Hey There Sale Slaves...
I am so over all the fucking Sale's bullshit questions and crazy bitches! I am over the whining, begging, griping, and retardation of almost all the customers!
There
is a sign that says the shit is on SALE and underneath that SALE sign is the sale merchandise!! Why is that so fucking difficult for them? And why then do they proceed to take fucking items from another part of the store and put them on the sale shelf and then bitch at me when I tell them IT'S NOT ON FUCKING SALE!. If it's not marked it's not on FUCKING SALE! These sale bitches make me want to whip out my hammer and breaks some fucking fingers!
What the hell is wrong with all these Discount Rat Douchebags!!! I cannot mark the shit down for you no matter what you ask or offer and if you are rude to me I might just have to drop kick you in the Mother Fucking Face!!!!!!
A lot of Sale shoppers are so dumb and predictable I can see them coming from a mile away with their stupid ass questions:
Q. What time do you close?
A. After I beat you to death with my hammer.
Q. When is the Sale over?
A. When they find Osama Bin Laden you stupid fucking bitch.
Q. Is this on sale?
A. No you fucking Idiot! Ask me again and I'm gonna knock your teeth out with my fucking hammer!!!
Q.Will this get marked down more?
A. Yes, but I'm going to make sure I sell it to someone else just so it won't be here when it does get the big Red Axe. How do you like that, you Discount Rat Fucker.
Q. Where are the sale shoes?
A. On the left table where the gigantic red sign says SALE SHOES you dumb-shit, get your ass to Sylvan and learn how to fucking read!
Q.What about these over here on this table to the right? Are they on sale?
A. Fuck me up the ass with out lube! WTF!!!! You can't read and now you don't know the difference between your left and right? Go back to fucking preschool you retard. The ones on the LEFT asshole!
Q. Is it returnable even though it's on sale?
A. I can't believe you're stupid enough to ask me that? Of course it's returnable moron, but if you don't like it, don't fucking buy it and save us both the fucking headache.
Q. Are you sure you don't have any more sale jeans in the back?
A. If I had more sale jeans I would have pulled them directly out of my ass like David Copperfield. I do work on commission Fuckhead!
Q. Why can't you special order me this $19.99 sale tee?
A. Because the children in Singapore have moved on to sweaters.
Q. What's the sale price on this?
A. Thirty beatings with my FUCKING BLOODY HAMMER!
Well ,Retail Slaves, many of us still have a little longer till this sale shitty season is over. Until then I will continue screaming at dumb ass mother fuckers and threatening them with hammertime!
I think what would really help is if Stupid Fucking Customers would think before they speak! But we all know that will never happen. For many going shopping at sale is an excuse to leave your brain at home.
I'm fucking wiped out, pissed off, and over this goddamn sale shit! I need to take my paid vacation and get the hell away from beeping registers and track lighting before you see my fucking face on the news.
But until my island vacation comes, I will be surviving Sale Retail Hell the only way I can: by numbing myself with lots of beer and hard liquor, trying to get the words out of my head..."Is this on sale?"
Carolanne can I send my crazy sale shoppers to you?
Posted by: Freddy | June 10, 2008 at 12:21 AM
Um, Is this Frigate on sale? What? Why are you gazing at me like that with a hammer in your hand?
Posted by: Tar-Jay | June 11, 2008 at 10:36 AM
OMG I know. They ask the dumbest questions. The worst "When is the sale over".
Yeah. Every fucking store is different. Usually in the one store I work at it changes like every Thursday morning. The other, they can change ANY fucking time. We get a phone call saying "hey, stop this or start this" lol. Yanno. It's the STUPIDEST question to ask. Ever. Along w/ "when do you close". Well fucking duh. Usually malls close 9 or 9:30. Yes?
Posted by: Regan | June 11, 2008 at 04:44 PM
PLEASE HAMMER DON'T HURT EM
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Со слов сисадмина:
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