Naughty Video Store Customers

So...I'm at work.  At 10 in the morning.  I'm a closing manager, so 10 in the morning is WAY too early for me to be functional at work, and my coffee hadn't had time to kick in yet.

 

I'd just nicely unlocked the front door and was preparing for the first round of customers.  There was only one person in the store, but a few cars had just pulled up outside in our parking lot, which is completely visible from the front window of our store.  This is important, as the parking lot is where the major plot-twist of this tale takes place.

 

The phone rings.  I answer it with my usual greeting, and am greeted in return by another merchant from a different store in our shopping complex.  They inform me that they were just walking to the mailboxes, which border our parking lot. They ask me to look outside for a certain car.  Is it there?  Yes. The police are on their way.

 

As they tell me this, two police cars pull up.  Then a third.  I ask if I should be concerned, as now the few customers in my parking lot are effectively blocked in.  "No," they tell me, "There are people having sex in that car.  The cops will make sure they leave."

 

WOAH!  Who needs coffee with excitement like this!? 

 

By the time it was all over for the amorous duo in the car, there were a grand total of SIX police cars in our little parking lot.

Must've been some dangerous sexin' going on!

And ..as an added RHU bonus: My all-time strangest find out on the sales floor!

It was closing time, all the custys had gone home, and my co-worker was having a hard time getting all the returns re-stocked wo we could get the hell out of Dodge for the night. I was helping her putting back the returns from the Drama section.

Once I got to the middle of the section, I smelled something sickeningly sweet and flowery. At the same moment, I felt something go "Squish!" beneath my shoe.

I am smart enough after four years to have a healthy fear of what I may find on the sales floor at any given time. Looking down, sheer terror bubbling up in the pit of my stomach, I discovered a white substance spread the clear length of the carpeting all the way down the section in giant streaky clumps as though someone had danced through it.

At the end of the row of movies, placed on a shelf was a completely empty and abandoned tube of Secret Deodorant. It took my coworker and I and extra half an hour or more to scrub it out of the carpeting.

And, although I was irritated with whomever had done such a ridiculously stupid thing, I also learned something that night.

Secret is strong enough for a man, but made for a video store.

DV-Diva

Comments

[Burger Bitch]

Kso.
A. The last line made my morning.

B. Six police cars? SIX?
In my town, we barely have three for a drug bust.
That's extra hilarious and win.

[Jit]

I think the police needed the get-go in the morning too...

[DV-Diva]

They just kept coming!

Er...the cops, that is...

*Backs slowly away from the keyboard*

[Hooch]

Working in a video store, my strangest find was an anal plug. It was mixed in with the video game accessories.

[Megan]

Did it take six police officers to pry them apart?

[ScottyRS]

those cops could have done something really useful, like busting stoners