RHU POLL: What Christmas Songs Are Currently Driving You Insane?

Poll Time RHUers! I want to know what current Christmas songs are driving you insane? Has Bieber made you want to grab a shot gun and start shooting at speakers in the ceiling? You can also include your most annoying Christmas song of all time and moments of service hell that went down while Santa Baby is playing for the millionth time.

Comments

[Kitchen Wench]

There can be only one Uber-Demon of Christmas Song Hell for me, and that riotous assault upon mine ears is "All I Want For Christmas Is You," in any and all of the infernally annoying incarnations it has spawned.

It was pretty much the ONLY Christmas song played in Japan from November 1st until December 25th for the two years I was there. Mariah Carey's version and innumerable horribly enunciated boy- and girl-band knock-offs blared from every store with a sound system inside, as well as the office radio at the school where I worked. Made me murderous by the first week of December.

I have, for a minor miracle, managed to avoid hearing it on the dining soundtrack in the Japanese restaurant I work for in the UK nowadays, but I chalk that up to the owner and her husband actually having good taste and merciful hearts. It has shat in my ears from the doorways of countless other eateries and shop fronts, tho, and it sets my teeth on edge every time.

[LadyBelle]

I work at hellmart, so christmas music started november 1st. There is one I actually liked this year, though. It's a jazzy Rudolph that ends with rudolph telling the other raindeer "You want my help now, when before you said that kind of thing to my face?" and the last line is "Then all the raindeer were ashamed."

[Corvus]

That's one advantage of working in a university library. Obnoxious students, yes. Obnoxious carols, no. Now Dobby's Lobby (as I shall call the craft shop I worked at before) on the other hand....

[CrazyCatLady]

It's not really Christmas, but The Lady Is A Tramp by Lady Gaga and whoever is currently making my life hell.

[Red Rider]

I'm so glad I work at Bullseye and they don't play any music. When I worked at JC Penis they played the same 30 or so Christmas songs on a loop starting in November. The two I hated were "Cold Outside" with the man trying to convince a lady to stay overnight at his house because it was snowing, and "Santa Baby" sung by someone trying to sound all breathy and flirtatious and possibly the most slutty Christmas song of all time.

[ScanGunMonkey]

The shop I'm working in...let's call it Tinfoil Hat, in honor of its metal headgear emblem, appearing on most of the cards and ornaments and shit that we sell...instead of Christmas music for most of the day, it's an Elvis CD...which would be nice, if the one manager didn't insist on singing along. Totally tone-deaf, totally clueless, and the accent just wrecks any credibility he could have had as a musician singing Elvis.

[Shywriter]

Baby Its Cold Outside and this other song that goes 'What are you doing New Years, New Years Day?' Both songs have multiple versions that play in our Christmas loop. Also I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by someone who sounds like an older man. The result is creepy. Or All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth sung by something sounding like Dracula.

[kittyfoster]

When I worked xmas gift wrap at the red M, they made a lounge where the crustys could relax, have a cookie and watch a video. There were 3: White Christmas, Mr. Magoo's Christmas, and the third one has remarkably slipped my mind.. It got where we could sing along with all the songs on White Christmas, but my favorite (!) was, "Sisters, sisters.."

[trekkiebabe31]

The one that annoys me is "My Favorite Things", just simply because I can't figure out why the heck it's a Christmas song. I mean, I know it from The Sound of Music, and as far as I know it was nowhere near Christmas when Maria sang that song.

[many bells down]

I came here to post almost exactly what Kitchen Wench said. I'm not even working right now and I'm sick of hearing that song. If I had to listen to it all day long I would straight up murder people.

[Fred's Photo Slut]

Luckily we don't play the Christmas crap in our department. But when I have to leave, the two that instantly get on my nerves are Cyndi Lauper's "Rocking around the Christmas Tree"and as much as I love Paul McCartney, I LOATHE "Wonderful Christmastime."

[Chicajojobe]

Last year when I worked in retail hell they all kind of blurred together. Although my personal unfavorite is Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...that is not counting the ones sung by kids like I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas or All I Want For Christmas is my Two Front Teeth. Ugh, I've hated those since I was 12!

Baby It's Cold Outside is one that I sort of love to hate because societal differences between now and when it was written make it sound so creepy. My co-workers and I called it the rape song.

But what drove me most crazy last year was actually the jingle from the Simpsons Coca Cola commercial that the fancy touchscreen coke machine outside the store would play.

[Sailor Blue]

This Christmas---When I worked at Petsmart, they played 50 billion variations of it

Christmas on the Radio--I hear this one at Zuhl's and it's one of the worst sappy ones I've

Whatever Live Aid Christmas Song that's out there...that one I hate too.

