Opening Hell Tale: Cheery Dumbass Custy

Heya Heya RHUers! The Dark Lord of Marketing here again with another tale of yester-year custy lunacy. This one wasn’t even crazy-entitlement or sheer bitchiness either, it was just straight up WTF!

In college I worked part time at a local Mom & Pop video store/photo lab. I know, strange combo right? Hey, it worked for them and has successfully been one of the best places I’ve ever worked for!

Being their college boy part-timer, I was the main person working weekends and usually opened the store both Saturday and Sunday, and naturally had they typical routine of coming in an hour to 45 minutes before open to start up the machines and run tests, get the drawer set up, check in the pile of returned videos from overnight, and do any of the cleaning that needs taken care of that’s just absolutely impossible to do with customers present.

The only unfortunate part of this was that the storefront consisted of windows from about knee height to ceiling the width of the store, so if anyone happened to be an early bird they would always see me and assume the store was open. I lost track of how many times I opened early cause a custy was at the door, but it was usually along the lines of ten or fifteen minutes early at the max so it never bothered me much.

Until *she* showed up…

One dark and dreary winter morning when I got in the back door and shut off the alarm system I heard a steady *kthunk* *kthunk* noise that piqued my curiosity, and naturally being the super-courageous and completely invincible 19-year-old that I was I didn’t even think twice about investigating it.

I peered through a crack in a sliding door that separated the stockroom from the sales floor and lo and behold there was a woman at the front door on the outside rhythmically tugging on the locked door.

Like any good retail slave, I didn’t want to have to deal with someone a full hour before I had to so I began running what setup I could do from the back room whilst in a completely dark store.

Now this was a Saturday morning at about 9am, and it was overcast and drizzling so there wasn’t a whole lot of ambient light to fool the eye; it was just a little beyond the level of obvious that there was not a single electric light on in the front of the store, but even after about ten minutes while I counted out the drawer from the back room and loaded all the control strips for the photo processors there was still the steady *kthunk* *kthunk* from out front.

Now I knew I was in trouble, cause the only things I had left to do were in the visible store front, so I sucked up my disdain (which didn’t take too long, I was only 19 so I hadn’t built up anywhere near as much as I have today…) and went out front…

Sure enough, the second the custy saw me through the windows she began waving dramatically to get my attention.

I gave her a quizzical look and made a show of checking my watch while I walked out to the front door, and an even larger-than-necessary show of unlocking the front door, going so far as to purposefully use the wrong key the first time.

I was only going to crack it open and ask if I could help her, but the second it was unlocked she swung it open, said “thank you!” and walked right past me up to the counter and stood patiently, the whole time I’m still standing by the front door staring dumbfounded at her.

She wasn’t making a grab for anything at all, so I trotted back behind the counter and haltingly asked “Can I help you with anything?”

She responded “Sure, I’d like double prints on these,” and nicely set a roll of film on the counter inbetween us, “it’s for {insert forgotten customer name and phone number here}”.

Still being apprehensive, I said “OK, would sometime about 11 o’clock be alright to pick this up? We’re usually not open for another half hour…”

“Certainly, that’s no problem!”

She was even being kinda cheery-sounding, certainly not how I’d be after standing in the cold pulling on a locked door for at least ten minutes, and showing absolutely no confirmation or reaction to the fact that I had just mentioned that we weren’t open for business yet.

She just turned around and started walking back to the front door with a little friendly “I’ll see you then” tossed over her shoulder.

I was still in a state of shock and confusion when she got back to the door, opened it up, and looked back at me to say “By the way, your sign here says ‘Closed’…”

Reeeeeeeeeally lady? The sign tipped you off but the locked door, lack of interior lights, and the fact that the only employee you talked to was still wearing a winter coat didn’t? Really!?!?!

Ah well, at least she wasn’t rude about it. Although it made me wonder exactly what medication cocktail she was on. Till next time!!!

