Comebacks For Dumb Customer Questions

Hello again Walmarts-b**** here with my personal comebacks for dumba*** questions.

#1- Do you work here?--

The level of stupid here vary upon what I am doing, If I am zoning i can possibly see why they say this since I could just be shopping dressed in the same colors as the store.

HOWEVER if I am pulling pallets or pallet jacks, my name badge is clearly visible WHY do you ask me?

My replies are usually the polite ones that policy says I must use but I always want to say-nah I'm just pulling this heavy-a** pallet for my health.

Or no it looked like fun so I stole a pallet jack to try it out.

Or no I just do this for my health. I mean WTF its a dumb-a** question.

#2- When custys say I've been shopping here for 6 years and you always have it!

I always want to ask how they have when the store has only been here for 4 years, but I tend to think that they are in an alternative world most of the time.

#3- Don't tell my kid(s) what to do!

You know I only tell other peoples kids what to do when they are doing something HIGHLY dangerous such as trying to jump onto my pallet.

I like to tell them to either pay attention to their brats and teach them manners or at least put a goddamn lease on them. How about when your brat gets hurt I just start laughing hysterically and say I told you so? 

Anyways fellow retail slaves I'm going to go to bed and pray I don't kill anyone tomorrow.

Walmarts-B****

Comments

[N/A]

I was just talking to some former coworkers today about stupid customers. One of them mentioned she was turning 30 soon and I said I thought she was younger; I'm 30 and I always thought she was like 4 or 5 years younger than me. Apparently she thought I was younger than her too so we had a good laugh about our youthful good looks and talked about the dumbass comments we've had from customers over the years. I told her about one time when I was pregnant and a customer just stared at me, glared at my obvious baby bump, stared back at me and asked "are you planning on finishing school once the baby comes?" in the totally snooty tone. I smiled sweetly and replied "well I might go back and get my PhD someday but I'm fine with just my masters for now." Is there anything sweeter than a moron custy who gives you an open to legitimately call them an idiot to their face?

[Kiryu]

I've worked the registers, so I didn't really have some of those dumb questions. The questions I always got were more concerning where items are located in the store specifically and if I could stop what I was doing and go look for them.

It's not like cashiers actually get to see much of the store beyond the register...

[Ashley]

oh man, I could write my own book about all the things I experience at that horrid place

[Logan]

Working fast food I occasionally got the following.
"What do you have?" Silently point to the big giant menu above my head.
I also used to work lot security. We were located right near a busy section and near all the bars, so people liked to park their cars there, filling up the lot, so there was no place for actual customers to park. We used to always get the response: "I eat here all the time!". Oh you're on of the billions that are mentioned on the sigh. I got news for you, everyone eats here all the time, that's why we need the parking spaces for them.

[Anne]

As a cashier, my least favorite question is

"Are you open?"

It doesn't matter if I'm standing at my till with the light on or "standing the line" in front of my till waiting for a customer, they still ask the same STUPID question.

I wonder what they'd do if I actually said no...

[Annabelle]

also, why do they think you're being lazy when you sit down (like THEY do when it suits them)

[Evelyn]

I had a customer a couple weeks ago come up to my register about a dress problem. The dress had a minor zipper snag, and she asked if I could call another store in the area for it. With the phone being right behind me, I was happy to make a call at that moment. However, the lady stopped me right away and told me she would give me her name and number, and I could call her if they had it. I asked her multiple times if she was sure about not calling while she was standing at my register, and I even offered to give a paper with numbers of other stores. She refused, again, saying she would rather have us do it, and I obliged to her odd request since I logically assumed she was in a hurry. She left my register, and I set the sticky note with her name and number with the dress and moved it off to the side so I could take care of a line of other customers waiting to be checked out. Once, the line was cleared I called some stores around the area, and none had the dress for the lady. I thought nothing of until a couple days when the same lady had the nerve to call my managers and say I was rude for not calling right away. Apparently, she stood off to the side and proceeded to watch me for a while. She threw a hissy fit because I didn't drop everything I was doing and call other stores right as soon as she left! EVEN though I asked her multiple times if she wanted me to call now! She then became spiteful and said I was being even more rude when I explained the odd request to the head cashier. We both thought it was strange and that was it. But, our customer policy says we basically have to kiss the customer's asses and believe any bullshit she feels like making up. I have to go to a "council" meeting with my managers now and basically get punished for this lady's spite. The funny part is she called more than a week after this happened, which is oddly suspicious. She must have been bored and figured she should harass someone in order to entertain herself. The head cashier even backed me up on this, so this should be an interesting meeting with managers.