Creepy Custy Hell: Old Ass Pervert Want's More Than Service

Good day to all here at RHU. I'm going to bypass the usual spiel of 'long time reader, first time poster' mainly because I just discovered this site a few weeks ago so there's nothing long term at all about my tenure here. I've worked a plethora of different sales trades in my life (comics, electronics, furniture, housewares, cosmetics and now computer hardware) thus I've dubbed myself 'Trader Jack' as it's about the coolest spin on my career progression that I can think of right now.

Having read the increasing number of sexual harassment stories from female retail workers here (my sympathies to all of you BTW), I wish to regale you with a anecdote to show that males, while certainly at reduced risk, aren't entirely immune from the wanting lustful purveyance of horny custies either.

The setting is a beautiful sunny day, a few years back, in the kitchenware dept. at the local...you know what, let's be creative and call it 'Flowering Valleys'. I've been approached by a distinguished looking gentleman who shall be known from here on as OAP (for Old Ass Pervert, reasons will become clear in a minute).

OAP initially gives all the signs of being a well conducted chap. He's dressed nicely, smiles when he comes up to ask me about our cookware lines, and carries himself with a cheery, welcoming air. A few questions asked, a few explanations given, and soon he's made a decision on a set of pots and pans, and I'm flagging down a stock guy with a hand truck to help me get it from the back.

OAP: "Oh actually could you stay here please? I still have a few things I want to ask about this other set."

Okay, a bit of an unusual request from a custie who's already settled on what they wish to buy, but not the first time I've had someone who's wanted additional information on an alternative. As such I bid the stock guy on his way to retrieve the cookware set from the back and remain with OAP to see how I can further help. He asks a few more fleeting questions about our pots, noticeably showing less interest with each of my answers until...

OAP: "So are you new here? I can't recall seeing you during my last visit."

Me: "Well I was actually hired back in December but I'm relatively new to this department."

OAP: "Oh, so are you new to the city as well?"

Me:"Err, to an extent. I moved here in October."

OAP: "Ahh, so have you been fooling around yet?"

Huh?

Me: "Umm...well, no not really. I'm still getting my bearings around here."

OAP turns to smile at me again, and his smile has noticeably lost its cheery edge and is now looking more like a lecherous smirk.

OAP: "Well are you doing anything tonight then? I could help you with that."

WHAAAA?

Okay, while I've enjoyed a...moderately successful track record dating the fairer sex,
I don't deny I've entertained the odd bi-curious moment about the appeal of the other team. On that note, however, I'm also man enough to admit I'm a ridiculously picky bastard with a short list of the types I'll share amorous affections with, and wrinkly, balding guys who are at least 50 years my senior are not on it.

Me:"I'm....afraid I already have plans sir, and I'm not gay."

OAP looks unfazed, but thence comes the saving grace of the stock guy returning with his pots and my hasty retreat behind the register to put a barrier between me and this no longer nice old gent as I ring him up. Silence mercifully hangs save for OAP uttering his address so I can have his purchased shipped and I briefly entertain the hope he's taken the hint.

Vain, vain hope it turns out to be once his total comes up and he stares at the CRU's screen.

OAP: "You know, considering how much I'm buying here, I think I should at least get a kiss."

Uhh..wah..buhhh..I don't...no, sir. NO!

Me: "I, um, Sir, I'm sorry but that would be inappropriate, and as I already said, I am not that way inclined."

The lecherous grin refuses to shift...and then OAP leans over the top of my register's screen as if hoping that breaching my personal space will sway me to his charms.

OAP: "Come on now, I'm being more than co-operative here. I've let you know where I live and I'm not fussing for a discount. I want a kiss."

Okay, I was trying to be nice before (hopefully), but now I'm officially going to take the kid gloves off about this (to myself at least). Sir, you're old, you've got maybe six wisps of grey hair left on your head, you're covered in liver spots and wrinkles, you look to be about 90 lbs when wet, and now that I'm seeing more of your face than is necessary I'd like to add that you'd benefit greatly from sucking on a Tic Tac and running a brush across those dirty teeth. I understand everyone yearns to feel wanted, whatever their persuasion in life, but as I've already stated twice now, IT'S...NOT...HAPPENING!!

Me: "Sir, I'm going to have to get my manager on this."