--Dark Lord of Marketing

Comments

[Generic Cashier]

Ah, the kthunk noise. I know it too well. Thankfully I've developed a good sense of "ignore them until the clock says 9:00am". I spend the last 5 or so minutes before we open being completely oblivious to anyone on the other side of the glass, and oh my, it's a lovely way to start the day.

Though, at my current store, we have to enter through the front doors first thing in the morning, where a manager unlocks and lets us in. During the winter, customers can't see our shirts under our jackets. And don't understand WE ARE EMPLOYEES AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE SO GODDAMN EARLY. They get pissed at the opening manager because they can't get in the store at 8 fucking thirty in the morning.

On the other hand, there's the time someone forgot to unlock the doors on the side of the building (we have two entrances).

Bitch Outside (not yet in bitch mode): *kthunk* *kthunk*

Generic Cashier: *checks watch* 9:02? Hmm. *gets on phone obviously visible from the door to find someone to unlock the door*

Bitch Outside: *goes into bitch mode and starts swearing through the door*

Generic Cashier: *retreats into hiding until backup arrives*

D:

[Chicajojobe]

Well on one hand at least she wasn't a bitch, but on the other..wow!

The sign says "closed", the lights are off, the door is locked, and the employee has to bring out the keys to let you in...and none of that tips you off that the place is CLOSED! Really?

[Riferous]

*kthunk* *kthunk* That's the same sound my head makes on my desk.

[WMDKitty]

Whatever she was on, I want some.

[FormerRetailSlave]

When I worked at a mall photo lab, I'd have this kind of thing happen a lot, as the mall doors were open a full 2 hours before the stores, and we had a dropping gate, so customers would yell at you to get your attention, even though the gate was closed, to drop off film.

Generally it wasn't a big deal, the'd pass me the film through the gate and I'd take their name.

The only one that really got on my nerves was a guy who after being kind enough to take his film an hour before opening got pissed at me when I told him it would be two hours before it was done, even after attempting to explain to him that it took about an hour for the machines to be ready before I could even start processing film.

[NC Tony]

I was going to make a comment about how she can't read, but she obviously read the closed sign. So, I'm guessing she was just stupid.

[Katy]

You're a nicer employee than I am! If that was me, I would've walked up to the window so she could see me, smiled politely, pointed to the Closed sign, and carried on with my pre-opening tasks.

I used to work at a popcorn store in a mall. Once, I was out front cleaning the display glass a half hour before opening. A lady walks by and asks if she can get popcorn. I told her we weren't open for another half hour yet, and she cheerfully replied, "Oh, that's okay. I don't mind yesterday's popcorn."

[OfficeDrone]

When I worked at Asda (Walmart in the UK) I was based on Rotisserie and could see the entrance from the counter. On a Sunday morning we opened at 11am, but staff would be there from 9 setting up etc. We didn't get *thnk*ers, but instead an ever-increasing crowd of people gathered around the doors like a patient zombie horde. We always hated having to set up with all those eyes on us. When we opened it was like the gates of Hell had burst. *shudders*

[Book Baby]

We have the "herd" waiting at or doors too. We have to come in the same door and people sometimes try to follow us in. I have come to say, "Good morning! We will be open in ten (or whatever) minutes!" and shutting the door behind me.

They then stand around and gripe at how we aren't open as much as we used to be (ever heard of budget cuts?)and how we never seem to be busy! REALLY? Let me introduce you to my little friend, Carpal Tunnel. Another coworker has another friend, Bad Elbow and a third has her friend, Hurting Shoulder. These "friends" are visiting because of how busy we are and we are even busier because there are fewer people doing the work.

Once we open, we have to stand back or be trampled by the throngs rushing to get to the computers. Once school is out, it's even worse.

[Amerisleep adjustable beds]

around and gripe at how we aren't open as much as we used to be (ever heard of budget cuts?)and how we never seem to be busy! REALLY? Let me