Burger Bitch: Slacker Coworker Allowed To Be Late and Call In Sick 8 Times

Well guys, today was a complete and utter disaster. However, my awesome coworker and a regular customer made my day.

Now, I have one coworker who is a huge fucking cunt. I literally have no other words to describe her because that’s how terrible she is. She’s shows up late all the time or calls in sick, in December alone, she called in sick eight times. EIGHT FUCKING TIMES. But she never gets in shit for anything. Why? Because my manager has to have permission from her boss to fire someone, and her boss is a fucking buttpussy.

So this morning, I go in at my usual time which is 4:30AM and Cunt is supposed to come in at six. Recently, I’ve had a bitchin’ flu, but I still show up to work because, well, nobody would take my shift because they refuse to work with cunt. One of my coworkers even called me and said “BB, I love you. Like, more than tequila, but just not enough to want to work with Cunt.” Seriously, this is how bad she is. But anywhom, 6:10 rolls around and she’s still not there and it’s starting to get really busy, 6:15 comes and I call my manager and let her know that Cunt is late. Awesome Manager tells me to call her again in 10 minutes if she’s still not there and she’d be right over.

Nope, she still wasn’t there, so I text my manager and she tells me to call in Mama Bear. Mama Bear is by far my favourite coworker. She’s such a sweetheart and I just love her so much. I ask the two people waiting at cash if they could just hold on for one second because I really have to call my coworker in, but they start fucking flipping shit, so I serve them. But as I’m serving them, I start to feel insanely unwell and realize that I’m about to have some serious issues. I serve them as fast as I can, but DT goes off, serve that customer, someone else comes in. At this point, I’m in tears because I need to go to the washroom SERIOUSLY BAD and I don’t have fucking time because my coworker can’t give a fuck enough to fucking come to work on time.

Well, I turn to serve the customer at cash but it’s John Goodman. Not really, but you guys remember the awesome regular who looks a lot like him and bitched at the asshole customer a few rants ago? Yeah, it was him.

John: “Oh no! What’s up, buttercup?”

Me: “I’m feeling really unwell and I really have to go to the washroom but I don’t have time because my coworker is an idiot and comes in late all the time! And I still have to call my other coworker and I’m just freaking out a little bit. I’m so sorry.”

John: “Ok, hon. GO TO THE WASHROOM. I’ll stand here and let customers know that you’re just having some technical difficulties. But seriously, go! Fuck the people in the DT, they can wait!”

I booked it to the washroom as fast as possible and when I came back, John was still standing there, chatting away with the other customers, then he says “They don’t mind waiting, give your coworker a call.”

I honestly wanted to hug the crap out of him. I called Mama Bear and immediately she answered and said “What’s wrong, hon?” Seriously, she has crazy Psychic Mom powers.

Me: “Cunt didn’t show up and I can’t do everything myself and I’m freaking out and just-just-“

Mama Bear: “Oh, sweetie! I’m going to get dressed like a fucker and I’ll be right there! Just breathe!”

I served the other few customers before my manager and Mama Bear came in, then the phone rang. It was Cunt saying “She was going to be late.”

WOW. REALLY? YOU DON’T FUCKING SAY, CAPTAIN RETARDO!

I told her that Mama Bear was already there and hung up, but Cunt still came in. I was still shaking because I was so angry and when I saw her walk in, I had to go outside because I would have flipped at her. She didn’t even have a decent excuse, she just waddled her fat ass in and said “I didn’t feel like getting up this morning.”

NOBODY WANTS TO GET UP AND GO TO FUCKING WORK IN THE MORNING!

When I came back in, Awesome Manager was having a talk with her, but she let me know later that there’s nothing she can do. So basically, in order to get fired, you have to shit in someone’s mouth.

Immediately Cunt starts trying to tell Mama Bear what to do and told her that she shouldn’t have come in and Mama Bear looked right at her and said “Maybe you should get your cow ass here on fucking time so BB doesn’t have to handle the morning rush by herself, you lazy twat.”

I seriously nearly cried out of joy.

And lucky me, tomorrow is my 6^th day working in a row and I have to spend it with Cunt. AWESOME. I should just leave when she gets there and say “Sorry, I don’t feel like working.”

Fucking dickpacker.

--Burger Bitch

 

Comments

[KittyKatzchen]

Holy shit. Bless your heart, I have so had coworkers like that. It was like a freaking flashback. You are a lot more controlled than I am, because there is no way I would have been able to keep quiet. Also, if there was a way to give Mama Bear and John Goodman a huge hug, I so would. You have some awesome people right there.

