Retail Slut Stevie, is getting a Retail Balls Award for this post on how she handled being in line behind a disgusting Piggy Shopper who attempts to lie....
First off, let me say that in the near five years I've been in the work force, I've experienced nearly all types of Retail Hell. I've been in fast food, large chain stores, bar tending, and currently a large discount store. That being said, I make sure to be an extra-nice customer everywhere I go.
Now, I'm 30 weeks pregnant, and I was really jonesing for some fresh pineapple after my doctors appointment, and I was out of soda. I decided to go to the new grocery store in town since they still have some pretty decent grand opening deals.
I retrieved my items (one pineapple, and one case of store brand soda) and was moving to get into the express lane, when a big ghetto bitch with her rude ass friends and seemingly adorable daughter run infront of me with a FULL FUCKING CART of groceries (that were needless to say, purchased with food stamps).
In my mind, I'm screaming "FUCK YOU BITCH! THIS PINEAPPLE AND SODA ARE HEAVIER THAN YOUR FUCKING DOOR KNOCKER SIZED HOOP EARRINGS!!! WHAT KIND OF PERSON CUTS A PREGNANT WOMAN WITH 2 GODDAMN ITEMS IN LINE????!!!!"...but being the generally courteous person I am, I said nothing.
Then ghetto momma and her witchy friends just gossip about the magazine covers, not even paying attention to the child in the cart. This child is trying very hard to grab some frosted cakes displayed to the left that someone had obviously worked hard making...then it happened.
A frosted and decorated carrot cake fell off of the shelf and
onto the floor, ruining the decorations and breaking the packaging. The
mom turned around and put the cake on the conveyor, so I thought maybe
she was going to be taking responsibility for her unsupervised child's
actions by purchasing the cake....boy howdy was I wrong.
As the cashier was about to ring up the cake (that was dropped in her sight) she said "Oh hell no, we don't want that...I just picked it up because SOMEONE dropped it."
SO I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT!
I don't work here, so I can yell at whoever the fuck I want.
"Excuse me, ma'am, but not just anyone dropped it. Your child, who you decided not to watch dropped that cake. I saw it, she saw it, and you saw it, so how's about YOU PAY FOR THAT CAKE! Are you fucking aware that every item that gets thrown away unpaid for that is damaged by assholes like you and their children loses the store money! AND WHEN THE STORE LOSES MONEY NICE PEOPLE LIKE THIS YOUNG LADY GET EVEN LESS HOURS WORKING FUCKING THANKLESS JOBS SERVING WELFARE SLOBS LIKE YOU! GUESS WHAT, THOSE FOOD STAMPS YOU'RE USING COME OUT OF HER PAYCHECK, AND MINE! IT'S NOT FREE FUCKING MONEY!"
The bitch stared at me like she was about to knock me out, and her daughter started crying, but damn it she paid for that cake.
I might've been a little bit harsh, even bitchy, but the girl at the register was appreciative that I said everything she was thinking.
I have plenty more retail hell stories, but I think I'll save them for another day.
Sincerely,
Retail Slut of 5 years, Stevie
Stevie deserves a fuckin Retail Balls metal! We bow in honor.
















































You are awesome. Not only did you put her in her place, but she actually paid for what her little demon spawn destroyed. Bawls to you!
Oh, and future congratulations.
Posted by: atombomb1945 | December 03, 2009 at 04:58 AM
She's probably also one of those people that opens a package and then takes an unopened one. Thank you for putting her in her place! Not that she won't do it again, but she did pay for it that time anyway.
Posted by: Pharmacy_psycho | December 03, 2009 at 08:20 AM
So awesome, some times you just need to let the crazy hormonal pregnant bitch free ;-)
Posted by: N/A | December 03, 2009 at 08:57 AM
Woohoo! Keep them coming!
Posted by: Kerry | December 03, 2009 at 10:13 AM
It might have been her child's fault, but a child hardly knows any better. She should have taken responsibility and bought the cake in the first place. Accidents like these happen everyday because parents aren't being the least bit attentive.
Posted by: CheerfulChirps | December 03, 2009 at 10:23 AM
If it hadn't been for you, she would have gotten away with SOMEONE destroying that cake and not paying for it.
Posted by: Tony | December 03, 2009 at 02:07 PM
Yeah, I'm thinking about it today, and I'm glad I let the preggo bitch out! I'm honored to have deserved a retail balls award.
Posted by: Stevie | December 03, 2009 at 03:24 PM
Good for you!
I hate welfare douchebags.
Plus, bumping in front of a pregnant woman, really?
Giant tit.
Posted by: Burger Bitch | December 03, 2009 at 07:01 PM
Some people really need welfare. some people just like to suck on the large teet of the government. Someone I know does this, and it really bothers me. Unemployment is for people who really can't find a job, not for someone who doesn't feel like having one.
Posted by: CheerfulChirps | December 04, 2009 at 08:21 PM
AUGH. Rude, rude, rude! 1) Your freaking food stamp items can wait. I understand that our economy is bad and that some people really do need their food stamps. But when you're buying 20 boxes of candy and lobster with it - ya don't need it!!! And when you have a Coach or Gucci satchel hanging over your shoulder? Ya don't need it!
2) Pregnant. Enough said.
3) Two compared to two hundred. Let's do this math here. Is it going to kill her to wait literally forty-five seconds or less for your transaction to be completed? Really now? She can't wait forty-five seconds? Yet she can take the time to pick up the cake and lie about it.
4) WATCH YOUR FREAKING KIDS! Or discipline them! It's so much easier to discipline children so you don't have to worry about whether or not they're behaving all the time later. Jeeze, people, come on....
Posted by: Jit | December 07, 2009 at 09:41 AM
Way to stick up for the little guy. We need more people like you.
Posted by: Not Perect | December 11, 2009 at 12:18 PM
awesome job of putting a stupid slob in her place! and thank you a thousand times over for standing up for those who cant say much for risk of losing a job. Way to stick it to the stupid free-loading bitch!
Posted by: BORDERlinePersonality | January 10, 2010 at 07:32 PM