From Office Supply Whore:
A little song me and my fellow retail slaves came up with, just in time for the holidays. Enjoy and be merry!
The 12 days of Retail (sung to 12 days of Christmas)Oh! On the first day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
An unlaminated fake ID
On the second day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the third day of retail, a customer gave to meeee:
3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the fourth day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the fifth day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the sixth day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the seventh day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the eighth day of retail a customer gave to meee:
8 handfuls of pennies, 7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
9 expired coupons, 8 handfuls of pennies, 7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the tenth day of retail, a customer gave to meeee:
10 dirty fingernails, 9 expired coupons, 8 handfuls of pennies, 7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the eleventh day of retail a customer gave to meeee:
11 toddler tantrums, 10 dirty fingernails, 9 expired coupons, 8 handfuls of pennies, 7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards! 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID
On the twelfth day of retail, a customer gave to meeee (sing with gusto):
12 squeaky cart wheels, 11 toddler tantrums, 10 dirty fingernails, 9 expired coupons, 8 handfuls of pennies, 7 sweaty dollars, 6 words of English, 5 stolen credit cards!, 4 open boxes, 3 bad checks, 2 missing teeth, and an unlaminated fake ID!
Happy Festivus :)
Try not to kill yourselves (or customers) this holiday season.
Love,Office Supply Whore
Loved it!
Posted by: Burger Bitch | December 04, 2009 at 04:48 PM
F*#%KING......BRILLIANT!
Your a true DEMENTED RETAIL POET!
You are on your way of becoming a member of JaSoNs Bi-PoLaR ClUb!
I am cleaning up my RETAIL VOMIT and excrement. BRAVO! .....Encore!
I don't know if I should stand up and clap for you..OR..give out as charity "Retail Therapy Coupons" from my own personal STASH
...to bad these 'Retail Post Traumatic Stress Disorders linger forever! Night Sweats are a BITCH!! WTF?
...just when you thought it was safe to stop masturbating and to put the bottle of JACK DANIELS down... THINK AgAiN!!!
Jason awards you with a prestigious RHU Christmas Pine-cone and 3 Reindeer MEDS!
Do JASON a favor....
Make all of us RECOVERING RETAILERS proud...the next time ....shove SANTA S Magic Winter Cone up"prickly-prick" Custys ANNOYING.....ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: JASON ... RHU | December 04, 2009 at 05:32 PM
Happy Festivus!
That's almost as funny as the redneck 12 days of Christmas by Jeff Foxworthy. XD
Posted by: CheerfulChirps | December 04, 2009 at 08:15 PM
I love these parodies. Again with the teaching fellow co-workers this song.
Posted by: Jit | December 07, 2009 at 09:29 AM
Everybody’s got something they had to leave behind One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time. There’s no use looking back or wondering How it could be now or might have been.
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Posted by: ugg outlet | November 15, 2010 at 11:36 PM
Thanks for your comments, Stephen! Yeah, I've considered all these things,
and did try to talk to him about it. But he shied away from telling me any
good reasons soooo..... I'll really never know! But it's entertaining now
(not back then!) to ruminate on reasons why. Thanks for your added thoughts!
;)
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