Greetings, everyone! Stepford Snarker here, coming to you live from her workplace, which will henceforth be known as "The Order."
Seeing as how some of you aren't into the whole list thing, I thought we'd have a story instead. Today's story is called "Stepford Snarker and the Screaming Sneauxflayke."
Picture it. I'm working at my register, having a fairly decent and easy day. And then, they came. A mother, a father, and their kid, about two years old, in the cart. Pretty typical-looking family, or so I thought. As they began unloading their groceries, their child (let's call him "Sneauxflayke"-- it's a good generic name for a brat or annoying person, and people around here love to use "-eaux" in everything) begins chucking a few items onto the belt. Not too unexpected-- some kids have done this before-- so I grit my teeth and try to think of the positives, like them leaving soon.
As I began ringing everything up, Sneauxflayke began screeching at me, "Ring up the cat food! Ring up the cat food!" Did Mommy or Daddy try to hush Sneauxflayke? Nope. They just let him keep yelling at me. I finally finish ringing up the groceries, including the damned cat food. They pay and start loading the groceries into the cart. I hoped that would be the end of it. Nope. No such luck.
Sneauxflayke started yanking on the pen for the credit card machine (attached to a string keeping it attached to the machine) and banging at the machine. I grit my teeth and give the parents a look of "Damn it, control your child! This is why the machines never flipping work correctly!" Do they corral Sneauxflayke? Nope. They take several minutes to gradually get the pen out of Sneauxflayke's hand and move him away from the machine. Not a word of "No" or "Don't."
And some people wonder why I dislike ringing up families with small children.