Magical Kingdom Custy's Selective Hearing Shuts Down Ride

A Sleepy McSparkles here, ready to not whine about the Golden Arches for once.

These little stories come from way back in 2008, back when I did an internship for the Mouse in Florida.

Specifically, I worked in the educational park, on the least popular ride on the Future World side. It was a ride about Energy and how Ellen DeGeneris can't win at Jeopardy without Bill Nye helping her cheat.

The ride was a 45 minute long movie with cars that slowly moved through a dinosaur diorama at one point. Since my ride was so slow, people would come to it after riding say, Mission Space or Test Track, thinking "Hey, this looks like a nice, chill ride to settle my tummy!"

So about once or twice a week, we'd find a nice little pile of vomit in one of the cars or in the exit area.

SWELL.

But I didn't even care about that. What pissed me off were the ECVs. The electric cars Guest Services rented out to guests who "needed" them. I say "needed" because I only saw one girl who actually DID need it, because her leg was in a cast. One lady admitted to me that she had it because of a HANGNAIL.

Now, these ECV's were too big to fit on the handicapped ramps on my ride. They always have been, they always will be. Telling me they fit last time you were here will not get your ECV onto the ride.

There were a few people who brought their own. They were smaller, and that was fine because those actually did fit. There was one man, however, who tried backing out of the ride when it was over, and started to fall off the ramp. I somehow managed to catch his fat ass AND his ECV.

But I think the worst one was this lady about 3 months into my internship. It took us a good long time to convince her to switch to a wheelchair, which we had nearby for these ECV riders so they could still ride.

Now, it's important to note that many times during the intro part of the ride/show, the guests are informed that it gets LOUD, and it gets DARK. the Cast members say it, even Ellen DeGeneris says it once or twice.

WE LET YOU KNOW IT'S LOUD AND DARK.

We also warn them that if anyone is caught standing up, that we have to stop everything and no one gets to ride anymore. The lights start to fade and I hear that same lady start yelling

"Why's it so dark?"

The doors open to the next part of the ride, where the cars will start moving to, and from the light shining in, I see that her friend HAS LOWERED THE HANDICAPPED RAMP AND IS TRYING TO PULL HER OFF THE RIDE.

So now, for the safety of this dipshit, I have to push the big red "STOP THE RIDE" button, which kills the ride, meaning no one gets to see the whole thing and we have to evacuate everyone so we can start the hour and a half reboot cycle.

I run over to her and she's saying "I didn't know it was gonna get so dark!"

HOW MANY TIMES DID WE TELL YOU?!?

Did you just take a nap while we told you about that little tidbit?

YOU JUST IGNORED ELLEN!

But, I think those are my only complaints I have from working for the Mouse that I can remember.

I think I'll dig up my 2 super happy stories for next time. We need a good revival of our faith in humanity.

--McSparkles OUT!

 

Comments

[Mouse Mastered]

ouch. I can only imagine how slow days working there could be. >>

[Redheadactress]

LOL Agreed. Arcade is just the same. I mean seriously who goes to an arcade when you have parks to go to? Just saying.

[Jmonkeh]

Omg, it takes an hour and a half to reboot that thing? O.o That must SUCK.....>.>

[Colonixick]

...why would you try to escape because it is dark? DOES NOT COMPUTE!

[Damien]

"YOU JUST IGNORED ELLEN!"
best line ever

[Aunty]

I vaguely remember that ride! Not much about it other than I liked it, though.
That woman is just begging to be the winner of a Darwin Award! "Durr, iz dark so we're jus gonna go now."

[Humor_Me]

Okay, as a mobility impaired person, who the heck needs a cart for a HANGNAIL???? Why not just offer a cart to everyone because they are just too lazy to walk?

And people really get sick at the end of the ride? REALLY??? *facepalm*

That lady must be from another planet. How can you ignore all the safety warnings that parks put in place? I've never been to "the Mouse", but every other theme park announces over and over the safety precautions before you make it onto the ride. Another crusty off in the ozone...

[Mouse Mastered]

Awww, poor humor! << The best I can do is say that if you want to come down I can get you a decent percent off a disney room, if you want.

[Redheadactress]

Me too.

[Kiki]

Oh, my gosh, the other riders must have been so mad at her.

[A]

Oh god, I hated those things. Do you know how often people would just run you over because you were a "cast member" and they were allowed.

One time at the arches a guy came up to me with the keys to one of those. Apparently some woman had rammed her electric scooter over his pregnant wife's foot and then yelled at the lady for being in the way. The husband got understandably pissed and took the keys out of her scooter. He gave them to me (I offered his wife first aid three times like you're supposed to), which led to the most bizarre walkie conversation with the manager ever.

Best part - he was ranting about how the lady had jumped out fast to yell at his wife for being in her way, "She didn't need it, she was just fat."

[A]

Sorry, I don't know why I said arches. I worked in the kingdom, and this occurred near a certain ride I never understood where people ride around a track on these little cars.

[WMDKitty]

I always bring my own mobility devices. I prefer my own because, hey, it's not this one-size-fits-all scooter crap, it's actually built to suit my size, weight, and specific disability-related needs.

And on that note, I once spent a week without a footplate (thanks to the airline losing the complete leg-foot-rest-thingie). As a result, I spent a week hauling ass on my crutches, and gaining a whole new appreciation for my wheels.

[mystic_eye_cda]

I was at a fair (so huge area, lots of walking) and there was a woman with crutches and a cast.... and on the other foot she was wearing a 6" stiletto, the woman in there cleaning kept asking if she was ok, and to watch the floor as it was wet, etc. The cleaning woman looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

Seriously crutches and high heals do NOT mix.

[Skittles]

Wow it's people like these that have me chanting "Darwin Darwin Darwin", especially the one with crutches and a high heeled shoe.

[Humor_Me]

Skittles & mystic_eye_cda: How do you think she ended up on crutches with a cast in the first place?

When I first injured my knee it took a little getting used to the crutches, but after being on and off them for years, I could do things most people would 8-O at. Like going through a door with school books and a small tray in the other. It was like I had learned to grow 2 extra hands.

Some people are very considerate and opened doors for me, and other people were total jerks and let them slam in my face. However, never ONCE did I consider high heels in the package. That's just asking for trouble.

[mystic_eye_cda]

@Humor_Me

I had the same experience with crutches. I even had a bus driver that wouldn't even pause long enough for me to put my fare in even after he'd sent me flying once.

-----
The best recently: A guy biking in busy downtown traffic, no helmet obviously, with iPod headphones on, texting AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNND a leg in a cast.

[Nocturnesthesia]

This is kind of off-topic but I get SOOO pissed at the "cart-fatties"... Just the other day, this HUGE woman in a HUGE cart with her HUGE kid riding on the back picked a fight with me at the grocery store. Seriously. There is one checkout aisle that is wider than the others to accommodate wheelchair users, but I had gone through it because I had my nephews with me in a stroller. Fatty GOT UP and tried to shove me because "this aisle is for disabled people"... after making some nasty racial comments to me, of course.

The manager threw her out though, I guess she's caused trouble before? GAH. I hate people.

[McSparkles]

@ Humor_Me: It wasn't that they got sick from my ride, it's that they had just gotten off one of the crazier rides, and decided to come to mine to settle their tummies. Obviously, it didn't always work.

[NyxErebus]

@ Mystic_eye_cda
No wonder he ended up with a cast O_o He's lucky it wasn't a neck brace.

@Nocturnesthesia
best place to see those fatties on scooters in their natural habitat is at the Mart of Wal *shudders* someone shoot me should my girth become too much for my own legs to carry me.