Joe gets a Retail Balls Award for standing up to ridiculous Discount Rat who threw a tantrum and played the race card. Our man Joe did not back down:
Hello all!
No set-up today, just the dialogue...
Me: "Did you find everything you needed, sir?"
Custy: "Yeah, sure did. This is a pretty good sale you're having."
- "Yeah, we're trying to clear out all the summer stock to make room."
- "That's 60% and a extra 20% off, right?"
- "Yes sir, with the coupon."
- "Well, I don't HAVE the coupon. I still get the 20% off, right?"
- "Well if you don't have the coupon, do you have texting on your cellphone?"
- "Yeah, why?"
- "Great! Just text the word "SALE" to the number ***** and you'll get a code that I can enter here at the register that'll save you the 20%."
- "That sounds like a lot of work. Look, I've been shopping here for years. Just do whatever it is you do to take off the 20."
- "It'll just take a few seconds, sir, and you'll get the codes for future sales too without having to clip coupons."
- "You know what? This is bullshit! I'm the CUSTOMER here!"
- "Yes you are, but-"
- "I'm going to go to another register and you can bet your ass THEY'LL give me the 20!"
(So he grabbed his stuff and stormed off. Ten minutes later, he's back.)
- "THEY gave me the discount, SMART GUY! What do ya' think of THAT?"
- "I think: good-for-YOU."
- "You know what? You're an ASSHOLE! I bet you would have given me the discount, no questions asked, if I was WHITE!"
- "You want to get RACIAL with this now?"
- "You goddamn RIGHT I want to get racial! You know what? Take off that fancy suit jacket and we can settle this outside right NOW!"
- "What are we, back in HIGH SCHOOL now? You think we're gonna go throw down in the parking lot? Are you INSANE?"
- "NO I'm NOT!"
- "Well you MUST be if you think I'm gonna fight because YOU didn't have a COUPON!"
- "You're a racist ASSHOLE! I WILL be back and I WILL kick your ass!
- "I'll be right here."
So, he left in a huff. Actually he left in a minute and a huff.
The best part: the head of Loss Prevention was standing about 12 feet away the whole time. He told me, "If he comes back, call me IMMEDIATELY."
I'm getting too OLD for this shit!
...and the dance goes on.
Peace.
--Joe the Cigar Guy
Too much work to text the word "sale" to a five digit number? Ooh, having to hit nine buttons, ten if count the send button. How dare you try to make him do all that hard work for 20%!
Posted by: NC Tony | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 02:03 PM
That's where I'd like to see someone come over and say "I'm a black belt." And just knock the dumb right out of that fucker.
Posted by: Burger Bitch | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 02:21 PM
I'll bet you 50ยข that either someone had a spare coupon or they told him the same thing at the other register and *GASP!* he texted the code for the coupon and got his discount but was too embarrassed to tell you. What an asshole. I'd bet more, but I don't have it. Do you take pennies?
Posted by: Humor_Me | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 03:11 PM
Text 4 numbers? But that's so much work and I might get a thumb cramp! WAAAAAAAAH! I bet you wouldn't make a WHITE customer text 4 whole numbers!
Posted by: Chicajojobe | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 03:13 PM
LOL, seriously? Custys are so lazy anymore, except when it suits them!
Posted by: trekkiebabe31 | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 04:29 PM
Nice to know Loss Prevention will have your back when you need it. Poor Joe. We all must attract the crustys, huh?
Posted by: Fellow Slave | Thursday, September 15, 2011 at 04:44 PM
Poor Joe :( I wonder why the sane people attract the CRAZYYY FUCKERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (I can use proper grammar, but the extra Y's are a necessity in describing the fuckers ;])
Also, if he was texting already, why not just text and get the coupons???????
/I think my brain exploded from the stupidity...
Posted by: FriendlyNotFlirty | Friday, September 16, 2011 at 01:24 AM
"Actually he left in a minute and a huff."
I see what you did there! Good on you for not sinking to his level.
Posted by: BassLady | Friday, September 16, 2011 at 05:29 AM
When I told a co-worker about this, she said, "I KNOW that guy! He goes from friendly to psycho in two seconds AND plays the race card every time!"
Two pats on the head to the person who can identify the "minute and a huff" reference.
Posted by: Joe the Cigar Guy | Friday, September 16, 2011 at 06:30 AM
And what customers like Mr. Asshole don't seem to realize is that it takes longer for them to throw a fit than it would to text for the coupon, or find their receipt, or sign the freaking paper.
Posted by: Malmart Peon | Friday, September 16, 2011 at 06:41 AM
I don't have anything useful to add, but Joe, I have to salute you for "a minute and a huff." Now you've got me cruising down memory lane, and I suspect my afternoon is going to be devoted to YouTube videos....
Posted by: Shannah | Friday, September 16, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Damn, Joe...If you weren't such a racist asshole, maybe more cheap ass motherfuckers could reap the benefits of not having to fulfill the same discount requirements as everyone else. It's dudes like you who are holding the fuckwads of the world down.
Posted by: Terry Everton | Saturday, September 17, 2011 at 12:48 AM