Many of you already know, but I wanted to shamelessly promote my new book to all of you!
STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP!
It's a fun humor book with a 150 things that make the gay heart weep - not to mention gag, puke, cry like a baby, and possibly run screaming into the street! Besides the weepy entries, I also took most of the crazy pics with my amazing photography skills and bad photoshopping!
Thanks to Carolanne for taking the pic above at Urban Outfitters in SF!! So awesome to see it next to such great books as What's Your Poo Telling You and Position of the Day!
Below is a sample of the weepiness you'll find in STUFF THAT MAKES A GAY HEART WEEP!
No, I did not take the pic of SP aiming a fire arm, I'd probably be dead right now or my nuts would have been blown clean off! I did, however, take the scary manboobs pic (you should see the rest of him - talk about nauseous weeping!)
Stuff That Makes a Gay Heart Weep is available at stores, but you can get it pretty cheap on Amazon - link is on RHU's sidebar. However, if you want to support your fellow slaves, I recommend buying it at Borders, Barnes and Noble, Kitson, or Urban Outfitters!
I've created a blog to go with Gay Heart and besides all of the superficial silly stuff we weep over, you'll find an exorbitant amout of weeping and wailing on issues, headlines, and videos!
Click the heart below to check out the blog. You might see a few RHU pics on there and if you see anything that makes your heart weep (you don't have to be gay) take a pic and and send it!
...is now out in PAPERBACK!!!!
And for those of you RHUers who already bought the hardcover: Thank you from the bottom of my weary retail-trampled gay heart! xoxoxox!!!!!
For those still hungry for more insanity at The Big Fancy Department Store, the publisher has added new material to the paperback!!!!
THE FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE BONUS SECTION!!
For Retail Hell's Free Gift with Purchase Bonus Material, there's a rant about my Big Fancy employee number (don't we all just feel like freakin numbers sometimes?), some funny tales about how the Customer is Always Right (and what happens when I let them be right), my take on Shopper Do's and Don'ts, and even a readers guide!
Carolanne also worked with me and for those in the know her character in the book also starts with a C!
Slaving away beside the two of them (and several others) made life at The Big Fancy much more bearable. When Retail Hell strikes, it's going to be your coworkers and custy friends that help you get through it with laughter. In spite of the heinous Big Fancy trauma, we had many good times in the stockroom bitching and chuckling about the craziness of it all.
I want to thank all of you RHUers! Your stories, friendship, and support have kept me going and helped create this amazing place where we get to support each other and say WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO SAY!
I've got some copies of Retail Hell to give away, so let's have the first contest!
Keeping in theme with my employee number rant titled "Branded By Numbers" tell me a short tale about your employee numbers (present or past!). Write it in the comments section here. Carolanne, Jason, Burger Bitch, and I will judge and the winner gets an autographed copy and their story published on Retail Hell Underground and The Retail Hell Book Blog! Be sure to leave your email address so we can contact you (it's not shown to the public).
And since we all know there is nothing more weepier than working in Retail Hell, below are a few new tales from my fellow gay retail slave brothers!
I hope you all survive the holidays and get to enjoy some time with your friends and family. It's a sucky time of year for people in the service industry, and I have not forgotten how exhausting it all is, having had to work Christmas Eve and the day after for decades. Know that RHU will be here for you to let it all out, make you laugh, or hopefully cheer you up!
Wishing you all a Retail Hell-Free Holiday Season! Merry Christmas to those of you that celebrate it, and may the New Year bring everything you dream of!(yes that includes winning the lottery so you can retire!)
Keep on Keepin on RHUers!
a.k.a Freeman =D
Let's have another contest! You may have seen this freaky custy head in some of the pics accompanying stories. Jason and I got creative with a Halloween prop, and created a crazy lady for RHU.
And now, it's your job to NAME her!!
Once again Carolanne, Jason, Burger Bitch, and I will choose and be sure to leave your email!
Crusty want a treat? Good Crusty! Stop yer bitchin and don't shit in any fitting rooms and if you behave nicely, you'll get one.
P.S. To keep it fair if someone has already posted a name you wanted, come up with a new one. If there are duplicate names the first poster will win.
The contests will run through Wednesday.
Also - please post employee number tales and names here in the comments section. Don't send emails. This way everyone can read the contenders!