Burger Bitch's Disabled Hellspawn Encounter and Revenge of A Douchebag Custy In The Drive-Thru

Before I get into the story that was my most recent week, I have some news.

My store was robbed while I was away on my trip. My part closes at 8 PM, bus the gas station is open 24h. One of my favourite coworkers was working when two men came in, placed knives on the counter and demanded the money. I’m not too sure of the details, but I know they came behind the counter and took all the money that was in the safe. One of my good friends works on that side and she worked the shift after the robbery.

Obviously, she was the first one there after it happened, I guess she basically jumped out of her car the second she saw Amazing!Girl sitting in the cop cruiser sobbing. My friend was able to watch the tape, and when she tried to tell me the details, she started crying. I’m not even sure if I want to hear what happened, I haven’t heard from Awesome!Girl and she called in for the rest of the week. They did apprehend the men though, since they were dumb enough to try to rob another store right down the street (And steal all the rolled coin, try to look nonchalant carrying all that, dumbasses). Fucking assholes, I hope they get tied to some train tracks. I just really hope that Awesome!Girl is ok. That’s definitely a terrifying thing to have to go through.

And now, the most recent realization I have come to in my life. I don’t hate children (Well, ok, I do a little) it’s the idiotic dickbag parents who can’t pry themselves away from themselves to control their larvae while in public.

Let’s set the scene;

I worked the day before I left for my trip and instead of dragging my giant suitcase to work then to my boyfriend’s, I just dropped it off at his house before I went to work. Unfortunately, I also dropped off my wallet with it, which meant that I had no money for food, and my boyfriend started work an hour after me, so he wasn't able to bring my wallet to me. However, one of my amazing managers made cookies and she left me two before she was finished her shift. They weren’t giant cookies or anything, but they looked delicious and I figured they would hold me over until the end of my shift when I could get some lunch.

Since we don’t have breaks, we have a small counter where we keep our food and our drinks so we can just eat whenever we get hungry. It’s lower than the front counter and a bit to the side. Customers can see it, but it’s behind the napkin holder and straws and such. It was very busy that day so my manger was in the back doing the second bake, ergo, we didn’t have a lot of donuts left. My coworker and I were shooting the shit when the son ran up and demanded a donut.

I told him that the only ones we had left were the plain… And this is where it all goes to hell.

I had my cookies sitting on top of the paper bag they were in, I was literally about to eat them before they came in. This little fucking shithead proceeds to half climb over the fucking counter, grab them and shoves one in his fat little fucking face. I had no fucking idea what to do, I just stood there in shock that a fatass child would actually do this! Then I started thinking that it was another 6 hours before I could have any fucking food and I was hungry as tits.

That’s what the dad wandered over and asked me how much the cookies were. I fucking lost it.

Me: “Those were mine! They’re not for sale! Your child just ate one, that was my entire lunch!”

Fucknose: “Oh, well, he didn’t eat the other one.”

Me: ‘SO!? I DON’T KNOW WHERE HIS HANDS HAVE BEEN, IT’S GOING TO BE THROWN OUT NOW! HE JUST CLIMBED OVER THE COUNTER AND TOOK THEM!”

Fucknose: “Well, he has a learning disability.”

And he just left it at that, he grabbed his shit-for-brains child and left. I was so angry that I could have sworn I shat out tiny versions of Satan.

But this is what pissed me off even more (Ok, not really, I wanted those fucking cookies), my coworker defended the shit!

Her: “Well, the father did say he has a learning disability.”

Me: “SO!? I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FIDDLER’S ASSHOLE! I FUCKING HATE PARENTS. YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN. FUCK!”

Her: “You should have a heart.”

And then my head exploded and my ghost is typing this.

Now, a small story of revenge!

I was working with the new woman a few days ago. I love her SO much, I trained her a few weeks ago when she first started and she actually caught on! SHE'S SMART AND FUNNY AND I LOVE HER. Plus, she called work the day before my trip, just to tell me to have a good time. How sweet is that!?

Anyways, this giant fucking asshole comes through the Drive Thru and before I can even open my mouth to ask "Hi, how may I help you?" He shouts "HELLO!? HELLLOOOOO!?"

My coworker and I share a look of "What the fucking fuck?" then she asks if she can help him. The man specifically asked for a medium regular and a large regular, then drove up before either of us could ask "Is that everything?"

