Someone seen it on CL and posted it here where they thought it would be much more appreciated. Humor_me had commented on my post which came through my email stating how much she enjoyed it.
Having no idea who this was, I sent her back an email asking who they were. She in turn replied something that I can't remember, which made me send back the original email I received from her....then the rays of sunshine spewed through the clouds of darkness and she showed me the light to RHU.
No more will I be flagged because someone thought what I said was "dirty" or "belligerent" or was just down right being an asshole. Now I will be openly embraced for the things that have been fighting to come out of my mouth about those inconsiderate, ungrateful, no bath takin', too small a shirt wearin', no toilet manner havin' ingrate gluttons that call themselves customers.
If I had only known......you can call me KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) I work at a 24hr store that I'll call the Big M.
Now at the Big M, we sell all kinds of stuff...grocery stuff, clothes stuff, housewares stuff, outdoor stuff....you get the picture.
One night as I was walking down to the end of an aisle I heard an older man ask "can u's helps me?"
KISS:" What cha need?"
OM: "Where's da toofesses pace adt?"
KISS: "The what??"
KISS: (in my head) "What in the FUCK is this guy saying?"
KISS: "One more time sir."
OM: "DA! TOOF!-FESS!-ES! PACE!!! Where's id adt?"
KISS: "Sir, I have NO clue what you're saying."
OM: "You know...toofesses pace, the stuff u brush u teefesses wif!"
KISS: "TOOTH paste?!?!"
OM: "Yeah!! Das what id said!"
KISS: "Well, the TOOTH paste is over in aisle 4 of health and beauty care, across from the TOOTH brushes."
OM:" You ack like u neva hurd dat wurd bafore!"
KISS:" Sir, I know them as TOOTH and TEETH, not TOOFESSES and TEEFESSES. Is there anything else you need help finding?"
OM:" Nope, das id."
Really? I almost went and got someone else to try to help me interpret what this guy was saying. I don't even think he had enough teefesses in his mouth to need toofesses pace., That's just one of the stories that I have collected in my noggin over the last 27 years.
This was just a mild story to tell so I could loose my writing virginity on RHU. Thanks to humor-me, I can come here and share with others my encounters with these ass necks.
Thank you humor-me!!