[Stockroom Slave]

How is it that a dickhead like that keeps her job, but hard-working slaves who make one tiny mistake or who call in sick once because they can't move without puking or something get fired instantly? If karma doesn't catch up with that cow then there is no justice in this world.

[Redheadactress]

Whos' dick is she sucking?

[Sara]

I would come in and be such an Evil Crustomer to Cunt if I could. Make her cry. Maybe make her quit, depending how nice I'm feeling.

[mick.waukee]

We have co-workers like that in industry, too.
The exception being that they DO show up on time because they don't have to really do any work at the "team" level.
The reason for this is that the company (in their infinite wisdom) have judged said co-workers to be more culturally diverse than the people who actually do the brunt of the work. I hate to be the "Donny downer" that everyone just LOVES to flame on in the comments, but German-Americans invented cultural diversity centuries ago. Have the best day you will ever had, kids, and yes, this "cunt" person will indeed see her karmic comeuppance some day.

[cashykat]

Why are they still scheduling Cunt? Couldn't the manager "forget" to write her in the schedule as a favor because she "doesn't feel like working".

[MamaZoe]

^My thoughts exactly. If Awesome Manager isn't allowed to fire Cunt, could she[AM] al least cut her hours drastically?

[Hedgehog]

Can we all have a John Goodman customer? They sound AWESOME.

[Sales Agent Guy]

Oh man, this reminds me of Mr. Lazy from years back. I just knew that he seriously didn't feel like working the shifts he was given, but rather than take it up with management, he thought by presenting sob stories to younger co-workers, they'd pity him and work for him. Of course, that wasn't the case.

Of course, Mr. Lazy would NEVER take no for an answer. Instead he'd just keep begging you until you caved in. After I caved in one too many times, I put my foot down and said no way. Of course, that didn't stop him from begging. That, and the fact he was a total idiot who always ruined things, made everyone hate working with him. But they couldn't fire him for the longest time since they needed him for the graveyard shift.

[RT Bear]

BB, I do hope you start feeling better, been having to work myself this past week with a wonderful URI, trying my best no to cough up a lung on my passengers, so I can understand how you feel...

On another note though, you know that if you were to walk out on Cunt when she finally gets her large ass into the store, the AM's boss will probably chew you a new ass for it...and for the life of me, I can't understand why the store manager can't fire someone without permission....I have never worked in a store/restaurant/call center where a manager couldn't make that type of decision...

[~Bookstore Slave]

*sends hugs* Oh man I'm so sorry! I hope you feel better. Mega kudos to your John Goodman and Momma Bear though. We need more of them in the world.

[Ashy-Boy]

The world needs more John Goodmans.

[ScanGunMonkey]

Jesus tapdancing Christ...why exactly does the store manager need outside permission to fire someone? If I were you...I'd start looking at company policy, and see if there's some sort of open-door thing. If you can, go over the manager's head...with all the DOCUMENTED DETAILS you can come up with. Write everything down, be as informative as you can...and start making a pest of yourself to the higher-ups. They'll solve your issue to make you stop talking at their fat faces. :D Also, hugs. Because hugs are a good thing.

[LaserSpawn]

BB, Cunt sounds like she needs a good slap in her cocksucker. Honestly, if I were your Awesome Manager, I'd start cutting Cunt's hours. Then if she started bitching, I'd be all like "oh I thought I was doing you a favor since you always say - when you FINALLY decide to grace us with your presence, that is - that you didn't feel like working or whatever. You can have more hours when you can prove to the rest of us that you actually do want to work by showing up on time and not being a huge bitch."

[LaserSpawn]

Also, most places have it in the policies for employment that you are only allowed so many days for showing up late and shit like that. that cunt better get whats coming to her.

[Halian]

I feel your pain, I have coworker who only works when a manger is watching her. All of my managers want her fired, but the district manager likes her and keeps giving her raises. It fills me with so much rage. She is not as bad as cunt thought, she does get away with a lot of crap like verbally disrespecting managers to their faces.

[NC Tony]

I agree with everyone who says you should talk you manager into cutting her hours. Personally I would have slapped her in her fucking face after saying she didn't feel like coming in. You could also just use your awesome Burger Bitch powers and see if you can get her to quit by just being your usual charming self.

[Majuba]

either cut her hours or give her the really crappy shifts. Make her the opener (switch your shifts around). That way there would be SERIOUS consiquences if she can be bothered dragging her ass outa bed. Corporate would soon notice if they get some complaints from seriously pissed off customers. Got any great customers/friends that could file some complaints on her?

[RockerChic]

Shut Up- I would love to live in your world where you ca afford to miss work when you're sick without risking your job and all the nice comforts like food and shelter that go with it.

