The Real Housewives of Military Groupies Sending Their Husbands To The Poor House

What’s happening RHU?

We’ve all heard of rock groupies (I’m sure Justin Bieber is learning his lesson about paternity suits), sports groupies (Basketball Wives anyone?). Well there is a groupie in just about every organization including the military. Military groupies? Whoever heard of such a thing? Basically, these are your run of the mill gold diggers from small towns who flash their cans at every base hoping to trap a soldier husband. Thus, this is where this story takes place.

Now before I begin, let me give you an insight into my background. I’m a former Navy brat. My dad was in the Navy and we were shuffled around before he retired and settle in one location. I have relatives serving in the army and currently stationed overseas in Afghanistan and the Middle East so it is in my blood to support the troops. My brother in law is a former Marine who also has friends serving so I’ve been closely reading and watching what happens with the government’s plans to bring the soldiers home next year. With that said, I’ve been fed numerous stories of these so called military groupies but I’ve never seen one up close. It is kind of like the Loch Ness Monster, you might never see one but you know it might exist!

This brings me to my story. My sister’s BFF works in a government sponsored retail store on one of the bases in the credit union department and deals with approving loans and financing credit availability to soldiers and their military families for big ticketed retail items like furniture, electronics, or fine jewelry. BFF shares tons of crazy stories of military custys but the ones she reveals are the military groupie wives that come in that add that special touch of wackiness to retail hell. Here’s how it went down.

BFF was manning the credit desk when Military Groupie Wife comes in. Military Groupie Wife is dressed to the nines, dripping in jewelry, sporting a designer handbag, and had enough plastic surgery to make Joan Rivers look normal.

BFF then looks at the three hellspawns she drags in and gasps. THEY LOOKED DIRTY! Food stuck to their t-shirts, dirt on their faces, clothes not laundered with holes. They looked like the could be poster kids for Child Protective Services. As the three hellspawns start beating the crap out of each other, Military Groupie Wife ignores them and approaches BFF’s desk.

"Hello, I need to upgrade my credit by $4000 because I want to trade in my diamond earrings for bigger ones," she tells BFF.

"Let me see what I can do," replies BFF who checks her computer. Meanwhile, dirty hellspawns are destroying the office and Military Groupie Wife is doing nothing about it.

"I’m sorry but the extension on the credit offered is only for $1000. Three months ago we extended your credit by $5000 and you’re already exceeded that amount," BFF tells the custy.

"Oh it’s okay," Military Groupie Wife tells her. "Just let them have raise it up another $4000. My husband’s credit is good. That shouldn’t be a problem."

"Well I have to make some calls because they are only allowing up to $1000 only," informs BFF.

BFF calls the main branch office and is put on hold. During this time hellspawns are hurting each other and Military Groupie Wife is not lifting a finger to break it up. The main branch finally gets in touch with the husband who is the main account holder and puts him on the line.

"Hello General sir, I apologize for bothering you at work but your wife is here and wants to raise your credit limit another $4000 and we calling you for approval," BFF tells him.

"TELL HER NO!" the General husband states. "SHE’S PUTTING ME INTO THE POOR HOUSE! SHE’S ALREADY PUTTING ME IN DEBT! THE ANSWER IS NO!"

BFF explains this to the custy but Military Groupie Wife is not having it and grabs the phone.

"LISTEN I WANT THOSE EARRINGS!" She yells at her husband. "I NEED BIGGER EARRINGS! THE ANSWER IS YES! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! I DESERVE NICE THINGS!"

Discovering that she is not going to get her way hangs up the phone. BFF is stunned and confused.

"Just ignore him," the Military Groupie Wife tells BFF. "Just raise it up anyway."

"I’m sorry but since he is main account holder, he has to approve the credit increase so my hands are tied and we won’t be able to grant your request," explains BFF.

"BUT I’M THE WIFE! I’M TELLING YOU TO RAISE UP THAT CREDIT! YOU CAN DO SOMETHING!" the custy screeches.

"I’m sorry but no we can’t," BFF responds.

"Fine!" snaps Military Groupie Wife. "I’ll take my business elsewhere. There are other credit unions that will grant me an increase." She grabs her hellspawns and leaves in a huff.

Sadly, I’m familiar with scenarios like these all to well. I deal with credit situations at my job and I can’t begin to tell you how many soldiers return overseas and discover that their wives (soon to be ex-wives) have ran up their credit and put them in debt while they were away fighting. It is even sadder when a groupie gets in the mix and ruins these poor guys’ lives. What is the world coming to?

--Queer Geek

 

Comments

[KittyKatzchen]

As a Devil Dame(Marine Wife), I had to pause several times to take deep breaths before I could continue to read this. In the Marine Corps, women like this are known as Dependapotamuses. http://terminallance.com/2010/08/06/terminal-lance-56-myths-and-legends-ii-the-dependapotamus/

I hate them with a passion I generally reserve for drunk crustys. These are also the same women who think that just because their husband is, say, a Master Guns, they can step on a poor Corporal's Wife. You do not wear your husband's rank, bitches, and just because you suck his cock doesn't mean you're entitled to shit.

[Permafacepalm]

Great story and all but...did you imply Bieber was rock?

[MahiMahi]

That's horrible. It seems she is spending all the cash on herself rather than the children as well.

[NC Tony]

Why do I get the feeling those kids are going to grow up resenting mommy and siding with daddy on EVERYTHING? That's if he even stays married to her.

