Good gods RHUers...is it just me, or did someone dump a dose of bitchiness on customers this week??
I had a discount rat today afflicted with the very unfortunate selective-reading disorder. She could read the "40% off one item" line on her coupon just fine, but was entirely unable to read the rules and conditions for the coupon. So sad, this plague. Perhaps a selective-reading disorder cure fund should be established.
I got her almost right after being bitched at for a website issue (which nobody in our store controls) and for how crappy our service line is (I have no control over how long you're on hold!), AND after ten people in a row refused a members card, meaning that my percentage for today is shot to hell and I'm going to get yelled at about it later.
So I was not in the mood for discount rat shit. She comes up with a book worth $35 and three other things, all $2.99 each, then flings a coupon at me. This coupon, as most, has a paragraph of tiny print. Is it fair that companies hide their rules in tiny print? No. But that doesn't change the fact that they DO, and they're typed there on the page and legally binding.
Custy wants the coupon on the $35 book, of course. This is fine. I ring it up and then she flings another 40% coupon at me and wants me to use it on another thing. And for a nice customer, honestly, I would have used it.
But discount rat custy ignored my kindly "Hi, how are you today?" greeting, has not used 'please' or 'thank you' once, very impolitely snarled at me about not wanting the member card, and has thrown the coupons at me rather than handing them nicely. Now she wants me to break the rules.
Fine by me. Two can play the hardass game. >)
I put on my shit-eating smile and say, "Ma'am, you can only use one coupon per transaction."
Custy: "It says off one item. Use it on another item."
Me: (What's this? Still incapable of saying please?) "I can't." *I point to where it says One Coupon Per Customer on the coupon*
Custy: "I find this hard to understand."
Me: "It says right here on the coupon that you can only use one coupon. I used the first one on this book. I cannot use this second one."
Custy: "I just don't understand."
Me: *holding the coupon out and underlining the words with my nail as I read them aloud*
"One coupon per customer per transaction only."
Custy: *huffs, but stays silent*
I give her the total. She then says, "how much was the hardcover with the discount?"
Custy: "The book was already 30% off. Why didn't I get that too."
Me: "We can't combine discounts. The computer physically will not let us." (And fuck, even if it did, like I'd seriously give YOU 70% off??)
Custy: *starts huffing and puffing again* "I don't understand."
Me: "It's the rule."
Custy: "So I get no discount at all?"
Me: "No, you got the 40%. You have to pick one or the other, so I gave you the 40."
Custy: *stares at me huffily*
Me: (Hahaha, don't even bother! You're fucking with the wrong associate, lady.) I hold out the coupon again and read off to her, "This coupon cannot be combined with other coupon or in-store discounts."
Custy: *sniffs* "I just find that very hard to follow."
Me: "Mm hm. Your total is $XX.XX. Do you need a bag?"
Custy: *glares, but leaves without another word*
Amusingly, she left her second 40% coupon. I gave it to a nice customer later on.
To top it off, a custy went back into our break room, opened the brand-new tin of Christmas cookies I brought in for my co-workers, and stole one. Then she walked around the store with it and dropped crumbs everywhere. WTF.
Hang in there retail slaves. I wish you guys happy holidays and a new year full of polite customers who can actually read their entire coupons! (I can dream...)