Regan did a little "Retail" research on our favorite website Urban Dictionary, and this is what she found:
Words we all know....but may not know the TRUE definition of...
Retail:
One of the shittiest profession...One that causes much depression, psychosis, anger, jealousy, frustration, and anxiety. It is extremely degrading. They never pay people what they are work; the workers have to deal with a bunch of crap while getting paid peanuts.
UD examples:
I had to go to therapy after working in retail for a decade.
People treat me like I'm stupid because I work in retail.
I work at a retail job where people don't get raises, but instead there's a shitty "Employee of the Month" reward.
I work in retail; therefore, I cannot afford to pay back my student loans or take nice vacations.
Regan's example: Yes, I work in retail...Shut the fuck up.
Customer:
An incredibly stupid person. Therese people are often found in department and grocery stores and show no signs of common sense. Many times they can be rude, cruel, and obnoxious.
UD example: This store has too many horrible customers ruining our job.
Regan's example: Freddy...can you go tell that customer that our waste baskets are not for pissing in? Thanks a bunch.
Shopping:
Going to a large chain store (Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, ect...) and filling a cart with as much crap as possible, only to abandon it somewhere in the store.
UD example: Hey dude! I went shopping at Wal-Mart today. Somebody's gonna be doin their job today.
Regan's example: Hey, let's go grocery shopping, they don't mind finding random shit on shelves and having to sort through it all at the end of the day.
Manager:
A sadistic prick who suffers from the delusion that they are a "businessman" or "business woman" with a busy career when in reality they are just another back liner who got promoted via strategic ass-kissing. Loves to treat everyone below them like crap, then complains to their friends that their busy "career" is just so stressful.
UD example: Me: *works ass off in 120 degree heat in kitchen*
Manager You're gonna have to fill in for the deep fryer today. Do u know how to do it?
Me: no I-
Manager: WHY THE HELL NOT??????? ROAR ROAR ROAR ROAR!!!!
Regan's example: I'm just an employee...ya know, no biggie...I only do all the work so that my manager can get all the fucking credit.
Employee:
A slave with a paycheck.
UD example: I am an employee of my boss.
Regan's example: I'm just an employee...ya know, no biggie...I only do all the work so that my manager can get all the fucking credit. (yes, I repeated it on purpose)
Associate:
What a company call their cheap-labored employees to make them feel like they are important when in fact they don't mean shit to them because they have no power at all.
UD example: I can' believe that the largest company in the world still calls their $7 slaves "associates"...like they have something to do with the company's management.
Regan's example: We just hired a new associate. Now we have someone to give the bitch work to. Sweet.
Return:
An act of taking merchandise usually stolen back to the store it came from in exchange for a gift card.
UD example: You can only do so many returns in a sixty day period at Wal-Mart on the same driver license number. Go get a state ID card and were back in business.
Regan's example: Yes, I'd like to return Wii, and all these fantastic games with it. No, I don't have the receipt. My chinchilla ate it.
Shoplifter:
Winona Ryder.
UD example:UD example: Since the young man was caught Winona Rydering, he was banned from the store.
Regan's example: That smelly old skany fat bitch tried pulling a Wynona on me today!
Retail Therapy:
Intensive shopping for nothing in paticular that can lead to large credit card bills and inevetibaly immense debt or los or property.
UD example: My girlfreind went for some retail therapy the other day because her best mate called her fat and now we have a $3,000 credit card bill and can't apy our mortgage.
Regan's example: When rich bitchy desperate housewives don't get pootang for a whole day from their pool boys they have to go for some retail therapy at Gucci and Prada and spend their husband's well earned dough.
Retail Therapy is also and awesome blog and you should all be checking it out!
One that I hadn't heart before:
Promoted to Customer
Slang amoung retail workers for being fired.
UD example: You are about to be promotoed to customer.
Regan's example: I wouldn't mind being promoted to customer. Then I could fucking trash the place too!
Last but not least...
Quit
What you really want to tell your boss.
UD example: No I don't have that report ready but I did want to tell you, I quit
Regan's example: In a Retail Hell worker's mind, quit is the sweetest word in the English vocabulary.
Now it's your turn Slaves - pick a retail word and make up your sentence in comments!