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Custy Makes Hilarious Comment About Flagship Outdoor Clothing Store
Yeah, it's been a while. The two biggest reasons for that are: Work pretty much tires this old fart out, and I'm a CHAMPION procrastinator.
Life at J.J. Legume has been, and continues to be, a blast! My co-workers are funny, energetic and very conscientious. And with lines of custys literally out the door, those traits come in real handy.
A few observations:
- A few customers have recognized me from my years at Lord & Taylor (both shops are part of the same mall) and mentioned, "This place really seems to suit you better!"
- Here at Legume, pretty much everything is the house brand. This took some getting used to, since back at L&T clothing was grouped according to manufacturer, Polo here, Lacoste over there, etc. And because everything is pretty much the house brand, I've had to memorize all the northwoods-inspired names for all the shirts, pants, jackets and coats.
- Computers around the store allow customers and employees to look up various items. This brings to light the fact that not that many people (yours truly included) are as computer-literate as they thought.
- Legume prides itself on its 100% customer satisfaction guarantee. Most people take that in the spirit in which it's meant. Others however take that as a challenge to scam the system. Take the skeevy-looking dude with the green teeth who came in recently to return a pair of 10-year(!) old boots. "Can I get that refund in cash?"
- "Do you need gift receipts or boxes?"
That's not really a difficult question, is it? But judging from the blank stares I've been getting, you'd think I'd just asked them to solve Fermat's Last Theorem.
- When an item in the catalog has the notation "Catalog sales only", it means it's not available in the store! Please don't wail and gnash your teeth and tell me, "We drove here from Tierra del Fuego and you're telling me you don't have it?"
- All my co-workers are WAY more physically fit than I am. I blame the years at Lord & Taylor working my last nerve for that. Anyway, it's like being a national park ranger. I was eating my lunch yesterday ( a store-bought microwaved lasagna) when a co-worker commented, "Eww, that's stuff's just packed with preservatives, ya know!?" I just grinned and said, "Well, right now it's preserving me!"
- And lastly, an elderly gent came in the other day with his hot Asian nurse? companion? bodyguard? He was looking for several specific items, which I helped him find.
As he was making his way to the registers, he asked me, "Have you ever been to Legume's main store?"
I allowed as how I hadn't.
"Well, you really ought to go", he said. "They're all stoned up there! Every single one of 'em! I think that's just GREAT! You have yourself a great day and thank you for your help!"