Of course he was a rich asshole driving a brand new Mercedes. Only the assholes have decent money, right? I prepared the coffees, but when I went to hand them out, the guy said "The medium is decaf, right!?" Keep in mind he absolutely did NOT ask for a decaf. He only asked for a medium and a large regular. I apologized and handed him the large and told him that I would fix the medium.

But then he starts bitching to the passenger "I can't believe these people find jobs! How the fuck can you fuck up a cup of coffee!? What a dumb bitch! I just wanted decaf!" Then I heard the passenger say "You didn't ask for decaf.." The asshole kept ranting saying that "they should know what I want anyways! Normal coffee keeps me awake all night and gives me terrible stomach pains!" So I turned around and poured a decaf coffee.. But handed him out the same normal coffee I set down. HA! Take that asshole.

Him: "This is decaf, right!?"

Me: "Yup! Have a great day! =D"

My coworker looked at me and said "If you didn't do that, I would have."

I hope the fucker died.

--Burger Bitch

 

Comments

[Soft Ice Girl]

I love the faxt that you use the word "larvae" for hellspawn :)

[hiya]

I'm a mom to a kid with a million abbreviations for diagnoses . What you described is one of my biggest pet peeves. A disability is no excuse for bad manners and entitlement. These kids are going to grow up and go into the big bad world thinking they can act any way they want because mommy and daddy won't say no to their special snowflake. My kid used to try and pull that crap with me and it ended pretty quickly because we didn't put up with it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Token Female]

Uh... so what learning disability does he have? It must be "mommy and daddy spoil me rotten so the rest of the world has to do it too"-itis or something like that. Sounds like daddy has a learning disability too - probably "I'll throw money at my problems since that's totally going to fix them all."

>.> I honestly hate people like that. With the exception of my cousin (who's a special snowflake), none of the friends or classmates I know who have learning disabilities or abbreviated various diagnoses were raised without manners as a result. That, however, probably comes from their parents, who actually all gave a fuck about how their children behaved in public and didn't have more money than brains.

[MMOrpg]

I agree with Token, How exactly is bad manners a learning disability?

His father would have to TEACH him in the first place and from your story he said absolutely nothing to the kid.

[cashykat]

Yeah that brat so didn't have a learning disability. For example, an autistic child wouldn't first ask for a doughnut. He would have went right for the cookie.

[many bells down]

Okay let's say, for the sake of argument, that said hellspawn has some sort of learning disability that makes him grab cookies. Tollhouseitis. Whatever.

This does not absolve daddy dearest from the responsibility of putting right what his child maims and destroys. My stepson was developmentally delayed because of a food allergy. One day he flung open the car door in a parking lot and put a huge dent in the car next to us. It was a business vehicle, so it had a sign on it with a phone number - which I promptly called to give them my information.

Chocolatechiposis there only learned that he can eat whatever looks tasty. My kid learned that we don't open car doors that way.

[The Kid]

Uh, hate to be the victim-blamer here, but I'm going to anyway. I know you heard the douche obviously say it only gave him stomach pains and nothing serious, but there are some people who really need their coffee to be decaf.
My uncle is serverely developmentally disabled and he gets aggresive if he has caffene, but he LOVES coffee. So my grandmother is always insisting the coffee is decaf and I see the coffee-slaves rolling their eyes, but she lives alone with him. He doesn't know any better than to push and shove when he gets angry or upset.
So, yeah, this guy completely deserved it, but be careful when you do this.

But the kid was definitely a spoiled brat. Completely agree.

[carotte]

@The Kid,
I guess when you have to special order something for health reasons, you actually order the right thing! and if you've forgotten you take the high road, apologize, and are glad the waiter will re-do your order without charging you more.

[ScanGunMonkey]

Jeeeeeez....my cousin used to work as a TA in a middle school's special ed. classes...and that was something they tried real hard to teach the kids. "You'll only get the same treatment as the rest of the students if you can prove that you can handle it. You'll only get treated like a grownup when you act like one." And so on...they had a lot of success, as long as the parents didn't fuck it up once the kid was home.

[Former Healthcare Slave]

I have special dietary needs as well. I don't consider "being awake all night" one of them. That said I always ask for decaf. or if this or that is on the item I order. If I forget my problem. If there is an error I politely ask if there is some way to correct it. I do not yell at anyone. Why would I want to piss off the person(s) dealing with my food?!?!

Hellspawn could have a disability. But not having manners isn't a disability. Apparently, in this case it's genetic.