[Robot]

Someone please tell me that "Shutup" is a troll.
Food service companies don't give a crap if you're sick.
They're not going to pay you to stay at home. No working = No money = Homelessness.

[Sunfire]

Hey Shut Up

I WANT TO HUG YOU - WITH A CHAIR - IN YOUR FUCKING FACE -

YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING. YOU ARE THE AWFUL PERSON. I HOPE YOU TRIP ON A ROCK AND BRUISE YOUR KNEE!

I am so sorry BB that you had to deal with that. I would have left the customers and went to the bathroom, I can deal with that type of pain. I send you so many virtual hugs.

[WMDKitty]

Hey, "Shut Up", go fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw. No lube.

@BB -- Ugh, there's been some gnarly stuff going around this year. Feel better soon, k? Here's hoping Cunt gets what's coming to 'er SOON, and that you get to be there to witness the glorious bitch-slap that is Karma.

[Book Wench]

Shut Up, what world did you come from, exactly? Because I've received a radio signal from them and they want you back.

Burger Bitch, I agree with those saying that you should switch shifts so that she is the opener. We did this at Wastings to a girl who never came in, and her ass got canned. Being late is something companies can overlook or work around; not having the fucking store open on time is not.

Also, have my good wishes and get well soon!

[LaserSpawn]

shut up, such a shame no one has high fived you in the face with a sledgehammer yet. YDI

[Creative Slave]

Shut Up-- kindly, SHUT THE FUCK UP. i work part time and have no sick days. i dont work i dont get paid. im assuming its the same with BB. so keep ur damn comments to yourself.

BB -- i sincerely hope Karma royally fucks Cunt where the sun is scared to shine. (if that makes sense lol) where i work if ur late more than 6 times (i think) ur a goner. we had to fire someone just the other day for that. we keep track of that stuff. Id also like to give mega hugs to Mama Bear and John Goodman. we need more people like that!! get better soon. >>>hugs<<<

[Sales Agent Guy]

Hey Mr. Shut Up, take my advice and live up to your name! Seriously, go back under the bridge and wait for The Three Billy Goats Gruff!

And BB, I admire you for going against the odds and coming in while you were sick. John Goodmans need to be more frequent. The fact you were sick AND that Cunt was late really hurts I can imagine. I would love to go up to Cunt and go on a John MacEnroe-like tirade on her. I hope she gets fired.

[RetailTrollSlayer]

Oh Mr. Shut Up -- SHUT UP!

[Freddy]

Shut Up has been shut the fuck up. Please notify me if this douche shows up again under another name...
I'm sorry they have gone for so long.
Please notify me if any of you see haters on RHU like this...
It's cool if we argue and disgaree with one another, but this is no place for hating or custy advocates.

[Bitch Boy]

Have you tried using a taser?

*blink blink*

What? I'm just asking!

[Archonix]

Dang, I missed the drama.

[Shannah]

I wish there was some way I could treat your John Goodman customer some morning. I think Mama Bear is awesome for being so helpful, but for a customer to go so far above and beyond is really amazing.

If you do switch shifts with Ms. "I didn't feel like coming in" I'd love to hear how that works out, and how long before she gets fired.

Oh, and while I'm at it, can I give you a raise, too? Like double what you're making now?

[Lady Red]

That sounds so annoying. I agree with the others about having Cunt's hours cut since they can't be bothered to come in on time.

your John Goodman custy sounds awesome, wish there were most custys like him out there. He deserves a big hug.

[Katje]

The manager should really look in the company policies not only for any open door policies but possible loopholes to fire Cunt. For the meantime, I agree with cutting her hours down till she quits. I thought the politics was bad at my last job, but damn! Who's ass is she kissing to keep her job on so long after all the times she's called out or showed up late?!!

[Book Baby]

I used to work with someone like her. she wouldn't come in because she:

had a headache--telling this to me who has worked with a migraine so bad I couldn't see numbers while her lazy ass was at home.

just couldn't face the day--haven't we all been there and we hitched up our panties and headed out the door any way.

needed and extra day to "recover" from a busy week--don't we all?

Plus much, MUCH more. Mind you, this woman was over 60 while pulling this sophomoric crap! She has since retired, thank GOD.

[Svantus, the Wageslave Avenger]

Yeah, Shut Up has been trolling this site for awhile now (btw, Freddy, you missed one, but you do swing the banhammer like a champ!). Had situations like this at Walhellmart. Lot of "favors" happening even at work, if you catch my drift.

[Spider]

Damn, BB, sorry you had to go through that. *hugs*