Retail Lesson Learned: Niceness Kills

In light of Retail Drone #37's recent comment about a corporate retail doctor's nonsensical bullshit post that reads like a corporate blueprint for Retail Droid Assimilation, Former Retail Slave Barista, sounds off on the subject. We all try to be nice, but some times it can be dangerous:

Lesson Learned: Niceness Kills.

I am a Retail Slave currently in recovery. I've left it behind for school, but still wake up in cold sweats from traumatic nightmares.

One nightmare is about the one man I shouldn't have been nice to. I was a barista at a cafe in a bookstore. The customers were all terrible. They were either snobbish college students who looked down their noses at me or house wives who counted the calories in the bottled water while letting their children stick absolutely anything and everything in their filthy mouths.

But still, I always tried to keep a smile one my face.

A very strange thirty-ish man came up to me to order his coffee. As I rang him up, he looked at me intently and asked, "What is your philosophy on life?"

I told him I believe in karma, like any retail employee. (Honestly, the only way I get through some shifts is by remembering that crazy bitch who returned her coffee five times is going to get hers one day.)

He continued to ask me questions about my outlook on life, to which I smiled and gave short, cheery replies. I handed him his drink and expected he would be on his way. I was wrong.

For the next ten minutes he continued to ask me really inappropriate, personal questions. I tried to evade them or give vague, non-committal replies but there wasn't much I could do. There was no other employee in the cafe (although technically no one is ever supposed to work alone) and with no other customers around, I couldn't see an escape route. Finally, I faked a call on the walkie talkie so I could run away into the back room.

Of course, that was only the beginning.

The next day, a man started calling the store trying to find out when I would be working. Managers and employees refused to give him my schedule (thank god!) but the calls persisted. He would call several times a day, sometimes more than once an hour. He would ask to speak to me and if I wasn't there he would try to find out when my next shift was. He started coming around more often, but luckily not when I was at the store. My wonderful co-workers started to worry and so every night someone would walk me to my car to make sure he wasn't lurking around.

But then he got really crazy.

He came into the cafe on a day I wasn't in the store. The barista there, M, politely informed him I was not working that day and she could not say when I would be there. He lost his shit! He started screaming at her and threw his books to the floor. He SCREAMED that they were all conspiring to hide me from him.

He knew I was there and I wanted to see him. So he JUMPED OVER THE COUNTER and ran into the back room! There he surprised another barista, L, who promptly dropped about five sandwiches on the floor when she saw the crazed man in the stock room and started screaming at the top of her lungs. Around this point, he realized I really wasn't there and took off running.

I was now really scared, but our regional manager said we couldn't ban him because he bought too much merchandise. That's right. If you buy enough of a product, you are free to harass and possibly assault employees. Luckily, my much nicer store manager had a chat with the guy the next time he came in.

A very, very forceful chat that made sure I never had to see the guy again.

But I have learned my lesson.

Be surly! Be rude! Be mean! Be nasty!

Or else be harassed by some pathetic weirdo you shouldn't have smiled at.

 

Comments

[Jit]

O_O;;;; Aaaaaauuughhh... that makes me wanna be REAL nice to people who seem like decent human beings... great... man, you went through hell and back! That reminds me of the time one of my friends got threatened by a drunk man and had loss control all up in the sitch.. jeeze though. That's complete bullshit that they "couldn't" ban him.. they VERY well could.. those lazy asses.

[atombomb1945]

"our regional manager said we couldn't ban him because he bought too much merchandise."

For all you know, the RM could have been trying to hook this guy up with you. Really, I hope not.

Unfortunately I know how you feel, and I think every Retail Slave has been hit on at some point or another. We really should have the option to MACE anyone who acts inappropriately to us in the work place.

[Jit]

Mace? What about STAB WITH A REALLY REALY SHARP OBJECT? *Eyes glisten at thought of knives*

[Spritzy]

So true...you never know what sort of whack-a-doo is lurking beneath the surface of any given person. Ya try to follow policy and be all chummy with people only to get lurched on by a up and coming Jack the Ripper.
If I had been told that a customer couldn't be banned for buying too much I would have said that the legal fees from the impending at-work assault would far beyond reach the cost of a few measly coffees.

[Joe]

Notice how it's the people not in harms' way (managers) who'll say something like, "It's only a flesh wound. Now get back out there and sell, sell, sell!"
When dealing with truly psychopathic custys, I'd leave management out of the loop and call 911.

[Magical Shrimp]

That's a completely terrifying story. It's sadly pretty common for women to be stalked at least once in their life (it's happened to me too), and having it happen in retail, where you "have to" be nice just ups the danger. Would the regional manager have been happy if something had happened to you and he/she/it ended up in jail for letting it happen? Totally inexcusable and WRONG.