And of course, Baby It's Cold Outside is just a personal hate.

[2020k - RJ]

"JC Penis" just made me laugh for twenty minutes.

[Spider]

I got stuck in line at the supermarket and the bastards were playing this terrible version of 'Silent Night'. Five minutes of hearing the fucker singing it crooning 'Round yon viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirgin, moooooooooother and chiiiiiiiiiiiild' and I was just about ready to kill someone. Possibly myself.

[MCRmy]

I don't really hate any christmas songs, probably because I am not forced to constantly listen too them. One new winter song that I do like is this one on youtube, which is a kids song but really cute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXDpuv6xkfI

[Virgo7929]

i hate more than anything in this world, the 12 days of christmas. that shit gets stuck in my head and i can't get it out.

[Beatles4Life]

In addition to all of the other Xmas songs mentioned, I think that "Jingle bell rock" is especially annoying. I actually haven't heard it yet this year, thank goodness, but I have had the misfortune of hearing "All I want for Christmas", "Baby it's cold outside," and "Santa baby."

[Riferous]

This question actually brought me some happiness, because I hadn't realized until now that I am not hearing that godforsaken, cramp-inducing, ear-rending, child-skinning, worthless piece of a fuckup pile of shit "This Christmas". Man that feels good.

[I Don't Believe In Magic]

Many of the ones named have gotten annoying quite fast, but the one that annoys me the most is one called, "I Want to go Skating With Willie." This is the first year I've ever heard it, and I hope that none of you have to suffer through it as well.

[NumismaticNerd]

I don't mean to brag, but my work has very good music. It almost never loops, and it's all songs that you rarely hear. I've heard 'I Wonder as I Wander', 'Greensleeves', 'Good King Wenselslace'(butchering that spelling, I know) and other songs like those

[MahiMahi]

Well, this isn't in stores(except maye walmart) but it is in a walmart commercial. Hellspawn singing about waking up on Christmas morning at ungodly hours and then waking up the parental units so they can open gifts. it's cute the first few times....but then gets old.

[Delusional Convenience Store Clerk]

All of them, all of the wretched Christmas music. Deck the halls with the flesh of customers, tis the season to be bloody, 'tis the season to be bloody.

[TechDeath]

We've got carolers outside most lunch times who are generally awesome in that they're only there for an hour and then life goes back to normal.

[Drug Store Diva]

If it's on MUZAK, I hate it. The worst songs...White Christmas, Do They Know It's Christmas (seriously, have you listened to the lyrics to that one?), I'll be Home for Christmas, Last Christmas (really...a depressing break up song for the most joyous time of the year?), I saw Mamma Kissing Santa Claus (I think was sung by a child Michael Jackson...the end the kid goes "I did, I did see mamma kissing Santa Claus, I'm telling Dad"), I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus (nothing like a kidnap song for Christmas),

Actually, if it's not by Manheim Steamroller, Transiberian Orchestra, or part of Handel's Messiah...I don't like it.

[Madrias]

I don't even work Retail and I can't stand Christmas music. The fact that everyone plays it from November 1st any more until about new years eve makes me mad enough that I near want to shoot somebody.

[Concoction]

I second what Spider said, Silent Night gets me on edge in two seconds.

[KitschBitch]

Let it snow! It would be fine if we weren't going into Summer...

[BookishGirl]

White Christmas, Jingle Bells, Let it Snow, Winter Wonderland, Frosty the Snowman.

In fact anything that mentions snow and winter-time because, hello people - it's the middle of bloody summer in Australia!!!!!!!

[WMDKitty]

I hate ALL the songs. Seriously. No. I can put up with it for a while if it's, you know, actually Christmas day, but a month and a half of this shit is waaaaay too much.

[iwbiek]

@Numismaticnerd
your workplace ROCKS! i love "i wonder as i wander," and i didn't think anybody else knew it anymore. and "good king wenceslas" was the song i drunkenly sang as i and a bunch of slovak village guys were stumbling through the snow, from house to house, on one of those wassails we americans always hear about in songs and never know what the fuck they are. kind of appropriate, since wenceslas was a czech king.

for me, the worst christmas song EVER is the one where the guy sings, "all i want for christmas is...snoooow," then you hear this saccharine little boy go, "just a tiiiny bit of snow" and children singing, "la la la." that song gives me diabetes.

[Nibbler]

My company is far too cheap to actually pay for music, so we get whatever shit they can find for free. This includes a particularly irritating folk version of Good King Wenceslas, and a song about Santa not going to children who live in cardboard boxes. I think they stuck it on there to encourage people to be more giving to charities, but at the same time, we're supposed to push people to buy more junk they don't need?

