Do You Hear What I Hear? A Re-mixed Retail Christmas Song

From Benevolent Convenience Store Clerk:

"Said the custy bitch to vapid whore.
Do you see what I see?
Way over there in the corner, vapid whore?
Do you see what I see?
A retail slave, a retail slave!
Dead in that pool of blood with a knife in their chest?
With a growing pool of blood.
With a growing pool of blood.

Said the vapid whore to the discount rat.
Do you hear what I hear?
Cries of pain through the store, discount rat?
Do you see what I see?
A retail slave slumped over a mess of collapsed shelves.
That once held potato chips?
With a voice as big as the congealing puddle of blood?
With the smell of blood fouling up the store?

Said the discount rat to the store manager
Do you know what I know
In your convenience store, manager?
Do you know what I know?
A retail slave, a retail slave!
Has bled all over the chips!
Give me a discount, these chips are bloody!
Give me a discount, these chips are bloody!

Said the manager to his retail lemmings?
Listen to what I say
Don't do as Delusional Convenience Store Clerk has done.
Listen to what I say
The retail slave, the retail slave!
Dead over in the corner, in a pool of their own shit & blood.
They will get a pink slip, await unemployment benefits!
They will never work retail again!

The retail slave, the retail slave!
They will get a pink slip, await unemployment benefits!
They will never work retail again!"

--Benevolent Convenience Store Clerk

Comments

[2020k - RJ]

This is awesome.