Stinky Grinch Customer Gets Told

Brittany is getting a Holiday Retail Balls Award for her story about reaching the edge of Retail Hell while helping a nasty custy during the Christmas rush:

So last year I was in a crunch for cash because a badly needed surgery had robbed me of my savings, so I did something everyone warned me not to do: I took a holiday help job at a retail store.

It was the WORST decision of my life, hands down.

The customers were rude and so stupid I wondered how they could even drive, the other coworkers were entirely unhelpful, and my manager was the most useless lump of flesh I have ever seen.

But all that aside, I have the perfect story for your site.

So there I was two days before Christmas, manning the only open register while my manager and coworker took their fourth smoke breaks that shift at the same damn time, when this guy walks into the store.

Before he even says a word to me I KNOW there's gonna be trouble, because he reeks of cat piss, onions and he's grumbling under his breath.

He stalks up to the register, and ignoring that I'm busy cashing out a long line of customers, demands that I tell him where the batteries are.

Like ok asshole, you can't crane your neck two degrees, look up and read the fucking aisle signs? Whatever, my day's been ok so far so I'm still super-happy-friendly Cashier Slave and kindly point out the correct aisle.

He hunches off over that way, leaving the air easier to breathe and me to finish dealing wih the customers who were in line. I get them cashed out fairly quickly, and start wiping down my counter and straightening the endcaps since apparently custys can't keep their damned hands to themselves while waiting five minutes in line.

All of a sudden, GrouchMaster McSmelly rears up behind me with NO warning, shouting about how I had "lied" to him because there were no goddamn batteries over there.

Bull shit there aren't, because my 103lbs ass had to drag every single box out BY MYSELF and stock that entire section, even though I'd told my manager and given her a doctor's note saying I couldn't lift, pull or push anything over 10lbs.

But I have no customers so I go back there, with him complaining the entire time, and whaddya know, there ARE batteries. Loads of them!

Just not the particular size, brand and deal he WANTS, which was Sunshine AA, a four pack for a dollar. I tell him we ran out of those earlier in the day, and he tells me to "Go in the fucking back and get me some."

I say "Sir, there aren't any in the back, we are completely out-" and he cuts me off by again calling me a liar (which I'm getting fucking tired of) and DEMANDING that I go into the back and "do my fucking job."

I walk into the back and give a few hearty kicks to the empty stock boxes my lazy manager was supposed to take out, calm myself down and then go back out and tell him what I ALREADY knew, that we were out of his particular brand. I offer him a different brand of AA four pack (which are actually WAY better than the ones he wanted) and the cost is only .50 more. He goes off the wall and starts ranting about how this store sucks, about how I'm lazy, etc before stalking off somewhere.

Whatever, old dude. I go back up to my counter, and 15 minutes later there he is, purchasing a lightbulb, a sponge and some shampoo (WTF?).

As I'm ringing him up he starts in on me again, with how I'm "ruining his grandchildren's Christmas because their toys won't work without THOSE batteries" and as he's handing me the money, he asks me what the hell he was supposed to do NOW.

That's when I kind of lost my cool, because he's cursing at me the entire time. I hand him his change back, look him in the eyes and say "Well sir, I know it's the Christmas season, but I'm not Jesus so I can't perform a miracle and pull your damn batteries out of thin fucking air. I suggest you GO TO A DIFFERENT STORE that has the batteries you want in stock, because WE DON'T HAVE THEM HERE."

I then smile, hand him his band, and say "And have a Merry Christmas!" so sugary sweet I gave myself diabetes. He kind of stares open mouthed as I turn and walk off.

I'm thankful my manager wasn't in the store, because I would have gotten fired flat out and I needed that job, but damn, there's only so much I can put up with and being cursed at and called a liar is NOT on that list.

 

Comments

[Joe]

It's been said before: being old does NOT give you a license to be rude!

[atombomb1945]

It amazes me the expressions customers come up with when you give them back the ugly crap that comes out of their mouths.

[SelfCheckOutBITCH]

When a customer starts personally attacking you, I say it is totally legit to give it right back to them. I don't care if it gives the store a bad image, any sane customers would realize that the old fart was a terrible customer in the first place.

[brittany]

Well, I talked to the only coworker who would deign to speak to the "lowly holiday help," and apparently that old bastard comes in EVERY WEEK, crabs about something/someone in the store, makes a small purchase then leaves. Every. Week.

If the stores THAT bad, why would he keep coming back? I was just glad I got away with it -and- didn't put up with him anymore, since the 24th was my last day.

[mudflapgirl]

That asshole has grandchildren?Can you imagine that stinking bastard showing up at your house to ruin your Christmas morning?Man,I feel sorry for those kids.

[Pharmacy_psycho]

Awwww, Brittany. :-( I'm sorry you got a customer like that and a boss that was giving you a hard time to boot. Being on the injured list is no fun at all. People who walk around grumpy like that have a special place waiting for them... cold dry turkey with sticky mashed potatoes, soggy green beans, and bland stuffing. And I hope the grandkids end up with the best batteries (Energizer) so their noisy toys drive Grandpa NUTS! and just keep going... and going... and going... and going... >;-)

[Anger Mismanagement]

What an ass! Seriously, things need to change in the retail world. If legislation has to be passed to force employers to protect their workers from that kind of abuse, so be it. Nobody should have to choose between their dignity and their job!

[brittany]

He was literally buying like, THE shittiest brand of batteries out there. I haven't found anything that sucks more than Sunshine batteries.
>.> The injured part wasn't so bad, I've got painkillers and those heatwrap/packs that help out, what really got to me was the cursing. It was not even necessary.

[Slave nr. 376]

"I then smile, hand him his band, and say "And have a Merry Christmas!" so sugary sweet I gave myself diabetes. He kind of stares open mouthed as I turn and walk off."

Hilarious.
Well done. Never take abuse like that from anyone.

[Ky]

I always got a kick out of killing them with kindness. The nastier the customer got, the more they tried to get a rise out of me, the closer I got to being Mother Teresa. Drove them nuts and what could they do? File a complaint that I was being nice? A couple of 'em even started feeling bad for being so mean to someone so nice and started easing up some. I never took it personally - they didn't know me from Eve and most likely treated everyone that way, so it's no skin off my nose if they call me names.

[Ana the Royal Bitch]

No, more, nice, Ana! I hate old people. They give me hives. You did the right thing. Old people are like children, you have to slap their hand and tell them "no that is not your toy" and you can't talk to people like that. I don't understand why people assume just because they have fucking money that they can fuck with me. Yea you are paying me to help you civilly and to get what you need, but if we don't have it in stock, then sorry. It's not a magical store. Go to fucking Disneyland if you want people to suck your dick and take your crap. I am not working in the most magical place on earth.

Sorry, crusty pissed me off at work today. No ma'am we do not have teen jeans in adult sizes. Try Big and Tall, we don't have size 200 here.
-Ana