My lovely boyfriend and I almost got into a fight the other day, (Saturday, the 13th) at Splish Splash -- if you’ve never heard of it, it’s Long Island’s most famous water park -- with a group of miscreant young “adults.” Here’s how it went down.
First, people were basically being giant doucheholes all day. Both the adults and kids alike contained absolutely no respect or consideration for anyone but themselves. Splashing and kicking in the wave pool, standing in big circles on the smallest walkways inevitably taking up the whole damn thing so no one can get through, walking through the paths like they owned the damn place and refusing to move over for ANYONE, you get the idea. Three separate incidents royally pissed me off.
Incident Number One:
Giant House Girl (GHG) messing around with friends in wave pool. Guy friends chasing her, trying to dunk her, whatever. I am facing my boyfriend, which placed GHG to my left side and slightly behind me, about 15 feet away. I now could no longer see her.
Out of nowhere, this bitch BARRELS INTO ME at full fucking speed from trying to run away from her idiot friends. She’s a beach whale, and I have a 5ft frame. If I wasn’t in a pool, I would have fallen on the ground, HARD, and possibly gotten seriously hurt. And just so we all know and before I get hell in a handbasket thrown back in my face for the comments made about her, I have friends who are overweight. I don’t care what you look like, as long as you’re a decent human being. If you’re an asshole, then my frustration with your existence will come out in whatever form it chooses.
So, after the initial shock and regaining my composure, which took about .5 seconds, she continued passed me, without apologizing, and ignored that it even happened.
Do I just let it go? Of course not.
I yell, “DON’T EVEN SAY SORRY!”
She still ignored me. Bitch.
Incident Number Two:
It was the middle of the day, and it was time for some grub. After paying and finding a spot, about ten minutes later, the group at the table next to us starts screaming at the top of their lungs and jumping around like morons because a bee (seriously, why do people do that?! Even if you’re allergic, that’s not going to help you.) was flying around.
One girl is still screaming and swatting her shoe in the air, and at this point the bee had already flown away to some less annoying people. They all decided to move one table over (like that would help) and continue to eat, acting traumatized, like they had just been taunted and threatened by the number-one minion of all evil Satan-spawned Godzilla bees.
They finish eating before us, and promptly get up and walk away, LEAVING THEIR DIRTY MESSES EVERYWHERE. On both fucking tables. Trays, napkins, crumbs, sodas, and OPEN ketchup packets, squirted ON the tables, left there for the poor clean-up crew slaves to deal with instead. GRRRRR.
Incident Number Three: This one had me in a rage for the rest of the day. The lines were so long, that we barely got to go on any rides, so we headed for the one I REALLY wanted to do the whole day, called Alien Invasion, with an hour to go before the park closed.
We arrive at the end of the line, and a few more people file up behind us in little wave increments. After already waiting fifteen minutes or so, some girl and boy makes their way through from the back saying “Excuse me, excuse me,” and passes us. Okay, fine, MAYBE they are looking for someone so they can leave or something.
A few minutes later, a grown woman does the same thing and makes her way through, with her monstrous daughter not far behind. There was a group of about six kids directly in front of us, not more than eight or nine years old. Alone. With no parents or supervision.
After watching the last three people go through the line, they follow suit, and weave their way through a ton of people ahead of us. Now ten people have cut the line, making the rest of us wait longer, and the park was closing soon.
Two Amazon girls behind us, taller than my boyfriend, who is 6’2”, sneak their way in front of us, then like follow-the-fucking-leader, “excuse” themselves further up. They got at least 100 people in front of where they were originally.
“This is bullshit,” I said, not caring who heard me.
Not five minutes later, a Short Bitchy Girl (SBG) behind my boyfriend says, “Excuse me,” with four other people in tow. Here’s how the rest of it went down:
He turns to her and asks, “Where are you going?”
SBG: “To my family, right up there.” ::points::
Boyfriend: “I just had like 20 people cut us; I’m not letting anybody else go ahead of me.”
SBG: “What are you gonna do about it?”
Boyfriend: ::stands in front of her, holding out his arms so she can’t pass::
SBG then SHOVES her away passed him, further pissing me off.
Boyfriend turns to the next Asshole Guy (AG) trying to follow and said the same thing to him.
Boyfriend: “Dude, listen, this isn’t right, we just had 20 people cut us, and--”
::starts shoving through::
Me, to SBG now shoving passed me: “What the hell makes you so special that you can cut the line?”
SBG: “My brother is right there, I’m just going to my family.”
Me: “So? What the hell’s your point? We all have to wait in line, too.”
SBG ignores me and continues on, and friends follow. Me, clearly pissed off, yelling so they can all hear me: “I guess we’ve forgotten our MANNERS learned in KINDERGARTEN. Maybe you should go back!”
They all ignored me, of course. Fuckin‘ pricks. Because of all of them, it was fifteen minutes to closing before we even got to the bottom of the very tall stairway to even get up to the ride, and we knew we weren’t going to make it, so we left.
The rule of the park is that if anyone gets caught cutting, they get kicked out for the rest of the day. But of course no one was there watching. Then, as we were walking back through the parking lot, there was litter EVERYWHERE. That’s one of my BIGGEST “pet peeves.” I cannot fucking stand filthy, lazy pigs who can’t take three fucking seconds out of their lives to walk to the nearest garbage can and USE IT. And they were stationed EVERY FIFTEEN FEET in the parking lot. SERIOUSLY?!?! UGH!
We’ve decided we need to move away and live in isolation from the general public. In conclusion, I HATE PEOPLE!
Thank you and good night/day/afternoon/morning.