4th of July in Retail Hell Sucks Stars and Stripes
The Fourth of July is upon us. Right around the fucking
corner. And who will be working it? Me. You. EVERYONE OF
The biggest thing I hate about retail is working holidays.
You know, I didn’t really mind it when I first started almost 7 years ago.
Because I was young. And dumb. And full of fucking cum. I got some time and a
half, or double time, and holiday pay, etc. etc. But now it seems as I’m
getting older I’d like to have the fucking holidays to myself and my loved
ones. Fuck holiday pay. Fuck time and a half. Just makes it so Uncle Sam can
rape you harder in the ass. That’s all. Especially if you’re getting paid
bi-weekly. They rape you so hard!
I have worked every fucking holiday for the past 7 years. I was the one to ALWAYS get nominated to work the shitty holiday shifts. Like “Oh, she doesn’t have anything better to do. She’s a loser. Let’s make HER work.” Bah. Fuck you all. Did I mention managers BLOW stinky monkey cock?
So of course, my other half is getting THURSDAY-SUNDAY off
at his job. Of course. Thursday to fucking Sunday. That’s insanely sweet! That’s
how factories are. They fucking give their people
I love to chill and grill too dammit. I want to dance naked
with my sparklers and piss of the neighbors. I want to get completely annihilated
and puke horrendous chunks in my yard. On the neighbors car. Etc. etc. I want
to smoke cigs until my lungs explode. Yes. Oh yes. But I will not be able to.
Fuck you retail giants for being open on holidays. And Sundays. (Once again. A
whole other rant there!)
And all those fucking people I will see this weekend will
make me even pissier. Because you KNOW that they could be spending time with
their families and not driving their fucking gas guzzling Hummers and SUVs all
the way out here to
And you know.. the sales really aren’t THAT great either.
They never are. They just make so much fucking hype about them that people say
“Oooh. Look at that 30%-50% off select merchandise. I must go! Oooh. Up to 70%
off.” Ahh shut the fuck up. There’s ALWAYS an “UP TO” sale going on. Even on
non-holidays you fucking imbeciles. And that 70% off will be one fucking
rolling rack. Or one measly wall. Customers are getting swindled left and right.
They’re so easy.
We happen to have a shitty holiday sale at work. And I’m glad too. I hope people bitch about it and fucking LEAVE! Bwahahaha. We had better sales on the non-holiday days then on holidays. Stupid fuckers don’t know any better!
So for all you Retail Slaves working this weekend. I salute you.
If you get a chance, take a few shots of Tequila for me PLEASE. Worm and all.
Happy Fucking Holidays,
Regan.






























































