Ok. So. Tonight was the. bestest. night. ever!!!!! I currently work at a clothing store known to be trendy, yet inexpensive. And I love working there! The company is good to it's employees, management is effing awesome (more on that to follow) and most of my coworkers are pretty kick-ass. Ahhh, if only we didn't have to deal with the customers.
But tonight made it all worth while! It seemed like a pretty typical Monday, kinda slow but with only 4 of us closing (Mamacita, Fashion Plate, MVP, and me) it was busy enough. It was shortly after 9 (we close at 9:30) when a woman and her husband came up to the register wanting to return 2 items and purchase 2 more.
Now, I am authorized to process returns, but these clothes reeked of cigarette smoke and no way in hell was I going to accept them! So I told the customer that I had to get the manager's approval. I called over to the fitting room thinking Mamacita was in there, only to have MVP answer. So I asked MVP to send Mamacita to reg. Meanwhile....
Angry Bitch: Why won't you take them back? I have the tags!
Me: Well, they smell strongly of cigarette smoke, so I have to have a manager ok the return.
AB: You better fucking take them back! They were in my car! What fucking business it is of your what I do in my personal life?!
Me: Ma'am, it's none of my business. But the clothing has to be in resellable condition in order for me to process the return. (Now, in AB's defense *snort* the clothes looked fine, obviously never worn, tags still attached, receipt in the bag - a "perfect" return in all regards except that they REEKED.)
(MVP calls me back at this point to tell me that Mamacita is on her way up. Neither Mamacita nor MVP know what is going on but Fashion Plate has heard AB yelling and made her way over to reg just in case :D I freaking love these people! And while I'm on with MVP...)
AB: (to husband) I need to get out of here before I punch this bitch! (back to me) You better fucking take them back, I still have the tags!
Me: Ma'am, the door is right there if you need to leave. But I will not return these unless my manager says it's ok.
AB: You fucking HAVE TO take them! I still have the tags!
I finally see Mamcita and go over to tell her that AB is trying to return clothes that stink of cigs and I need her to ok it. (This is all she knows at this point, since she was in the back office counting down for the night). I have not once told AB that she can't return them, just that a manager has to approve it. Nor have I been anything other than exceedingly polite (even after she threatened to punch me - Fashion Plate said later that she was impressed I was able to keep my cool throughout, but I just thought she was hysterical!)
And as we're walking back to the reg, we can hear AB yelling that we have to take them, she's gonna fucking punch that bitch (me! :D), blah, blah, blah and Mamacita gives me an oh-no-she-didn't look.
Mamcita: What's wrong?
AB: Why won't you fucking take these back? I still have the tags!
Mamacita: Because they stink and I don't have to take them back.
At this point, I have a pen and her receipt and am underlining and circling keys
points of our return policy printed on the bottom. Such as "merchandise must be returned in original selling condition" and "[our store] reserves the right to refuse returns". :) *tee hee* All the while AB is still screaming profanities and threatening us. And this is where it gets goooood. (At least I think so, but I'm kinda weird like that.)
Mamcita: You can leave. I am not an animal. You do not treat me or my employees like we are. Bye! Leave!
AB: I'm not leaving, you have to take these! I'm calling the cops!
That's right! The mother. fucking. cops! She called 911 and actually told the dispatcher it was because we wouldn't take her return!!!!!!!!
BWAHHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!! I was lmfao while Mamacita was yelling at her to get out of the store, all while she was on the phone with the police!!!!
Oh man, I wished the cops had actually showed up! I would have loved, loved, loved to see/hear their reaction! Or even the dispatcher's! Instead, mall security came along and started talking to AB who was right outside the front door. I had to go to the back of the store to finish cleaning my department, so I missed most of what happened next, but I ran back to the front of the store when I heard Mamacita yelling some more.
It was over by the time I got there, but apparently, the security guard started yelling at Mamacita! "I told you to be quiet!" and "That's enough!" WTF? So Mamacita kicked him out, telling him that she wasn't going to take that from customers and she sure as hell wasn't going to take it from "no damn toy cop!"
And then she dropped the gate and called his boss, who promptly apologized for his behavior (he's a new, young kid who doesn't know how tight Mamacita is with the security team - poor thing lol).
So, to sum up I got to see Mamacita all fired up, witnessed first hand an entitled customer call the cops to report us, and got to close about 5 minutes early. So pretty much the bestest night ever!