[Deathcomes4u]

You guys only have to LISTEN to the shitty christmas songs.
I get the joy of being emotionally blackmailed, year after year, into being in a choir that goes to shopping centeres and sings christmas carols (many of which i loathe, and those are the ones that stick on the brain, not the good ones).
Best part? I don't get paid a fucking cent for this shit! And i have to miss work for it. THANKS MUM AND DAD. THANKS FUCKING HEAPS.

[Aisle-Standing]

@LadyBelle: I believe it is Jack Johnson who sings it, and I also love it for the fact Rudolph tells off the reindeer.

@I Don't Believe in Magic: That song is much more enjoyable if you listen to how perverted the lyrics are. Seriously, the entendre is singular.

I personally loath 'Must Be Santa' because it gets stuck in my head constantly.

[NC Tony]

I fucking HATE "Santa Baby" the ultimate materialistic song. I also hate every other fucking Christmas song I have to endure at work, because it's the same ones all night long. I've taken to changing the lyrics.

"Chest hair roasting on an open fire/Jack Frost nipping at your balls..."

"I saw mommy shtupping/fucking/blowing Santa Claus..."

"Frank Sinatra's coming to town..." (I only sing this one to Frank's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")

"Rudolph the Drunken Reindeer..."

Aretha Franklin's version of "Oh Christmas Tree" in which she mentions Jesus (which always prompts me to say "Jesus was born in APRIL!") and Santa in the same song.

[Joe the Cigar Guy]

ANY song that is played over and over and over and over and over and over during the course of the workday becomes a hated song. That being said, if I hear "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day, you gave it away" one more time...

My FAVORITE remains "Christmas At K-Mart" by Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band.

[ajason495]

i have several-
-debbie gibson- sleigh ride, its so sweet and 80's pop i wanna die
-TLC-have a merry merry christmas.. i hate the rap part in it, basically any song that laughs in it is annoying
-lisa loeb-jingle bells. it sounds like she is either trying to get people to commit mass suicide, or she took a bottle of pills and decided to sing. its too mellow.
-???- heat miser? i hate that song i dont know who sings it but its from a movie.
-jessica simpson... EEEEEI saw MUMMy kissing SANTA claus. seriously girl learn some volume control and stop growling out the words.

[TheMaceUparade]

At a certain theme park in Orlando that is currently borrowing a parade from NYC, there is Christmas music played on a loop throughout the entire park. One song on this loop is known to anyone who has worked more than one holiday season there as 'the song'. This song was created to cause employees to want to kill everyone in sight when it plays, I swear. It is called "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" and it was written by the devil.

It's so horrible that they actually expanded the music loop this year because so many people complained when it played every hour last year. Now it's like every 3 hours so you still hear it at least twice a day. We've all started timing it so we can be inside nice thick, concrete walls when it goes off. Is it January yet?

[twiztidlette]

Baby It's Cold Outside. I love that someone else on here called it the rape song, bc that's my name for it too. We have 4 different versions of it playing, including one that has Zooey Deschanel singing the female part, and another one that has the roles reversed- the woman begging the guy to stay, and the guy making 100 excuses.

We also have a terrible one that hs shown up for the past three years called the Happy Elf. It makes me want to cry. It's terrible.

And last but not least,we play this special little number called all i want for christmas is a (jonas) brother. I wish i was making that up. The funny thing about that song: everyone at my job-myself included- thought the girl was singing about wanting an actual little brother. So naturally we were all like 'awww' kinda cheesy, but awww nonetheless. but when you actually hear the line that goes ''so bring me kevin, nick or joe, any jonas brother is fine with me'..then...then it just gets sad.
I hate Christmas music :(

[Jennabee]

I hate whatever station is playing at my work. I mean... thank God they haven't played Bieber..... but There's this one Andrews Sister song that makes me want to hang myself.

I'm sad they don't play Buble or something more tolerable. :(

[Mel the Library Slave]

"Feeeeeeed the woooooorld, let them know it's Christmas time..." AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *smashes speakers*

Although the Barenaked Ladies version of that is tolerable.

I hate "Last Christmas" too.

[ScanGunMonkey]

@Joe the Cigar Guy: OOOOOMAGAWD I KNOW RIGHT. There's an Aberzombie across from the shop I'm in...so not only do we get to tolerate the smell, I think I might murder someone the next time it plays...

[Book Baby]

I really, REALLY, hate "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer". I would cheerfully strangle the person who was drunk enough to write this piece of crap.

