Coupon Retail Hell

From Eric:

The store at which I work accepts coupons printed off the internet, but *NOT* photocopied coupons of same, even though both may be in black and white.

So this one customer brings a few home-printed coupons in, all in color except one glaring counterexample.

 

Me: "Hmmm."

 

She: (semi-impatiently) "What's the problem with THAT coupon?"

 

Me: "I'm not sure if this one was photocopied or just printed. I'll have to get it verified from customer service."

 

She: "But it isn't a photocopy! See the other one? It has a different PIN number!"

 

At this point, she has already shattered her own logic. Leaving aside the pleonasm of "PIN number", she could have photocopied a different coupon that she didn't bring with. And I don't see how the PIN has anything to do with this-- for all I know, we take ones with identical PINs! I call up the service desk and jabber about it.

 

Service Desk Woman: "I'll need to see the coupons. Have your bagger bring them up to the desk." *CLICK*

 

Eh? What? I have a bagger? Shouldn't the SDW be hauling her admittedly ample posterior over here? This is a customer problem and should be dealt with directly.

 

So I wait a few seconds for my bagger to get back from whatever he was doing (probably practicing NOT picking his nose; he's getting good at it), during which the fail trolley's conductor blew some steam.

 

She: "I don't have all day. You have to take this coupon, if you don't, then you don't value my business, I'll just go elsewhere." (I could HEAR those were all commas. Clearly she was not a well-punctuated person.)

 

Finally the bagger returns, and is dispatched with the similar good and bad coupons. Almost immediately I get the call.

 

SDW: "Well, we will take the first one, but the second one is definitely photocopied and we can't take it."

 

Me: "Thanks." *CLICK*

 

She: "I heard that! IT'S NOT PHOTOCOPIED! THE PIN NUMBERS MATCH!"

 

Of course her entire order was nulled and void out of sheer anger and pretzel logic. However, her husband, having his own order and similar (but all in color) coupons, was rang up with silent and swift dispatch with no problem whatsoever.

 

But not before the entire register locked up. More than $10 of coupons had been removed from her order, which required an override from Service Desk Woman, who was now going to HAVE to haul ass no matter what. And she wouldn't come out at first! Three pagings were necessitated before she consented to drop by.

 

SDW: "Why won't this override work?"

 

Me: "I'm not sure; it says 'Manager's Key is Required'..."

 

SDW (snappy): "Well, did you take off all the coupons?"

 

Me: "Yes." (scrolls back through the list of items) "There they are."

 

SDW proceeds to get more belligerent and unreasonable with each attempt at turning the manager's key into the 'R' position, or whatever letter it was.

 

Me: "I had removed a couple of items before the override, could that be the problem?"

 

She: "Oh, please hurry up."

 

SDW (glares menacingly-- at ME) "We'll have to cash it out and credit the drawer." (beneath her breath) "I hope you're happy."

 

How absolutely nice of her. Somehow this is all my fault. Well, I'll just go off and kill myself, shall I? Maybe next time I'll take the bad coupons, we'll not make payroll, have to lay off the baggers not adept at not nose-picking, and, um, the orders will take longer to finish because I'll have to bag them.

 

As SDW was leaving, presumably back to her hidey-hole, our semi-unfriendly customer asked her why *I* wouldn't take the coupon. As if I hadn't explained it already. I didn't hear what SDW said in reply, but it was probably the usual "Store policy, Ma'am" or something else with an apostrophe in it like "Photocopy, Bit'ch!"

 

It was Xeroxed(tm), of course. It could have been printed in black and white, but then the watermark on the right would have been a bunch of black dots, instead of the grey-toned glaring error it was.

 

Today also had another customer in a hurry, but he brooked no nonsense with coupons; he merely growled in impatience, insolence and snatching change out of my hand. Nothing much to be concerned about; a potential road rage casualty, no more.

 

 

Eric

 

Comments

[Burger Bitch]

SDW needs a swift kick in the ass.

[Jit]

*Raises hand* Mine do, too! Include mine in that!

[Magical Shrimp]

What an incredibly lazy bitch. I mean, how DARE you expect her to do her job? And GET UP!!

[Retail Slut: Tatiana]

"(I could HEAR those were all commas. Clearly she was not a well-punctuated person.)"

I was an English major before I switched over to Psychology. You made my day!

=]