Finally the grin vanishes and OAP gives me a grumble of defeat as he swipes his card and signs, accepting the receipt with only a muttering of how everyone at Flowering Valleys is "such a prude" before I grab the hand truck and make haste for the sanctity of the shipping area, prude-ness very much confirmed apparently but I can still hold my head high that it's polite prude-ness.

The funniest part is his hope of finding love in our store wasn't entirely unsound; I actually had three co-workers at the time who were openly gay and two of them were single (not to mention very sweet personalities). Since they were all closer to him in terms of age, however, I can only guess he was looking for something a little more fresh.

I'm sorry if this came off as one giant ageist rant (and if that isn't a card that's been played yet I've no doubt it will be soon), just that's not how you go about looking for some action.

--Trader Jack

Comments

[Skittles]

o.O

[Buddy the Elf...What's your favorite colour?]

I don't think it is "ageist" to have certain sexual preferences and he obviously didn't fall into one of them. You don't like to have intimate relations with older folk, especially older men, that's your preference. It's not like you said "I hate all old crusties just because," you just don't want to go at it with them. If someone thinks that's "ageist," they're reading into it too much.

I'm sorry to hear that he bothered you like that, some people don't understand that "no" means "no" and that's final. If he comes back in do as the ladies do and mention sexual harassment and mention this to your manager (before it happens again, hopefully it doesn't, but yeah) so they know about the situation and can deal with it before it escalates. Sexual harassment is the same no matter what your gender, the offender's gender, or either of your sexual preferences.

[Customer Service Slut]

That is just ugh -shudder- I've been leered at, told to smile (creepily), but no one has ever been so forward, and I am thankful for that. There's something wrong with this guy!

[MMOrpgMom]

Even if you were gay, once someone turns a person down that should be it.

If someone isn't interested, that means quit asking gay or straight. You weren't being anything but professional, however that guy was way out of line.

[Joe the Cigar Guy]

That sounds remarkably like one the "Stings Gone Wrong" bits from "RENO 911".
But seriously, in this age of Internet want-ads, if Lover-Boy can't find somebody to float his boat, he's just not trying!

[NC Tony]

Wow, you showed more self restraint than I would have. When he asked for a kiss after the "considering how much I'm buying" line, I would have gone with "Well, you're not getting one from me". I think when he leaned in for the kiss, I would have backed up at least three steps, twisting my face up to look like I had just eaten something disgusting. Probably adding in a "GAH!" just to get the point across. Hurt feelings be damned, that's just friggin creepy!

[aoirann]

I think my reflex at that point would have been to punch. I can creep out my gay friend despite being straight but I never go any where that far and it's in jest.
/FALCON PUNCH!

[art&amaretto]

Sorry you had to deal with that, Trader Jack. Sexual harassment sucks. When will people learn that persistence in the face of rejection is really fucking callous? "I know what I want from you and I'm going to get it, no matter how you feel about it." Down that road lies rape, pervs.

[Tina]

LOL @ aoirann. You remind me of my brother with the Falcom Punch.

[FriendlyNotFlirty]

@Trsder Jack: I totally know how that goes. I had someone tell me that since they bought so much, I should be able to go home with him...
*shudder* I don't understand how people don't understand "NO means NO"!!!!! Gahhhh!!!!!

[Monster]

Look I don't care gay straight, or whatever it is not okay to hit on someone at their job. It's just not. And to be that pushy about it, is more than just wrong.

[MA_Nightmare]

You hold much more restraint than I do. The moment I get an inkling that a customer makes me uncomfortable, I tell a manager or another associate to handle the transaction. I have no need to deal with someone who makes my skin crawl so I leave it to someone who gets paid much more to deal with it.

[Green Grin]

Stranger danger!

What a creepy fucker. No sale is worth putting up with sexual harassment. Being a prude wins out every time.

[done with drama]

this is what you should have done.

http://youtu.be/8wRXa971Xw0

[Anna]

"I'm being more than co-operative here. I've let you know where I live and I'm not fussing for a discount."

Seriously...WTF????!!!

[MicIan]

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[Amerisleep adjustable beds]

OAP turns to smile at me again, and his smile has noticeably lost its cheery edge and is now looking more like a lecherous smirk.