the guys face. The stupid ass had a protection plan, and felt entitled. The extra protection expired two years ago,dumbass.

Lady has a two hundred dollar carseat, she bought from our online store.....in January.....January, what the fucking shit is that, crazy bitch started yelling at me "you mean your not gonna return this,I have a receipt"...she left with my name, my bosses name, my DMs name and 1800fuckyou, because they will not return it for you either!!!

Guy buys bottles and nipples, has alot of coupons, a lot, for a 120 dollars worth of lil spawn feeding supplies, he paid ....$8.04....I said he had a lot of coupons, in turn he paid .83 per bottle. He wants full price for the return, he also left with 1800fuckyou, my name, my bosses name, and my DMs name, why, why do these stupid fucks always have to have our names, then ask for last names also???

Yes, I have the power to override a return. I am a manager, that's why I get all the bullshit calls to the service desk. But they always try to make me feel beneath them because they are all better than me since they spend so much money in my store. Well 1-800-FUCK-YOU!!!

Thanks for letting me vent

Tina
Retail Slut

Summer Sale Hell

There's nothing worse that breeding sale t-shirts.

Mummy Mannequins in July

Thank you Diesel in West Hollywood, CA.
Nothing says sale like a dead mannequin.
Even they don't want to wear the shit that didn't sell at regular price.
 

Dumbass Customer Encounter at Photo Lab

Some of the worst Retail Hell ever can go down in the photo department. Dumbass Customers Everywhere. Here's a story from Tony in North Carolina:

For those of you that don't remember, I sent in a rant a while back about a dumb ass customer in a Waffle House style restaurant arguing over our late-night pre-pay policy. Well, this story is about my wife who works in the photo lab at a major retail chain. Aside from getting the usual stupid questions from customers ("Do you know anything about cameras?", despite the fact that her name badge clearly says "PHOTO TECH"), she had this memorable run-in with a dumb ass customer.

Now as I'm sure most of you know, in the photo lab of any department store, all the cameras that are on display are just that... display models. They don't actually work, and never will because they are just there so that customers can see the actual product and read about all the features that the cameras have.

Anyway, it's about fifteen minutes till close and she's working on cleaning the lab up and getting ready to shut everything down. The customer has been looking over the display cameras. He tries turning one of them on, and when it doesn't work he turns his attention to my wife.

Mr. Moron: Excuse me, is there anyway you could turn this camera on for me?
My wife: I'm sorry sir, that's just a display model, there's no way for me to put a battery in it.
Mr. Moron: So there's no way you can get power to it?

To save you all time I want you to imagine variations of that conversation going on for the next five minutes. So Mr. Moron changes tactics. He notices the cameras that they actually have in stock, in their boxes in the LOCKED DISPLAY CASE!

Mr. Moron: Can you put one of the batteries from that camera (indicates the camera in the display case) in here.
My wife: I'm sorry sir, that's against company policy, and even if I could, it would take two hours for the battery to fully charge.
Mr. Moron: It takes two hours?
My wife: Yes sir, the battery needs to be charged for two hours before you can use the camera.
Mr. Moron: So there's no way you can get power to it?

See where this is going?

So five minutes before she can close up and come home, Mr. Moron suddenly remembers something.

Mr. Moron: Well there is a 30 day return policy if I don't like it, right? Okay, I'll take it.

I don't know if he kept the camera or not (or even if he was smart enough to figure out how to use the damn thing), but I was amazed that after asking my wife fifty times "So there's no way you can get power to it?" that she didn't strangle the dumb shit.

Customer Reject

A Customer Reject landing in a place of irony. Pic taken by G, who writes: "Doctors everywhere finally understand why the number of infants that are being placed in rehabilitation center this year have more than tripled."

Shopping Carts Trying To Escape

Damn those cement curbs!

