Hellspawn Tales From Karate School

So, I've been torn between stories to post ever since I saw Spawn Wranglers post about the demon child.

I have one from Awful Waffle, but I think my experience at my old Karate school would be a little better.

As a little background, for almost 2 years I helped teach 2 classes: Ages 3-4 and Ages 4-About 12. I completely understand where Spawn Wrangler is coming from when they mention discipline issues. At the Dojo, we weren't allowed to punish children at all aside from sitting out of a game or going to Sensei's office. Believe me when I say some of them desperately needed it. I can not tell you how many parents brought their Hellspawn in with the direct orders for us to cure their little...angel. We are NOT miracle workers. I have one pair of brothers that spring to mind. I'll call them Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Now, Thing 2 wasn't as bad as his brother, though he definitely had a severe case of Middle Child Syndrome. Gods forbid he not get his way and all the attention. His screeching was enough to make my tail fluff and look for the nearest tree to climb. If he lost a game, he freaked. If he wasn't picked to answer a question, he freaked. This boy was about 7 when he came to us, 2 years younger than Thing 1. I may be being a little critical, but I had children younger and right around the same age as him who were perfect angels. We chalked it up to issues at home (I believe his father was deployed for a few months) and left it at that. Thing 1, however, made Thing 2 look calm. Honest to the Gods, I am worried about this child's future. I have NEVER met such an aggressive child. He'd constantly hit/kick/sometimes bite his brother (Thing 1 sometimes instigated this, too, though). Don't jump down my back here. We separated them and kept an eye on them the best we could, but 3 teachers can only do so much when teaching a class of 25+ students.

This child had so many conferences with his Mom and Sensei that I lost count. He'd throw tantrums that put his brother to shame and was WAY too rough when it came to sparring (Which we had at light contact and full sparring gear) and sometimes kids got hurt (Never badly and not enough to get the little shit kicked out). What were we allowed to do? Put him in the corner...with him sitting there and either glowering or grinning the whole time. Seriously, he had this maniacal grin whenever he did something wrong.  We. Couldn't. Do. A. Damned. Thing. My favorite Sensei (Mr. Ninja) and I constantly tried to have something done, but to no avail. We eventually just got real good at realizing when he was about to do something, so that we could prevent it.

Eventually, his tantrums stopped riling up the other kids, so thankfully we didn't have to do as much damage control after a few months. I guess they just adjusted and learned to ignore it. Hell, some of the poorly behaved kids even became heavenspawn after witnessing some of these children's tantrums.

Mr. Ninja and I were actually counting down the days when we found out they were moving. This is the one and only time I wasn't heartbroken over losing a child and the Dojo didn't offer some sort of deal to where the children could come back occasionally. Looking back on it, I get so, so angry. You know, I can't even be mad at the mom. She was juggling these two hellspawn and a new born while her husband was deployed. What i'm annoyed about was not being able to do more. I loved teaching the kids, but these two honestly had me dreading going to classes and I hated them spoiling it for the other children, too. I recently heard from Mr. Ninja that he's branching off and starting his own school within the next few years. He offered me a position and, knowing him, we won't be tolerating Hellspawn of that magnitude.

The Game (He he he),

--KittyKatzchen

 

 

Comments

[NumismaticNerd]

I just lost the game!

[Manda]

I feel your pain. When I worked at a dojo, I found that most of the kids who were enrolled had ADD/ADHD. The funny thing is that most of them were fine, just needed a more strict, disciplined environment. And boy, was there ever discipline!

First offense was 20 pushups. Second offense was 100 pushups. Third offense was sitting in the corner with your feet under your bum and meditating, which makes your feet go crazy numb. For the teens, the third offense included having a bo staff tucked under your knees, which hurts like crazy.

The idea was to tire the kids out. The best part was that if they started being cheeky while fulfilling their punishment, we would just add more until they got the idea and stopped. No physical punishment, and eventually even the most boneheaded kid would get the idea that they weren't going to be allowed to act out.

[NC Tony]

So did you sing "Ding dong the witch is dead" when they finally moved?

[DXKramer]

"The Game (He he he)"

GOD DAMNIT!