[Shayla]

Ugh, so sorry you had to go through that. Once I had an obscene phone call where the caller pretended to be someone from our corporate office and proceeded to try and make me repeat a nasty phrase. We're pretty sure we know who made the call, but nothing could be done about it. I'm still leery about answering the phone.

[Retail Drone #37]

That's so disgusting. You shouldn't let that spoil how you view everyone though. That guy was probably a mere exception to otherwise polite and sane customers. You really are rolling the dice every time you interact with someone new. You never know what to expect. Needless to say it could end badly. It wasn't your fault this guy was a psycho.

[Heather]

Shit like this terrifies me- I ALWAYS work alone in my ice cream store. Part of me is always wondering whether I have enough strength/time to get into the back room and lock both doors should something turn ugly.

[Jit]

You should time it out, Heather. Seriously. It would be amusing, informative, and possibly, but hopefully not, useful.

[Kat]

Eeek o_O Where I live, if you find yourself in a situation where you'd be working alone... you basically have the right to lock up the store and walk out the door. Someone got killed when they were working by themself, so that's why...

But jeez, what a DOUCHE that guy is! If I were him I'd be phoning the POLICE on the man, not saying "oh, he buys lots of stuff, it's okay if he's a creepy psycho stalker". Ugh.

[Logan]

That manager is a total douch not wanting to ban the guy because he buys too much stuff. Banning the guy is actually not the right thing to do. The cops should have been called. The guy is clearly a danger. Even looking at it from a strict unemotional uncaring business standpoint the manager is an idiot. Unless the guy buys enough stuff to make up for the multi million dollar lawsuit that would result against the store and the manager, if something happened. The guy would only need to give you a simple slap and when it came out that the manager knew about the man and his dangerous behavior and refused to do anything about it, and you will own the store. Heck you may even have a good lawsuit with nothing happening, just the fact that management left you in a known dangerous situation, and refused to do anything.

[Michael]

This is a really horrible story, most of all because of the fact that the manager wouldn't act to prevent the stalking. You could have sued for sexual harassment over that, because it is the manager's duty to make the store free of such a hostile situation.

That "Retail Doc" Bob really needs to read this, and think long and hard about just how much of a positive attitude it's wise to keep in such situations.

[sasakan]

This is some bad scary stuff here.

I remember getting hit on ALL THE TIME by drunk and sober people when I worked nights, alone as a female, in a crappy gas station in an even creepier part of town.

Note that I am not by any means attractive, or at least I don't think so! I'm rather overweight and for work, I wore these super(not)attractive polo shirts and usually had my hair in a messy ponytail. Oh yeah, that's shmexy. Creeped me out too because I had a guy harass me for my number once. I gave him a fake one, thank bob.

[Pharmacy_psycho]

The one thing I can say with my new job is that they tell me we have an absolute "no sexual harassment" policy which includes staff as well as customers. And if you don't get a satisfactory result with one manager, you can go to another without repercussions. I never would have put up with that kind of garbage from any manager, and would have found a lawyer the next day. My safety has always been #1, and I would have been over dickwad's head to corporate in a heartbeat. That kind of crap is intolerable. I'm just glad you made it out alive before you ended up with a rabbit in your pot or a horsehead on your bed 8-O

[the other Kat]

*hugs* You poor, poor soul. This is why retail slaves should be allowed to have a baseball bat (or better yet, a machete) on them at all times.

Good luck with school.

[Mimi]

This makes me glad I have a Boss who lives in the real world. I am a manager with a supplement retailer with the US national chain that uses the British spelling, think Blue and Gold. Being a women in a retail field that attracts a large number of men sexual harassment might as well be in that sitting, standing, stooping part of the job description, I finally decided to draw the line with one particular customer. BTW, this guy wore some type of monitoring device on his ankle and always paid in cash. At first I let it go and gently told him I was married, because he spent large amounts of money every time he was in, and of course the manager in me was weighing the loss to sales. He continued and one day he cornered me and again hit on me offering me cash and suggesting we go into the
stockroom. I called my district manager for advice (seeing that the guy was a great customer and since he was wearing the ankle monitor-he could be violent) and he told me to warn the guy next time he hit on me that we would ban him from the store and if he ever harassed me again we would have him arrested for trespassing and that maybe from now on he should call and ask if I was working and if I was he would come another day.
The next time the guy was in he hit on me in the back hall near the restrooms. I let him know what my DM has said. The guy laughed and put his hands on my shoulder. I snapped I jerked away, tucked into the ladies room pulled out my cell and texted the associate working to call 911. The guy was trying to apologize through the door when the cops got there. Two happened to be pulling in to make a purchase during their lunch when the call went out. They arrested the guy and the company pressed charges for harassment on my behalf. Turns out he was a sexual preditor on parole (hence the ankle monitor). Company policy says cellphones stay in the breakroom but my DM now allows them to be carried as long as they stay on silent and are not used on sales floor unless it is to call 911 due to this incident.

