Retail Hell with Mr. and Mrs. Asshole

Hello motherfuckers! How are you all doing. I had something happen this week that really fucking pissed me off!

It was Friday afternoon and I was really busy and by myself and this impatient asshole comes in looking for a gift for his wife.

He yells,"Are you the only one here? Can't someone help me?"

Sure you fucking asshole let me pull my twin out of my asshole to help you! Wait your fucking turn!

So when I got to him a few minutes later, I went around the whole boutique with him searching for the perfect gift for his bitch. He finally picks out a Dolce and Gabbana $2,300 dress and hands me his card. It's declined.

Then the fucker asks ME to call his credit company to find out what the problem is (HE is my fucking problem).

The credit company tells me he can only spend $1,000. So another 40 minutes is spent picking out a bullshit gift. The impatient asshole leaves and I prayed to the Retail Gods I would never see him again.

Sunday morning comes and I'm still drunk from the night before and here comes Mr. Impatient Asshole and his bitch storming through the doors.

"We want to return this!"

Would you like to exchange it for something else maybe another dress for a thousand dollars? Mr. Asshole responds no and tells me to just put it back on his card.

Fucking douche. I'm going to loose commission! Pick something else out fucktards!

So they look around for another hour and pick out two things with a total of $3,000. Mr Asshole hands me the same card that did not go through the first time. And guess what? The fuckin card did not go through again. I wanted to punch him in the face!

So I call the credit card company again they said the same thing. Finally they decide to buy one dress for $800. Better than nothing I figure. As he's walking out the door, he says I hope we haven't been too much trouble with a grin out of his asshole shaped mouth.  

No trouble at all, you fucking douche bag! 

Later on as I'm getting ready to clock out and go drown my awful day with my good friends Jack Daniel and Jim Beam, here come Mr and Mrs Asshole again. WTF? I wanted to scream!

"We saw a lady with a sale $200 pink Versace dress and we want that one."

I let them know I had one in the back in black, I ran to the stockroom cursing all the way there and back hoping they were going to add this one to there other bag with the other dress and she was going to pull out another credit card with credit on it.

Mrs. Asshole says I'll take the sale dress and then Mr. Asshole hands me back the oth dress in which I had worked soooooo fucking hard to sell them and says we will just take the black one it's cheaper anyway.

Are you fucking kidding me? All of that for a $200 SALE Versace dress!

Then Mr. Asshole asked to me if I could hurry because they were late for some bullshitty dinner because they decided to came back to exchange. We'll excuse the fuck out of me!

So not only was he an impatient asshole but he was a fucking cheap ass impatient asshole!!!!!! I ended up leaving negative for the day.

To all you men and woman shoppers out there: Make up your fucking minds and stop wasting my fucking time with your bullshit. I work on commission!

And to Mr & Mrs Cheap Impatient Assholes: FUCK YOU!

 

Comments

[Regan]

Yeah..like it's YOU who is making them LATE for their hoity toity dinner lol.
People are stupid.
And I LOVE how they look at you when their card is declined like WHAAAAAAAT? HOW COULD YOU? Lol

I'd really be more interested in what you say if yu had big tits.

[Carolanne]

I have HUGE tits? Is your ass interested now mother fucker????

[surrido]

You should have had her try on the $200 dress and said, "Are you sure you want that one? It makes you look FAT!"