Burger Bitch: Coworker Sexting Custys and A Parade of Dumbasses

Oh guys, you won’t fucking believe the story I have for you this time.

Since it’s so fucking ridiculous and is making me so mad that I could very well piss wasabi, I’m going to cut right to it.

Recently, my manager has started putting me on after noon shifts because I mentioned that I was getting crazy migraines from lack of sleep. And since she’s so awesome, she took me aside one day and said “You’re my one of two amazing workers, so I don’t want you to leave, so if you don’t mind, I’ll put you on some afternoon shifts.” Which I of course didn’t mind because I got to sleep in and finally have some time to get some shit done.

Well, I realized very quickly that the customers are 500x more idiotic during the afternoon shift, but more importantly, that the tips suck. Now, I’ve mentioned before that I live off of my tips and my paycheck goes straight to the bank and I don’t touch it. That way I can save up for school (Whenever I decide what I actually want to do with my life, y’know) and a car very easily.

When I work in the mornings, I generally walk home with anywhere from $15-30 per day, however the few times I’ve worked the afternoon shifts, I’ve literally went home with less than $3. But what bugged me is I’ve seen the tips that the other girl who works afternoons walks home with, and they’re always upwards of $25. Not to sound arrogant at all, but this girl is unpleasant, impolite and dumber than a box of toenails. When I work, I’m polite and try to make small talk with the customers.

I really started to wonder how she was walking home with an assload of tips and I was getting dick all. Well, I knew that she’s gotten written up twice for taking her apron off and unbuttoning her shirt, so I figured “Maybe I need bigger tits to get tips, but that’s not happening.”

But then, my coworker told me, in a giggling fit of hysteria that Tips McGee was caught by our other coworker SEXTING CUSTOMERS.

WHAT?

Yeah. Apparently she’s been giving out her number to customers and sexting them up and she was BRAGGING about it.  Which is fucking awesome, because I never realized that I work in a coffee house/brothel. So now all I have to do is sext in order to get tips, so I’m a bit fucking pissed about that. Plus, just the other night, three customers came in and asked if Slutty McTroll was working.  

–Shudder-

*    *    *    *

And now for the Darwin Award Winning Customers!

The thing that’s really gotten on my nerves as of late is just the complete and total lack of any common sense. The first customer I had the other afternoon was a man and his teenage son in DT, they ordered a large double double and a large double double with sweetener. So on one lid I wrote a “S” and on the other “Sw.” You’d think that’d be pretty straight forward, right? Wrong.

Old Man: “Which one has sugar and which one has sweetener? They’re not marked.”

Me: “Yes, they are. The “S” is sugar and the “Sw” is sweetener.”

Old Man: “Well, that’s confusing, they could easily be confused.”

Even his son was shaking his head at him. Then, not an hour later, a man came into the store, looked around and asked “Do you serve coffee?”

I honestly thought he was joking, so I chuckled, but he just gave me the stink eye. No, fuckbone, the 3 coffee machines and all the cups and bags of coffee lying around actually means that we serve stem cells.

He ordered an extra large regular and a medium hot chocolate. Note that these sizes differ greatly. I prepare them, put them in a tray and give them to the dipshit dude.

Dipshit: “Which one is which?”

Me: “.. Sorry?”

Dipshit: “Which one is which? I ordered an extra-large regular and a medium hot chocolate, right? So which one is which?”

Me: -Trying VERY hard not to sound sarcastic- “The extra-large is the one in the bigger cup..”

*    *    *    *

Then came the idiot bitch and all of her spare fucking change. A woman came through DT and ordered an Extra Large French Vanilla and cookie, since there was another customer waiting at the counter, I got them together quickly and told the woman in DT her total. That’s when she hands me an entire fucking sandwich bag of pennies and nickels and says “I’m too busy to count it, so if you could just count that to make sure I have enough, that’d be great.” YEAH. FUCKING SURE. NOT LIKE I HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS OR ANYTHING ELSE BETTER TO FUCKING DO, YOU DUMB BITCH.

I try to count it as quickly as possible and she only has about $1.20 and the total is $3.45.

Me: “You only have $1.20 here.”

Bitch: “Ok, give me a few minutes to get more change out of my bag.”