Sadomsochism and Retail

RHU Blogger Spritzy has conducted a study she'd like to share:

The Correlations Between Sadomasochism and
Working in Retail

In a three year investigation conducted by our researchers, select test subjects that are classified as “Employees” submitted themselves to various scenarios common in the work environment typically referred to as “retail.” Results show that a tendency towards sadomasochistic behaviors, whether latent or active, are found in at least 85% of all test subjects.

Sadomasochism is defined as the collective group of sadism and masochism, sadism being the gratification in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon another person and masochism being the gratification from receiving the infliction of pain or humiliation.

These sadomasochistic behaviors are the common reaction to unreasonable, over-demanding, or childish actions of the catalyst to the "Retail" environment known in the field as "Customers." Customers, while often dreaded and avoided, are unfortunately a required element in the retail environment. Without these "Customers" the retail environment would collapse from a lack of "Sales." Sales are the purpose for the customer's frequency in habitation of the retail environment and are simultaneously a primary cause for their displeasure and annoyance, creating a "Negative Customer Reaction" or NCR. The study found that many of the NCR's were due to the customers own ignorance or arrogance yet was deflected upon the employees as being the fault of a employee most often having no control or interaction with the sale.

These customers will, on rare occasion, fail to cause a sadomasochistic reaction in a employee. These positive customer interactions (PCR's) are hailed as a beacon of light in a dark, endless tunnel. These rare encounters are coveted by the employees yet are usually overshadowed by the more common NCR.In many cases a employee considered an encounter with a customer that resulted in a neutral reaction warranted cause to log it as a PCR. Therefore the study found that the only qualification of a PCR was the lack of a NCR. In most circumstances any interaction between a employee and a customer logged as a NCR and resulted in some level of sadomasochistic behavior on behalf of the employee. These reactions ranged between an apparent appreciation for the NCR in an effort to encourage the customers return, a condition known as "The Customer is Always Right" (a masochistic reaction). And unbridled abuse of the customer with the intent to cause the customer to realize their error in calculation or as revenge towards the customer for unnecessary behavior (a sadistic reaction). While both sadistic and masochistic tendencies were found in the test subjects, a far greater group more frequently subjected themselves towards the masochistic acts than sadistic.

In the lesser category of the sadistic tendencies, these actions were frequently carried out in a secretive manner, so as to ensure the victim of the sadistic act, the customer, would remain unaware. To make known to the customer that a sadistic action had been taken out on them would most likely result in a encounter between the employee and superior sadist known as "Management." Although the behavior of the management is often seen as that of a superior sadist, and avoided by the employees, their actions are frequently disregarded and often mocked by the employees once the management has left the area. The study revealed that the superior level of sadism found in management was frequently disillusioned by the management and customers and had no bearing on reality. In several of the study encounters the employee, thought of as the inferior subject, knew as much or sometimes more than the management. This knowledge was frequently discredited by both customer and management simply on the basis of perceived superiority. Information received by the customer would more likely be deemed credible if given by a subject in a management position rather than a employee position even if the same information was provided to the customer by both subjects.

Masochistic tendencies are far more prevalent in the retail field and are nearly a requirement for any employee intending to remain in the study for any extended length of time. Many of the employees did not openly admit to their masochistic preferences, stating that such behavior was unfavorable and was therefor determined to be a latent trait in the test subject. The latent trait appeared to be far more common and became more noticeable as the test subjects repeatedly submitted themselves to negative customer behavior yet willingly remained in the case study. The study submitted the employees to increasingly higher levels of abuse by the customer, starting with a minimal NCR over a misunderstanding of a sale, "Project Iwannitfree" and escalating to the ultimate NCR simply known to this study as "Hazmat in the Fitting Room."

It was the intention of the case study conductors to preform a full five year study on the sadomasochistic effects on the employee test subjects. However, after a significant percentage of test subjects were subsequently admitted to various mental health facilities the study was prematurely terminated for the safety and well being of the remaining subjects. Strangely many of the remaining subjects chose to remain in the case study well past it's run time, reinforcing the conclusion of a strong sadomasochistic tendency in employees submitted to the retail environment.

Law Enforcement Retail Hell

Badass store sign. On the streets of NYC.