Crazy Custy Calls The Cops because Her Return Is Refused

Nyl again. This is going to be a long one, but soooo worth it! I promise ;)

Ok. So. Tonight was the. bestest. night. ever!!!!! I currently work at a clothing store known to be trendy, yet inexpensive. And I love working there! The company is good to it's employees, management is effing awesome (more on that to follow) and most of my coworkers are pretty kick-ass. Ahhh, if only we didn't have to deal with the customers.

But tonight made it all worth while! It seemed like a pretty typical Monday, kinda slow but with only 4 of us closing (Mamacita, Fashion Plate, MVP, and me) it was busy enough. It was shortly after 9 (we close at 9:30) when a woman and her husband came up to the register wanting to return 2 items and purchase 2 more.

Now, I am authorized to process returns, but these clothes reeked of cigarette smoke and no way in hell was I going to accept them! So I told the customer that I had to get the manager's approval. I called over to the fitting room thinking Mamacita was in there, only to have MVP answer. So I asked MVP to send Mamacita to reg. Meanwhile....

Angry Bitch: Why won't you take them back? I have the tags!

Me: Well, they smell strongly of cigarette smoke, so I have to have a manager ok the return.

AB: You better fucking take them back! They were in my car! What fucking business it is of your what I do in my personal life?!

Me: Ma'am, it's none of my business. But the clothing has to be in resellable condition in order for me to process the return. (Now, in AB's defense *snort* the clothes looked fine, obviously never worn, tags still attached, receipt in the bag - a "perfect" return in all regards except that they REEKED.)

(MVP calls me back at this point to tell me that Mamacita is on her way up. Neither Mamacita nor MVP know what is going on but Fashion Plate has heard AB yelling and made her way over to reg just in case :D I freaking love these people! And while I'm on with MVP...)

AB: (to husband) I need to get out of here before I punch this bitch! (back to me) You better fucking take them back, I still have the tags!

Me: Ma'am, the door is right there if you need to leave. But I will not return these unless my manager says it's ok.

AB: You fucking HAVE TO take them! I still have the tags!

I finally see Mamcita and go over to tell her that AB is trying to return clothes that stink of cigs and I need her to ok it. (This is all she knows at this point, since she was in the back office counting down for the night). I have not once told AB that she can't return them, just that a manager has to approve it. Nor have I been anything other than exceedingly polite (even after she threatened to punch me - Fashion Plate said later that she was impressed I was able to keep my cool throughout, but I just thought she was hysterical!)

And as we're walking back to the reg, we can hear AB yelling that we have to take them, she's gonna fucking punch that bitch (me! :D), blah, blah, blah and Mamacita gives me an oh-no-she-didn't look.

Mamcita: What's wrong?

AB: Why won't you fucking take these back? I still have the tags!

Mamacita: Because they stink and I don't have to take them back.

At this point, I have a pen and her receipt and am underlining and circling keys
points of our return policy printed on the bottom. Such as "merchandise must be returned in original selling condition" and "[our store] reserves the right to refuse returns". :) *tee hee* All the while AB is still screaming profanities and threatening us. And this is where it gets goooood. (At least I think so, but I'm kinda weird like that.)

Mamcita: You can leave. I am not an animal. You do not treat me or my employees like we are. Bye! Leave!

AB: I'm not leaving, you have to take these! I'm calling the cops!

That's right! The mother. fucking. cops! She called 911 and actually told the dispatcher it was because we wouldn't take her return!!!!!!!!

BWAHHHHAAAAAAHHHAAAAAHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!! I was lmfao while Mamacita was yelling at her to get out of the store, all while she was on the phone with the police!!!!

Oh man, I wished the cops had actually showed up! I would have loved, loved, loved to see/hear their reaction! Or even the dispatcher's! Instead, mall security came along and started talking to AB who was right outside the front door. I had to go to the back of the store to finish cleaning my department, so I missed most of what happened next, but I ran back to the front of the store when I heard Mamacita yelling some more.

It was over by the time I got there, but apparently, the security guard started yelling at Mamacita! "I told you to be quiet!" and "That's enough!" WTF? So Mamacita kicked him out, telling him that she wasn't going to take that from customers and she sure as hell wasn't going to take it from "no damn toy cop!"

And then she dropped the gate and called his boss, who promptly apologized for his behavior (he's a new, young kid who doesn't know how tight Mamacita is with the security team - poor thing lol).

So, to sum up I got to see Mamacita all fired up, witnessed first hand an entitled customer call the cops to report us, and got to close about 5 minutes early. So pretty much the bestest night ever!