OTOH, I would love to hear "I saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus" by Ru Paul in some of the more conservative stores here in town! Some of the town biddies who keel over in a dead faint upon hearing this little ditty!!!

[CrazyCatLady]

My sister forced me to go Christmas shopping today, and I was lucky enough to hear 2 different versions of Baby it's Cold Outside.

One was a kind of rap version, which was particularly awful.

[JBee]

This is the second year that I'm not working retail at Christmas, after 6 years of it, and I still don't think I'll be able to actually enjoy Christmas songs again. It may be a few more years. Or never.

I really hate "Baby It's Cold Outside", but the worst one, the one that REALLY drove me insane, was this awful cover song of "Snow" from "White Christmas" played at my store (I'll call it Cohl's). This version was sung at a different tempo than the original, slow and drawn out. The song is mostly just the word "Snow" over and over and over and over again, and since Cohl's was too damn cheap to pay for a variety of Christmas music, I heard it loop over and over again, every year!!!! I literally cringed and had facial ticks every time it came on.

Here's the lyrics, they're incredibly dumb. http://lyrics.astraweb.com/display/413/white_christmas..musical_ost..snow.html

[672]

If I have to listen to "All I Want for Christmas is You" one more time, I'm flying to LA and ripping out Mariah Carey's trachea. We must have four different versions of that song in our rotation.

[Photoslave]

Last Christmas. When I worked at JC Penis Portraits, they played 2 or 3 different versions EVERY FREAKING HOUR. Now, whenever I hear it, I get a little sick. However, Wreck the Malls is my favorite. I even have it as a ringtone. If you haven't heard it, you should definitely look it up on youtube. Absolutely hilarious!

[TomTom UK]

Love the post!

We've just come up with our list of the best Christmas songs to drive to. Thought you might get a kick out of it. You can check it out here:

http://www.christmas-costumes-ornaments.tk/about/christmas/top-10-christmas-driving-songs-revealed

Best wishes from TomTom UK

[diamondcait]

How is it that no one has mentioned Sleigh Ride? I LOATHE that song! I also would cheerfully strangle Barbra Streisand for her godawful version of Jingle Bells. Marshmallow World makes me want to vomit. Chrissy the Christmas Mouse induces migraines.
Sixteen years in retail, and I hates pretty much most christmas music, but those are some of the standouts.

[Nocturnesthesia]

I fucking hate any and all Christmas songs (with the exceptions of the rude ones on South Park or Denis Leary's album, not that you'd ever hear them in public.)

The one that's getting to me this year is Rudolph the bloody fucking reindeer. O Christmas Tree is a close second... No the leaves are not unchanging, take a plant bio class, you fucking dolt.

[alshara]

I used to work at Guitar Center. Worked there for 5+ years. Black Friday was the start of the Christmas music for us from the head office. Being a "hip" and "cool" and "rock n rolling" place, we'd hear all sorts of horrible renditions of Christmas music. The absolute worse is this punk version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" which tries to be "funny" by going through all of the different holiday celebrations for the different religion. So, after the female vocalist finished the line "and a happy new year," she'd follow it up with,"And if you are Jewish.... WE WISH YOU A HAPPY HANUKKAH" and so forth, through 10 different religions. INCLUDING ATHEIST. The atheist one was mildly amusing because did not sing during that part.

We also had a policy regarding the language of some of the music we played in store in the live room display. Pretty much it has to be G to PG-13. In other words, no NIN. One year, they played Sarah Silverman's "Give the Jew Girl Toys" because, hey, it mentions Santa Claus, and toys! Kosher right? Here's the first verse:

"I hate to say this Santa but you’re acting like a dick
you should give presents to everyone that’s good
and not just to your personal click
if you bring me a toy to open Christmas morning
I’ll let you be my boyfriend all bearded, fat and horny
oh yeah oh yeah"

I voted to keep that song on the radio.

I currently work for a family owned business that specializes in law enforcement equipment. There's no over head music at all. Thank god.

[silversatyr]

Yes, it's a parody but damn if I'm not somehow smuggling "Santa and I know it" into the Salvation Army store I work in this year. Not that I hate carols or Christmas songs, and the shop at least mixes things up a bit - thankfully without Beiber or other newer crap - but sometimes a funny song will do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qz8yJogJEEM

I'd probably be 'fired' if I did though. (I'm a volunteer and one of their best/boss's favourite, so chances are I'd be warned instead.)

[Greybeard]

One year my work had only two christmas CD's
Hi-5 and the Wiggles. On loop and played to the soul death
of the staff.

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