[Red Rider]

That's awful! I can't stand women like that. I had a friend go away to Iraq when the war first started. His girlfriend at the time talked him into marrying her before he left so she could get all his benefits and whatnot, then the bitch cheated on him the whole time he was gone while living off of his money. So much rage.

[Queer Geek]

I want to point out that situations like these are rarity but I feel you when you come across people who look upon our soldier boys as meal tickets. This just pisses me off!

[MMOrpg]

Don't our soldiers still have to pay for things such as bullet proof vests and what not? Is living within ones means really so hard to do?

[Spritzy]

Eew. What a disgusting example of a human being.

[Chicajojobe]

Ugh, I know the types!

They were the ones who would raise hell about the fact that we didn't have a military discount at my store.

Plus, outside of the complete lack of morality in it, trying to gold dig from someone in the military just seems like a remarkably bad plan considering how many have ended up homeless since returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.

[Nocturnesthesia]

What a piece of shit. No wonder why misogyny is still so widespread.

[MouseMastered]

Seriously? I hope the general soon sees her as the collateral damage that she is and sends that bitch packing.

[Kettle]

I'm an Army wife myself and we have women similar to that. Only we don't call them "groupies". Nonono those are the wives of the butter bars and other Officers. They're just upgraded versions of the women that marry the poor naive fuzzy Privates for their money, cheat on them and spend all their money while they're deployed. I hate these women with a fiery passion. I feel slightly protective of our lower rank guys since my husband knows most of them because he is the Armorer and everyone has to go to him to get a gun. You don't know how many times my husband has brought home some poor sod going through a rough time at his home thanks to his fake wife. I've been told some insanely horrible stories by these poor guys. The worst part to me is how they treat these men while they're deployed. The poor guys think they have a supportive loving wife waiting for them back home. They NEED their wife to be supportive. And they come home to utter horror instead. The guys that have real wives come home half broken as it is so you can imagine the pain the guys go through when they come home and their "wife" has cheated on them with everything that walks and spent all their money. Sickens me...

[ScanGunMonkey]

@KittyKatzchen

fuckin' a...PREACH IT SISTAH! *raises arms*

[Queer Geek]

You go girl!

[trekkiebabe31]

That's awful! We get military guys in our store all the time and give them a discount, I haven't encountered any of these lovely groupies but they sound horrible.

[BeckyM]

When I worked in retail, I got tons of military wives coming in asking "do you have a military discount?" When we told them we did not, the self righteousness popped out. Granted, nothing compared to your story, but I always noticed it was the spouses that threw the fit rather than the military personnel themselves (It was nice to rant about that, normally bringing up that antidote gets me the stink eye, as coming even close to anything less than idolizing military - including gold digging spouses - seems to make one a heretic these days).

[Chicajojobe]

@BeckyM,

Yep! I experienced the exact same thing!
People who were actually in the military, men or women, seemed to just have the attitude of 'can't hurt to ask' which I had no problem with.

However, the wives were inevitably the ones who would give the the stink eye when I said 'no' or would say something really condescending. 0nce after I said "I'm sorry we don't" one woman said to me "DON'T say you're sorry or you'll HAVE to give it to me!" whatever the hell that means.
I'm not sure if military husbands are better, or if I just never encountered any.

[Humor_Me]

My grandfather was in WWII. My grandmother raised my mother all by herself while my grandfather was away. My aunt didn't come until 7 years later. You can bet that my grandmother didn't walk into a store demanding a discount just because she was a military wife. As a matter of fact, I got to see some of the ration tickets they had saved.

Things have gotten way too easy for this generation. Cell phones, mp3 players, digital tvs, 24 hour convenience stores, home computers, online shopping. Everybody feels entitled. I believe its going to take another war on our soil to make people realize that things aren't so easy. Let's just hope its slow-walking zombies that are easily killed in the first wave.

[Queer Geek]

I'm waiting for 2012 or when the aliens attack!

[Llew]

I know I'm a little late to the comment party, but as a former military (Navy) wife, I saw plenty of this. The worst case was when one of the young men on my husband's ship went and married a girl he'd only known for about 3 months, and made the HUGE mistake of giving her a general POA while he was out on BaltOps (despite nearly everyone he spoke to about this telling him it was an AWFUL idea - in fact, my own husband only gave me POA for taxes while he was out at sea, so I could file our joint return myself). He discovered while they were out that she'd stopped his payments to the ship's ATM, and he couldn't correct it because there are no Navy Fed Credit Unions overseas (so now he's out for 3 months and shit broke). That was his first hint something was wrong. When the ship got back, he discovered that he was now poor and homeless.

She'd used the POA to take his name off of HIS Navy Fed account, gotten into his savings and wiped his inheritance from his grandparents, sold his $300,000 house that was part of the inheritance, and disappeared.

Like I said, that was a worst-case-scenario come to pass, but I've certainly seen the other behaviours too - the Wives at the NEX/PAX pitching a fit because they can't have what they want while their hellspawn play catch with the $300 bottle of perfume, or the ones that whine because the military discount isn't good enough (or there isn't one), things like that.

Actually, there was a Navy Wives group from my husband's ship where the wives would get together and make bets on who could sleep with what guy first, trade secrets on how to cheat without getting caught, trade how many guys they'd all slept with, etc. Made me sick. I had almost no friends in Virginia thanks to the awful wives there.

Makes me feel bad for all the guys out there who don't think they can do better than these awful, ugly women.