I figure this would be a decent enough chance to take the customer’s order who has been waiting patiently at the counter. I turn and say “Hey there, what can I get you?” when the bitch in DT shouts “HEY WAIT YOU HAVE TO COUNT MY CHANGE.”

Me: “Do you have the change ready yet?”

Bitch: “No!”

Me: “Then I’m going to take this customer’s order while you get your change.”

Bitch: “No! You have to count my change!”

Luckily the girl who was working on the gas station side came over and took the other customers order. All in all, it took over TEN MINUTES for this lazy fucking cow to get out enough change to pay for her fucking order, and it was almost all in pennies. 2.75$ in pennies, if I remember correctly.

I need to start drinking at work.

--Burger Bitch

 

Comments

[cashykat]

At least the penny bitch didn't complain that her coffee was cold..but wow...

I would tell the manager about tips mcgee. I'm sure the awesome manager would want to be informed that one of her employees is texting like acts of a prostitute.

[RetailTrollSlayer]

I think it's hilarious that bimbo was sexting, all for around 25 bucks? What a cheap ho (literally!)

I will say one thing though, I could see how a customer would get confused with "S," and "SW". I mean, they could've had trouble finding the markings. Next time, just put "Sugar" on the one with Sugar, and leave the other one blank. That way, it would be even MORE of a "Duh" to the customer.

When I worked at Taco Hell, I had a female customer in DT be a dollar short of what she owed. I told her she would have to pay the complete total to get the complete order (it was only 3 bucks) or take something off. Simple concept, right? She threw a fit and said "I AM ONE OF YOUR BEST CUSTOMERS, I WANT MY TACOS! I WANT MY THREE TACOS! GIVE ME MY F**** TACOS!" I got the manager, and he told her the same thing. She then threw a container of mustard (?) at our window, and drove off (without her food). My manager and I were considering calling the police for assault (we had her liscence plate #) but we decided it was more trouble than it was worth.

[trekkiebabe31]

Custys seem to be allergic to change, I've had people pay with a $100 bill and yet they scramble in their purse for the 52 cents or whatever. I'm like, really? It's still money, heck I put all my change in a container and when it gets full I take it to the bank to get it turned into dollars!

[ScanGunMonkey]

Jesus Jones, what a whorebag. I'm with cashykat, tell the manager. Not only is it nasty (although funny as fuck), it's kinda immoral, even though it's probably not technically illegal, what with law being way behind technology and whatnot. On custys and change...Christ on a fucking bike, do they like their exact change. I admit, it makes my job a bit easier if you can *quickly* get exact change together for your ticket...but you don't get a prize or anything, fuckwaffle, especially if you take half a bleeding hour to fish it out of your camper-sized purse.

[Spritzy]

There's gotta be some sort of integrity clause in the store policy against her acting like that/doing those things. One of these days she's gonna give the wrong person the wrong idea and end up getting attacked in a dark alley or whatnot.

[The Last Archimedean]

Sorry to hear that, BB.

All of you RHU'ers are awesome, but you are my favorite poster. If you lived near me I'd make sure to give you a five-dollar tip every time I bought something on your shift, which would be several times per week. As for the slut, report what she's doing -- it may not violate the law, but I'm sure management must have some policy about not fraternizing with customers.

Your posts always make me smile. Hang in there! Life will get better...

[MamaZoe]

^The operative concept of the Darwin Awards is that the person removes themselves from the gene pool by stupidity; they don't necessarily have to kill themselves. I believe several (generally males) over the years have earned Darwin Awards by merely maiming themselves.

[meesh]

I don't know where you live, but in Ontario, Canada, it`s illegal to pay with more than 50 cents in loose pennies. My friend tried to pay his parking ticket that way and made the clerk find the law before he`d leave. Check up if your area has the same law.

[KittyKatzchen]

I'm fairly certain that it's ok to refuse mass amounts of change. At least when I lived in Tennessee.

As for the skank, one of my former coworkers from Awful Waffle (Hick Girl) used to date customers. I don't think it's a bad thing if you find some people you like. Hell, I met my husband at Awful Waffle. She would go out and do 'Favors' for them, though. Ew.

