The Annual Black Friday/ Generic Holiday Season Shopping open letter to retail customers.
Yes, it is nearly that time of year again, where you come running into our stores to drop a bunch of money on items for friends, family, co-workers and neighbors for the holidays. Seeing as nearly a year has passed since we last communicated, let me refresh you on some things, and bring up some new points:
Yes, we are one of those retailers opening at a stupid ass hour on Black Thursday. You may be super excited about it, but rest assured, we employees are not. Some of us are coming in two hours prior to open, to get last minute shit ready. Yes, we have to cut Thanksgiving dinner with our families short because for some of us, that's 4pm. As in we haven't even digested what little bit of turkey dinner we were able to inhale before having to go take a nap for our 9+ hour shift.
Oh, you didn't take a nap, and have been standing in line all day? Well, fuck off, because YOU get to go home and go to bed at a reasonable hour. I still have to be here after you leave the store.
I have lost count over the years of how many people complain about how unfair it is that they've been waiting in line, and then you come waltzing up with two carts overflowing, and cut in front of them because "Oh, she was saving my spot." I hate not being able to tell you to get your sorry ass to the back of the line.
Speaking of the line, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, IT'S FUCKING BLACK FRIDAY. What the hell did you expect, to have the whole damn store to yourself?! I have fourteen registers running, fourteen people in JUST to bag your stuff, NONE of my registers are ever unmanned, I've got people in to cover breaks. We're going as fast as humanly possible.
Yes, the store is trashed. Again, it's BLACK THURSDAY (or any random weekend before Christmas). If YOU guys wouldn't make such a mess, we would be able to recover much more efficiently.
Don't yell at my cashiers. For any reason. Especially if you're too lazy to read a sign in it's entirety. It's not their fault that you picked up a king sized sheet set, expecting it to be $9.99, when that price is in actuality for the TWIN size, but since that price is in a larger font then the rest, you just assume that's the price for all of the sheets. My cashiers are anything but lazy.
For the love of all that is good and covered in chocolate, DO NOT leave your cart unattended for more than five minutes. If we find it, we will watch it for a few minutes. If no one comes to claim it in that time, we will think it abandoned, and re-shop everything that is in there. If you come back thirty minutes later and it's gone, don't come screaming to me. It's your own fault.
Boxes. We hand out boxes as a courtesy. You get one per clothing item you are buying, IF you ask. Don't be greedy and ask for ten boxes for stuff you have at home. Don't be greedy and ask for boxes if you are buying a vacuum cleaner or a Barbie car. We are allotted only so many cases of boxes. Once they're gone, it's a hassle trying to get more before the end of December.
Closing times. Please respect them. Don't continue to shop after you hear the closing announcement. It's rude and selfish. In conjunction, don't pick out over $1,000 worth of merchandise, and wait until we close to cash out. You might think that's perfectly acceptable, but most of my cashiers are either collage students, or people who have a full time day job. They're exhausted by the time we close, and you keeping them past the end of their shift is selfish.
In order to save time at the register, have all of your coupons and/or methods of payment ready. I don't want to stand around waiting for you to dig through your purse for your coupon or credit card. Paying by check? Start filling it out while you're waiting in line. Have your drivers license ready. Those actions will save SO much time at the registers.
If, while in line, you decide against an item you have picked out, don't just dump it anywhere. Wait until you get to the cashier, and hand it over, politely saying you've changed your mind. Don't throw it at them.
If you need to get my attention, please do so politely. A simple "Excuse me" or "Pardon me" not only gets my attention better, it's also courteous, respectful, and shows you have nice manners. A "Thank you" is also appreciated.
Please do not have your cell phone glued to your ear while at the register. If you insist on talking on it, don't get all pissy when we wait to ask you a question. At least *we* are polite, and won't interrupt your big important phone call.
If you are returning something to a store, please don't throw the bag of merchandise on the counter, and expect the associate to take the stuff out. It's rude. Also, please have your receipt or credit card ready. We hate having to wait for you to dig it out of your purse/pocket/wallet (psst, so do the other people waiting behind you!)
That $300 camera that is on doorbuster pricing of $29.99? Expect that it will be sold out in minutes after we unlock the doors, no matter how many we have in stock. Don't get all bitchy that we're out of them at 10 pm when you decided to bring your happy self to the store. We opened at 6pm. And no, no rainchecks. And also no, I will not be substituting the $500 camera for the same price. I *may* possibly give you the same discount percentage though.
Please remember. We will be working ourselves to the ground between now and the first of the year. While that will not be an excuse for any unprofessional attitude or actions you may feel you have encountered, we're only human, and can burn out.
We have NOTHING to do with the pricing/inventory levels/policies. We just follow orders. You have a problem with it? Take it up with corporate, and enjoy the gift card you'll inevitably get because you complained.
Some of these points are also encouraged all year long. I may have missed a few, but a little common courtesy, a little respect and a little common sense will go a long way to making your holiday shopping much more pleasant. Not to mention the state of our mental health.
The Retail Employees