--Nyl

Comments

[Green Grin]

"(me! :D)"

I love how thrilled you are about being "that bitch" and threats of violence. There are times where I have been tickled pink about being the subject of a custy's incoherent ravings. Sometimes it's just funny to hear them complain about absolute nonsense.

[snuzzle]

What kind of world do people live in where they call the cops for stuff like this? The Western Burger lady, the "take my parking ticket in all pennies" guy, and now this lady?

News flash guys! The cops aren't your parents. They're not there for you to tattle to when things don't go your way. They're there to protect you. Sheesh. Hope that lady gets arrested the next time she calls the cops for something stupid like this.

[Token Female]

Awww but mommy and daddy always told me to call the cops when I really needed them, and I really, really needed the store to take my return! /sarcasm

Yeah. Where did the idea that cops are there to babysit people come from? Also, why the hell did you even bother to deal with her once she started threatening physical violence? That's the point where she should have been told to GTFO, and not after. If she's doing that, you have every right to boot her out and call the cops on her ass.

[CiCi]

I'm so glad you have a sense of humor, because I probably would have cried. Not kidding. I mean, I laughed while I was reading it but if it had been me, I wouldn't have been able to keep it together. In a bad way. Kudos to you :)
Also? "she sure as hell wasn't going to take it from no damn toy cop!"<-----LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Nyl]

She was so far beyond ridiculous, I could do nothing but laugh! At this point in my life, I've learned to revel in the absurd :) Thanks for the love everyone!

[LadyRed]

That is beyond ridiculous, and I'm surprised the cops didn't want to punish her for wasting their time with a non-emergency call over something like a return at a store. If I remember correctly I swear I've heard of people getting tickets or something for doing that before, where they called over some incident like this one where the cops really didn't need to be called as it was a non-emergency and got in trouble for it.

But good for you ad Mamcita for standing up to that EW who obviously has never been told no in her life.

[LadyRed]

Found it! Apparently you can get in trouble for that , its called Misuse and if the person continously abuses the system by calling 911 for something that is not an emergency I think they can get arrested for it.

[Burger Bitch]

What the fuuuuck?

I would have ripped the phone out of her hands and told the cops that she was fucking crazytown and that they should come and take her away.

What a moron.

[Psyche]

I once read a book of funny calls to 911, and I am just *amazed* at the incredibly loose interpretation of an emergency is to some people. Old people in the hospital complaining about not being treated fast enough (or at all), people wanting to know when tv shows are on, children calling the cops on their parents for discipining them, people unhappy with their fast food order, stoners asking where they can find pot-holy crap! I can see why they would make it against the law to tie up the emergency services like that. And they all say the same thing: "Well, it's an emergency to me!"

[Nyl]

I think dispatch called mall security to handle it instead of sending the police. Ya know, cuz they were busy handling real emergencies, what with the courthouse bomb threats and gun fire in town square.

[Hiedi]

I'm sorry, I couldn't stop laughing. I think it's funny as hell this entitled bitch called the cops after trying to return clothes that reeked. I'm glad they got their asses kicked to the curb.

[Tina]

LOLOLOL! Awesome story! One of the greatest working nights in my life was a Friday night at a bar and the asshole mysoginist owner got punched in the face twice, hours apart, by two different customers! Classic!

[NC Tony]

You have more self control than I do, as soon as she threatened to punch me, I would have told her point blank "If you punch me I WILL call the cops and have you arrested for assault. And I WILL press charges." And when she was on the phone with 911, I would have said in a nice loud voice so the 911 operator could hear "Don't forget to tell them that you threatened physical violence when we wouldn't accept your return!"

Again, it's nice to see a manager with the guts to stand up to a stupid, bitchy, entitled customer and throw them out instead of bending over backwards to make the slave look bad, and the crusty happy. Even going so far to tell off mall security (who it sounds like was taking the crusty bitch's side). Personally, I would have stood around to watch the fireworks.

[Humor_Me]

Oh, pu-leeze! Really? REALLY??? You have to wonder if their ass ever gets jealous of the shit that comes out of their mouth. >:-E

[Nocturnesthesia]

PEOPLE, CLOSE YER BLEEDIN' HTML TAGS!

That is quite funny, though. The best 911 call I ever heard is some crazy lady who called because, in her words: "My toilet is clogged up, and I have to go NOW!" The cops actually showed up too, since the dispatcher couldn't decipher what she was yelling about.