[NC Tony]

I'm with the others that say you should report Slutty McSexintgon. Like Spritzy said, how long is it before someone gets the idea to take things too far and she gets assaulted (or worse).

As for the dipshit with the coffee and hot chocolate it's very, very hard not to sound sarcastic when trying to point out the obvious, and since there's really no other way to do it, you end up sounding sarcastic and in some cases the customer gets mad at you for their own stupidity.

As for change lady, you really should have made her count her own change. Tell her, "I'll be helping these other customers, let me know when you have it all counted out and I'll come back."

[Daisy]

Yeah I seem to remember reading somewhere that you can't pay for anything over 25 or 50 cents in pennies.

One time I had a customer hand me a roll of nickels, and I actually said to him, "Really? You know I have to unwrap them and count every single one?" He still insisted on paying with them. There were no customers behind him, so I said ok and counted them, but I was not impressed, and wasn't shy about making that known.

[Ted the 'Flayer]

I'm jealous. When I flirt with custies, they run for the hills. Although being able to make them leave and not come back is not without its own set of merits...

[Shannah]

LMAO Ted, that's pretty funny. I am with the group that would report Tips McGee to the manager. That's just really not appropriate, whether or not it's "legal".

[AmigaTech]

Paying with change in the USA is interesting. They can refuse to serve you without proper change (eg. on a bus), but _once you have had the service or product and been given a bill_ - Thus legally incurring a debt - Then you can pay it in *any* legal tender, including pennies.

In this case, she doesn't have her coffee yet, so in the USA you could refuse the payment.

However, again the USA, that parking ticket should have been lawfully payable in pennies.

IANAL. YMMV. HAND.

--AT

PS - I've paid with a $100 bill and scrabbled for change. If the total due is something like $40.16, I'll cheerfully take a moment to dig up sixteen cents in change to make my change (and the job of the cashier) much nicer. AT

[AmigaTech]

A couple other comments: People have been known (I think even on RHU!) to have tried to pay with "rolls of quarters" that turn out to have an old dead battery rolled up in them. Unrolling and counting is pretty much essential.

And do take your spare change to the bank. Those coin sorting machines at the grocery store rake off some obscene percentage.

And servers never even try to flirt with me. I wonder why... *grin*

--AT

[Laughing Barista]

The change thing happened to me more often than it should have at Donuts, only for orders that cost upwards of $7 or so. Made me want to tear my hair out. I had no problem with people paying in quarters but pennies? Come on, now. At least come in the store if you're going to do that. Drive-thru is for fast and efficient service.

And the guy with the XL and med drinks reminds me of two different idiot customers. One ordered a coffee and a tea and asked which one was the tea (with the tea bag sticking out). Then one guy ordered a regular and a decaf coffee. The decaf coffee had a HUGE orange sticker on it that sad decaf and I told him this. He asked me which one was decaf.

[WMDKitty]

I'll admit to occasionally paying in coins. I always apologize and (try to) help count it out.

[cinemaslave]

Oh yeah, it is so hard not to sound sarcastic sometimes.

Like we have VIP seats which are larger than regular seats and actually say "VIP" on them in large letters.

I'll be seating a screen and someone will say "which ones are the VIP seats?"
There's not really any way to say "the big ones with "VIP" on them" and not sound like a douche.

[Aisle-Standing]

@AT: Unfortunately some banks won't count coins anymore (at least in some of the larger towns I have lived in).

If anyone lives in such an area check the website for the change machines at stores. Some of them will give a gift certificate to Amazon or something similar. In that case you get the full amount because the company providing the certificate pays the counting fee.

[Chicajojobe]

I've paid in change before, but I always count it out first and give a sheepish apology if it's more than $2.

[Pagemaster]

Tell this to the next bro who comes in looking for Texting Tart;

"No sir she isn't in today...but you aren't the first guy asking"

/runs off/

[Chris]

I was in line at a gas station the other day (inside, as a custy) and the idiot in front of me paid for 2 packs of cigs with change..........which he had to count out on the counter.........one cashier working, one register, so I had to wait for this d-bag to count out nine bucks and change.

[meow]

Are you in Ontario Canada? I'm pretty sure it's illegal to pay in more then .50 in pennies