[LabRat]

Yeah, I have little ones (cousins) that actually have learning disabilities. It may take longer for them to understand some things, but unless they are severely delayed, they can all understand basic manners. And none of them would ever get away with climbing over a counter and taking someone else's property. In fact, none of them would get up the counter because my aunts would have immediately gone into action and gotten hold of them (and if they some how had not, you can believe they would have apologized profusely and upon hearing that was your lunch, have bought you something to eat. It's the filipina way to feed everybody) If you know your child has behavorial problems, you're suppose to watch them, not just shrug off their vices. Just because they have trouble learning doesn't mean you give up on teaching them altogether. How are they suppose to try and have any sort of normal life with the attitude that they are "sick" so they should never try anything and everyone needs to give in to their demands?

I could smack that Dad in the fucking face. Nice move with the coffee. I cannot stand when people talk down to people in the drive through. I'm sorry that some of us have lives and need to get by with whatever job we can get. Not all of us get the proverbial silver spoon in our mouthes. Keep sane!

[MuSicko]

Even if Mr. DollarBillsForUnderpants has a big dietary restriction on caffeine that will kill him (giving him serious benefit of the doubt here), then he should have been certain to get his order correct the first time. If it was of life-or-death importance that he have decaf, trust and believe he'd have had a better attitude about it, and made it PERFECTLY clear. Since he didn't, and was an ass to boot, it's within your rights to show him whatfer by giving him regular. And anyway, decaf coffee still has a smidge of caffeine. He presumably is not gonna die with some extra.

[Grendus the Self Check Guy]

If it's life or death that you have decaf, why the fuck would you order coffee in the first place? Even a well meaning coffee slave could accidentally give you regular coffee, you'd be better off sticking to water/lemonade. Guy was a douche, he got what he deserved.

[NC Tony]

I'm jumping on the boat of the brat's disability is AES (Asshole Entitlement Syndrome). It's a genetic condition handed down from the parents. It's usually accompanied by stupidity, lack of manners, and lack of common sense.

I thought of two things you should have done (along with the yelling of course):
#1:
When the father asked how much the cookies were you should have told him they were ten bucks, but since the kid just took them instead of asking they were twenty dollars.

#2:
Burger Bitch: "SO!? I DON’T KNOW WHERE HIS HANDS HAVE BEEN, IT’S GOING TO BE THROWN OUT NOW! HE JUST CLIMBED OVER THE COUNTER AND TOOK THEM!”
You should have taken the other cookie and tossed it to the kid, but just out of his reach so it fell on the floor and therefore inedible.

Fucknose: “Well, he has a learning disability.”

Burger Bitch: "Rudeness is not a learning disability."

And to your coworker who defended the little shit.

Her: “You should have a heart.”

Burger Bitch: "I'd rather have my cookies."

Personally I hope the little bastard choked on it.

And see the Slaves Wish List 2011 to see how to deal with the asshole in drive through.

[Chicajojobe]

The coffee thing goes both ways. At Starbucks I always ask for drinks without whipped cream because it tends to give me painful stomach cramps. Half the time, though, the drink comes out with whipped cream on it. I always feel bad about sending it back, but I did ask for it without so I'm not really sure what more I can do there.

The story about the kid drives me insane. It isn't what the kid or even the dad did that pissed me off the most it was what your co-worker said!
First of all learning disability is different than intellectual disability, though I can well see the dad not being smart enough to know the difference. However, even if he meant intellectual disability, I don't know anyone who works with special needs children who would say that they should not be taught rules and boundaries for interacting with others...if anything they'd say it's just as important as for normal children, if not more important.
Her saying 'you should have a heart' really makes me want to punch someone in the face. I think because I've had moments like that when I'm made to feel like an unfeeling robot by people who don't realize that pity isn't the same thing as real empathy!

[ShipsALot]

The poor kid's "learning disability" is probably that dad won't teach him anything, and thus can't learn... (only slightly sarcastic)

As for your coworker, she only said you should have a heart because they weren't her cookies.

I work in a building with a developmental school on the bottom floor, and whenever I see any of the kids in the building cafe, sure they might be a bit socially awkward (stare at you, stand in the way, etc) but they understand how to order food, pay for it, and even clean up after themselves. They also understand if the cafe is out of something, oh well, get something else. Or if there's something they want but can't afford, oh well. They're ok, so dad has no excuse.

