Old Slavery Nightmare: Christmas Returns and Hellspawn Destruction

Oh RHUers.

It's been crazy.

I must admit I've been a little stressed, what with starting my new interpreting class, taking a motorcycle course, watching a girl have a random seizure in said course and almost die (before you say it - no epilepsy or seizure history. Just a random 22 year old having a seizure. Scared the fucking bejeesus out of me), and then because I was quite shaken, crashing a motorcycle....into my mother. Heh.

BUT I have missed you all, so I'm back to astound you with tales of awful people.
In one recent shift, I was greeting, a slow and hellish ball-breaking task. I'm a fairly good (fake) people person though, so I just smile and wave. This man comes strolling in with an Old Navy bag in one hand and I immediately realize I'm in trouble. His bag has our Christmas design on it. Fuckity fuck fuck.

SirFuckface: Yeah I need to exchange these, they don't fit.

Me: Ok, no problem, do you have a receipt?

SF: Yeah, I got them for Christmas and they're too small. *hands me receipt. Date? Dec. 23*

Me: Ok sir, well unfortunately our return policy only covers 90 days, so we won't be able to exchange this for you *ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS ASSWIPE*

SF: But....I just want to exchange them, not return them!

Me: Yes, well that falls under the return policy.

SF: WHAT?! So what am I supposed to do, just throw them away?!?

Me: No, no don't do that! If you really can't wear them or don't know anyone you can give them to, you could always donate them.

SF: Yeah right, like I'm gonna do that.

That sound you hear at this point is me punching him in the dick in my mind. What a douchenozzle.

He then starts screaming about how he's a regular customer and he's spent tons of money at our store and he'll never come back and FUCK THIS PLACE! Que storming out.
Oook then.

A couple days later I was working my ass off in the fitting rooms, running back and forth cleaning up people's messes (you ever feel like your doing other people's laundry? Ugh, I do.), and just generally busting my ass. A woman comes in with her two children, about age 6 (fraternal twins), we set up a fitting room for each child, and the nightmare begins.

These kids are literally THROWING CLOTHING over the tops of the doors, to the point where shorts were getting caught and I had to use that little hook thing that I think is my Gandalf staff to get them down. There was screaming and children slamming and locking doors, and Mom yelling......my head just reeled.

I thought I was watching the Twilight Zone. Kind of like a train wreck, you can't stop staring.....to which the mom just kept saying "I'm sorry, I have really bad kids".

REALLY LADY? REALLY? WHOSE FAULT IS THAT!? My mother would have beat me like a redheaded stepchild right there in the middle of the store if I acted like such a little beast. It was like a horror film that wouldn't end....

This weekend is the famous $1 flip flop sale. If I survive, and I may not, I'll let you know how it goes.

Love,

--T-Shirt Sponge

Comments

[J.K.]

OOOoooooooo i HATE the 'i come here all the time' and 'i spent $$$$$ in here' crap!!! It's like they think they're intitled to get handled with kid gloves cuz they grace us with their presence. /sigh

Creative Slave

[J.K.]

oops *entitled. lol

[SJ]

I would love to give my kids a good wallop sometimes. God knows they certainly deserve it from time to time...but as much as I could use a vacation I don't relish spending it behind bars.

Now days all you have to do is look at your kid wrong and you have CPS all over your ass like white on rice...insane.

[severus6]

"I have really bad kids." I had my mom blame me for stuff that wasn't my fault on occasion, but this "mother" makes it an art form.

[OYVEH]

"That sound you hear at this point is me punching him in the dick in my mind. What a douchenozzle."

I LOL'd. Excellent line.

[Alison]

policy is policy if you break it for one person, and there's 5 people in line after that person they will expect the same and so on and so forth, I do not believe in giving into customers no matter what! So good job!

[many bells down]

I don't understand why people try that "regular customer" line. I regularly shop at Old Navy too, but I never think anyone there is going to remember me. I certainly don't remember any of the cashiers and there's new people working every time I go in.

[Lab Rat]

There's a $1 flip flop sale? How have I never known this?

Perhaps I'll go to Old Slavery this weekend and buy some... and bring the slaves some cookies.

[Michelle C]

If he was such a regular customer, wouldn't you think he'd been in before now to return said items?

I had horrible kids/parents in one time I was working the kid's section in Chapters. The mom was like "yeah, they're behaving badly, sorry. " Without thinking, I responded "kind of like computer programming, eh? Garbage in...garbage out". I think she was too stunned to say anything and never complained to management. Thank goodness.

[Joe the Cigar Guy]

You have my sincerest sympathies. Gord & Raylor also has 90 day return policy and the range of sob stories people cook up to circumvent it is fucking STAGGERING!

As for the "I shop here all the time" claim, I take a page from my son, the cop. I repeat everything they say back to them in order to clarify their story. Then I ask them, "So if you've shopped here in the mens department on a weekly basis for over 3 years, and I've worked here for 2 years, don't you think it likely we would have met?"

[NC Tony]

I shop at Wal-Mart all the time, and no one says to me "Hey NC Tony how are you?" because THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE SHOP THERE EVERY DAY TOO! By Arkvoodle's Sacred Crotch I hate that line!

"I have really bad kids." Yes, yes you do. So do something about it you fucking idiot! You don't have bad kids, you just suck as a parent. That lady doesn't have bad kids, those kids have a bad mother.

[Book Baby]

<> OMG, I practically hyperventilated reading this line! NC Tony, you DO have a way with words!