Seeing as RHU's current theme seems to be stupid customer questions I thought I'd toss in my own conglomeration from the grocery store checkout.
No! No, I'm not open! I'm just standing here blocking the OBVIOUSLY OPEN checkout lane in a last minute attempt to divert your attention to this great display of half price low fat yogurt bars so we can wheedle another $1.87 out of your raggedy pocket.
Along with this inane question come the self appointed funny guys who like to shake it up with "Are you waiting there just for me?" or "How about I give you some work to do!?" and the always classic "Lemme guess, you don't have anyone in your line?"
Gads, it makes ya wanna bust an embolism!
But more often than not, being in the confines of my retail slavery, I'm completely miserable. And too taunted with a false opportunity to bawl out all my misery and pain every five minutes is maddening. It's like dangling a basted puppy biscuit in front of a pit bull and then swiping it away, sooner or later you's gonna get bit. "I'm not fine or great and you certainly AREN'T a big lovable palooka and quite honestly I'd rather have a broken fibula and a dislocated shoulder during a codeine shortage than be here scanning your canned potted meat byproducts."
And we all enjoy the customers who stare intently at the register screen blurting out "Did that ring up on sale?!?!" after every item. and then ask "What's my total!?!" after we've scanned only six of their 942 items.
"I'm sorry but my sub-cranial implant that downloads an all comprehensive knowledge of every aspect of this corporation since the beginning of time has been recalled on account of too many accidental lobotomies. The ones who didn't exanguiate through their eyes were all promoted to managerial staff due to their newly obtained qualifications and would be glad to help you at the courtesy desk."