[KitschBitch]

Having grown up with kids with learning and intellectual disabilities, I can say you are totally in the right here. Just because your spawn has something-or-other illness, doesn't mean that they shouldn't be taught boundaries early on. The dad is using it as an excuse not to discipline his child. Furthermore, learning disabilities are used far too often nowadays anyway as an explanation for a kid not doing well at school, social life, or whatever the hell else they might not be good at. Of course it's not because you teach your kid from an early age that they can act like an ass, meaning they act up at school. Nooo, it's a disability and the special little snowflake needs special attention. Special attention that will only make the whole situation worse.

[Humor_Me]

This is kind of what I went through with my brother. My brother wanted something, he basically went for it, and he wasn't disciplined for it except by my grandparents, aunt & uncle, me, or his Big Brother. My mom was always making excuses. It got to the point where in school I was getting the living crap beat out of me every day because of this "special sneaufleak". I had to learn to fight back and beat up boys 2 grades ahead of me. Fast forward about 15 years. It got to the point where when my mom would leave for symposiums for school and leave us at home, I would smile and wave her off with my brother at my side and say, "If you embarrass me while she is gone, I will kill you and they will never find the body." He was the epitome of "normal" and people noticed. I got all sorts of compliments when my mother was gone! Of course he was right back to his old self as soon as mom came home.

He now lives alone (near mom) on disability because she has convinced him that he can't make it in the world... firmly tangled in apron strings. At least having someone willing to kick his ass through most of his childhood seems to have sunk in because even though he is still an entitled sneaufleak, he has learned that he has to "earn" what he wants, and can't just take it.

If that child doesn't get some direction soon, he is going to end up far below his potential level. The idea is to challenge, not to let the kid slide through life and make excuses, and that's what I see the potential happening with this dad.

[Bitch Boy]

**Option A**

Step 1) If something like that ever happens again, get a really worried look on your face then ask the parent(s) of said hellspawn is allergic to anything? If they are, tell them they should probably get them to the ER right away. If they aren't, tell them, that was close, but that they should see the doctor right away as those cookies/food had your medicine for your viral gastroenteritis... (abdominal pain)

Step 2 - Watch them run!

**Option B**

Tell them that the cookies were $3 each and that since he touched the other one, that he must pay for both. $6 for two cookies = lunch money for you.

[Kay]

Her: “You should have a heart.”

Response: "So...you're going to buy me lunch now since that was all I had to eat for today and I'm broke."

Her: "No."

Response: "You should have a heart."

[Mcarp555]

Better still, eat her lunch and see how she likes it.

[Green Grin]

My little cousin decided he should shove him hand into my birthday cake and grab a piece before it was sliced. My aunt got mad at me for telling him off because 'he's just a baby'. He's not a baby, he's 4! He tried to hide what he was doing which means he knew it wasn't allowed.

A few months later he was over while my Mom was making a gingerbread house. She found him hiding under the table eating a wall. Mommy wasn't there to save him that time. Bwa ha ha ha. He never took food without asking at our house again.

Even if the kid doesn't understand that it was wrong, you just missed a perfect opportunity to teach them that it was wrong! Daddy is the one who will suffer from his poor parenting when Junior is out doing god know what as a teenage hellspawn.

Also, your last line warmed the cockles of my retail hardened heart. <3

[LucyTheMagicka]

I've never seen a disability that would turn you into a pile of shit with no manners.
If there's one, the dad should've paid for the cookies. A dad with A HEART!

But I do love the disability excuse. It always explains everything.

I can imagine myself having a well-behaving kid, with all the "thank you, ma'am"s and whatnot. Then I could just be sorry and say that my kid is disabled. That's why (s)he behaves so well.

[Chuckles]

Even though the guy was a total asshole, you were completely wrong about the decaf coffee. You knowingly gave a food product to someone who told you it would make him ill. That's borderline assault, and you could have gotten into serious trouble.

[AnotherNoName]

Uhh, how does a learning disability affect his behavior that much? Unless they're counting ADHD, but even then it doesn't seem to make sense. Anyway, if the kid is known to have a behavioral problem, the parents need to keep him close by to watch him and make sure he doesn't do something like that. No excuse.

[Terah]

The douche in the window deserved it. His passenger told him 'You didn't ask for decaf' and he said 'Well they should know!'

Uh, no, fucker. If you didn't ASK for decaf, then your tummyache isn't life or death. Get the fuck OVER IT!

[Damien]

I'd never pull my ADHD as an excuse for bad behavior, that dad neds a quick kick in the dick. (lol rhyme)