[Elly-Rose]

Man that's bad, especially when you're teaching kids a type of martial arts, I know they're about disipline (I used to go) but that doesn't mean some kids aren't going to go around using the things they've learnt to hurt others, I think kids should have to do a trial lesson, if they're seen to be too angry or bad tempered they shouldn't be allowed to learn how to turn their body into a weapon! It can only end badly.

Also, that kid is damn lucky I wasn't around, at Thing 2's age I could throw a mean punch that would cripple someone twice my size (I still can) the only difference is, I know not to do it unless it's a last resort. If I was one of the other parents I would have been trying to make my kid "teach" him a lesson the hard way, he's going to get punched in the face sooner or later anyway.

[The Last Archimedean]

There's always going to be someone out there who's more skilled... or has a better weapon. I just hope Things 1 and 2 didn't have to learn a lesson the hard way.

[Card Creature]

I've got tiger blood, so I'm always winning.

[KittyKatzchen]

There is so much win (and losing) in these comments.

@Card Creature: I think you win a chunk of the internets for that.

@Manda: Oh, by the Gods, PLEASE tell me what branch of Karate that was! That is exactly what my Dojo should have done.

@NC Tony: Actually, yes. Along with a few others.

[grateful]

http://blog.qag.qld.gov.au/manga-boy-meets-anime-girl/

That link might amuse someone. I thought of it because of Kitty's avatar.

[Mick Waukee]

I used to practice at a Shotokan dojo in Rockford years ago, until I discovered that you MUST have strong knees and heels to avoid excruciating pain. It also helps not to rush into a cigarette and a COLD Mountain Dew directly after class, and then move on to a half inch thick reefer log. Mr. Allen (Senpei) took no b.s. from anyone at all, ever.

[Framer-Fatal]

Rockford eh? I was taking lessons in Elgin, and it was the same thing; 6 years old and i was doing pushups, knuckle pushups if we were goofing off. You learned to count to ten in Korean and if you didn't say "yes master!" and hold the posture and stillness of an army member, it was pushups again.

[WMDKitty]

Oy. You SHOULD be angry at that poor excuse for a "mother" -- it's HER fault the kids were acting that way. It's HER RESPONSIBILITY to discipline her kids. The Dad-bot's deployment may well have played into it, but that's still no excuse for allowing your children to behave in ways that ANIMALS would be ashamed of.

And from what you said about Thing 2, well, he sounds like a little sociopath in the making.

[Kiliana Nightwolf]

*reads the sign off* Fffffffuuuuuuuuuu----!!!

[TechTiger]

Ha! I block your 'the game!'
http://xkcd.com/391/

[Ron]

At least I won the other game.

[fuck the game]

super cool meme bro

was an awesome way to ruin a funny story

[Cosima]

.They also used the bill itself, bcesuae they say that someone supposedly is supposed to believe that it is going to provide for ALL their needs makes the bill into another god.They used both coveting and stealing and the fact that it is a law that has some of it supported by taxes which are involuntary payments to say that Obamacare goes against those two commandments.Educating children about their sexuality, which they say about the program is going to be graphically teaching kindergarteners, presumably trotting rated XXX movies in to be shown to them, maybe during snacktime is supposedly committing adultery, bcesuae we all know if you don't teach a child about sex then they won't know anything about it until they are safely married.The whole argument about false witness is something about doctors removing children's tonsils and amputating diabetics' feet, they ignore the lies from the opposition about taxing health insurance, death squads and so forth, and that abortion was removed from the bill but the opposition trots that out, which leads me to Murder they trot out the abortion thing, which was removed from the bill, but they are bearing false witness in saying that it is still in there.Obamacare supposedly is not honoring one's parents bcesuae healthcare decisions will be given to bureaucrats. Apparently they believe that this is worse than having NO healthcare to offer to your parents or the current system that gives insurance company bureaucrats the healthcare decisions, insurance company bureaucrats who are compensated based on their ability to find reasons to deny claims.Anyone that is associated with a site that promotes such drivel can only be taken with a grain of salt anyway. Get real. These folks are the ones that are giving Christians a well earned bad name.And don't call me an emergent believer, I WAS a believer, I am now a non-believer. I have absolutely no interest in being associated with people like that.