[Kiryu]

Thank goodness you left that for school. Honestly it is things like that which led me to leave where I was working before my current job. Not that I didn't enjoy working there, but the creepy obsessive customers were starting to really become a hassle.

Don't let one bad experience get you down though.

[stbux cupcake]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I had a similar situation happen at my coffee shop. I was perky, nice non-confrontational and worst of all, an attractive young female. Creepy man in his late 50's or early 60's who dressed like a hipster would come in. I like my job most of the time, I like for people to feel welcomed....I REALLY like for people to tip.
Well...this man started bringing me presents, cheap tarnished necklaces from thrift stores, toy cars...weird shit.

Unless you've been in that situation you have no idea how scary it is.
This mans mental state seemed like it was becoming more and more deranged. There were code words for having me hide in the backroom till he left.

Than he started touching himself while he watched me make drinks...and shit hit the fucking fan. I called the cops and had his ass trespassed and arrested. The guy was a registered fucking sexual offender and a schizophrenic.

[Former Wal-Slave]

Crap like this makes me actually appreciate the convenience/liquor store customer service credo. My ex-boyfriend worked the night shift at one. You were supplied with kevlar and a gun and management had a "better safe than sorry" policy for customers. A customer walked in the door, they got their shit, they paid for it, and then they walked out the door. If they deviated a step from that course, the clerks were to presume the worst and act accordingly.

[Pharmacy_psycho]

Holy cow! You guys are freaking me out! I've asked to work the evening shift at my new job (several reasons), and I've only had two small incidences in the past that even made me a little hinky (being a plain Jane has it's benefits).

Once when working a pet store, someone parked out front about 15 minutes before closing and just sat there. Since he wasn't waiting to pick up any of the employees, we finally called the police to come check him out before we all left. At the same pet store, I used to get a guy who came in, and would ask what church I went to. I lived 45 minutes away in another county, so I simply answered, "I don't go to church around here", which really meant, I don't go to church anywhere and its none of your fucking business so stop asking. He finally came in with another woman and asked again, and for the ump-teenth time, I gave the same answer. The woman was really nice and said, "Stop pushing your religion all over people! How many times do I have to tell you? Quit asking people that!" I gave the woman a really huge smile, the guy looked really sheepish, and he never asked me again.

[Retail Drone #37]

Yeah, sometimes I'm scared to lose weight and make myself attractive because I'm worried men, old and young, will start to hit on me. I would have no idea how to handle the situation. I have a boyfriend, but any other guy really scares me to death.

[K]

Mimi, that story is way too common!

I had a barista friend who was tired of this creepy guy who would hit on young women and her in the cafe. She got everyone to sign enough complaints to have him banned. He knew it was her and one day followed her onto the L train. He kept trying to talk to her and touch her, so she got off the train. He got off too and followed her for blocks before she ducked into a bar and called a friend for a ride.

She filed a report at the police station - it turned out the guy was a known sexual offender! She got a restraining order, but that didn't stop him. He followed her again but then the cops (who were good customers at the cafe) arrested him.

People need to know that retail slaves really don't get paid enough to put up with sexual harassment from dangerous criminals!

[SJ]

The scariest thing that ever happened to me, working in retail, was when I was working on my own one slow evening in a large retail store (so i wasn't really alone, but there wasn't anyone nearby) and these two guys came up to buy a belt. One of them kept asking me if the belt was going to break. I said I hoped not, but if he had a problem he could bring it back with the receipt within 90 days. The guy then said that if it broke he would come back and "get me". I'm pretty sure I didn't handle the situation well because I informed him that I didn't make the belt. The guys proceeded to inform me that security wouldn't be able to stop them because they had a gun. I was literally frozen in fear because I've never had to handle a situation like that. Luckily the guys left and I've never seen them since. But ever since then I haven't been comfortable working in that department or on my own.

[Emancipated, for now]

My worst stalker found me when I worked in the bakery of a grocery store. I told him no, even showed him the ring on the significant finger of my left hand, but it didn't deter him in the slightest. I lived across the street and usually walked to work. Unfortunately, he lived in the same apartment complex and it didn't take him long to spot me both at home and at work. I usually closed, sometimes by myself...those were some loooong walks home some nights, super-jumpy and looking over my shoulder every two seconds. At least in the store I could dash into the walk-in cooler if I saw him coming, and let my coworker wait on him.

My friend wasn't so lucky. She was closing alone one night at a store in a not-great part of town, and someone came in and robbed the place. Took her just-cashed paycheck right out of her purse, too. The completely heartless company didn't care in the slightest. They didn't stop scheduling her to close alone, either, and since she needed the money to feed her daughter, she didn't quit. The next armed "customer" to burst in the store late at night raped her. Never caught the _______. She quit after that, but I still think she should have at least sued the crap outta that place for knowingly endangering an employee.