NC Tony: Let the Punishment Fit the Custy's Crime

So, I've been thinking this over for the past few weeks and finally decided to unleash it on you, my fellow RHUers. This is unlike the Slaves Wish List or the Customer Contract. This is something totally new. This is Let the Punishment Fit The Crime.

Note to all trolls: This is a joke. I do not condone the following activities, nor do I recommend any of my fellow RHUers try any of these things, for two reasons, 1) because in some cases they are literally impossible, and b) they are all illegal. This is simply a joke so please keep your dumb ass comments to yourself.

The idea here is there are so many things crustys do that make steam billow out of our ears and all we can do is grin and bear it, because in most cases managers are idiots who will bend over backwards (easy to do with no spine) to make the crustys happy, even (or should that be especially) when it makes their employees look bad/not even the slaves fault in the first place. These are things that, if they were possible, and not illegal you would do if there were no consequences.

The crime: Parking in a handicapped spot/using a mobility cart when the only disability they have is being a lazy fuckwad.

The punishment: A baseball bat to the knees.

 *

The crime: Trying to get a slaves attention by whistling, snapping fingers, grumbling that they can't get help. Also, walking up to a slave and barking out a one word exclamation (Socks!) of what they need.

The punishment: Getting smacked in the nose with a rolled up newspaper and admonished with "Bad Crusty!", and ignored for the rest of their time in the store.

*

The crime: Pretending to know more than the slave.

The punishment: Being forced to work for the slave (for no pay) for the rest of the shift and the rest of the week (if the crime occurs on Saturday, the crusty will have to work the following week for the slave).

*

The crime: Insulting the employee's intelligence/upbringing/sexual orientation/race, etc.

The punishment: Being the guest of "honor" at a Comedy Central Roast. Except this time the roasters mean everything they say.

*

The crime: Pulling the race card.

The punishment: Does anybody remember Twilight Zone: The Movie? The first segment is called "Time Out" and is the infamous segment in which actor Vic Morrow was killed. He played a bigot who was forced to time travel, and ends up as the nationalities he hates... in the worst situations possible (for example a Jewish man in German occupied France in WWII). That's the punishment here, to be shown what REAL racism is, via time travel. Someone call Rod Serling.

*

The crime: Accusing the slave of hiding more of an out of stock item "in the back".

The punishment: Being forced to go look for said item "in the back"... with the lights off. 

*

The crime: Letting their children run around, ignoring what they're doing, but jumping down a slaves throat, when said slave stops the little monster from destroying merchandise/hurting themselves. 

The punishment: The parent will spend one week in the monkey cage at the local zoo. Not cleaning it out... living there. If the child is at fault (despite the parents attempt to control them), they'll have to live in the monkey cage for a week.
 

*

The crime: Opening boxes, and then taking an unopened box. Dropping merchandisewherever when they decide they don't want it. 

The punishment: The slave goes to the crustys house and goes through all their things, dropping them wherever. Then leaving everything (cabinets, closets) open... including the front door on the way out. 

*

The crime: Leaving trash on shelves instead of waiting to find a garbage can.

The punishment: The slave goes to the crustys house and empties the contents of the trash can all over the house.

Alternate punishment: The crusty must spend a week in the dumpster out back.
 

*

The crime: Using the fitting room as a bathroom/spreading their shit all over a bathroom stall.

The punishment: Forcing them to clean it up... with a wet nap. Then unleashing non-house trained dogs loose in their house. 

*

The crime: Making a return without a receipt or even knowing the return policy, then throwing a fit when the return cannot be processed.

The punishment: Having the return policy tattooed on the inside of their eyes in bright neon colors.

*

The crime: Being on a cellphone while checking out.

The punishment: Having two yapping Chihuahuas permanently grafted to their shoulders. If the customer is on a blue tooth, the blue tooth will be permanently grafted to their ear with Rebbecca Black's "Friday" playing on a repeat loop... with the auto-tune turned off.

*

The crime: Not placing the money in the cashier's outstretched hand.

The punishment: The cashier will also put the money down. Into a box filled with fire ants.

*

The crime: Pulling money out of their bra/underwear.

The punishment: Having a Hazmat team come in and disinfect the money, the crusty, the cart, the floor space where they're standing, and the very air around them.

*

The crime: Using a $100 bill to pay for an order that's $10 or less.

The punishment: Letting every other customer in line smack the crusty in the face... especially if it's first thing in the morning.

*

The crime: Not knowing how to use the credit/debit card reader.

The punishment: Having their card cut in half right then and there.

*

The crime: Abusing the EBT/WIC system.

The punishment: EBT/WIC benefits taken away, and being forced to live off Ramen for a month.

*

The crime: Trying to purchase alcohol/tobacco products when underage.

The punishment: Having their date of birth tattooed on their forehead.

*

The crime: Acting like the store is trying to rip the crusty off if an item rings up for the wrong price, and blaming the slave for the price of everything.

The punishment: Being forced to memorize the price of every item in the store, what's on sale including any and all specials the store is running. Then being forced to recite them back to the slave, each wrong answer results in an electric shock (think the opening scene of Ghostbusters with Bill Murray).

*

The crime: Trying to use an expired coupon/a competitors coupon/being an extreme couponer.

The punishment: Having the coupon(s) stapled to the crustys face.

*

The crime: Being entitled.

The punishment: Spending a month in boot camp (Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. Slaves choice).

*

The crime: Attempted/actual physical abuse of a retail slave.

The punishment: Being thrown into a cage with a live bear. Or (thanks to the late George Carlin for this one), being dipped in brown gravy, then thrown into a small locked room with a rabid wolverine that's high on meth.

*

The crime: Being a NAT.

The punishment: Jail. Then while the crusty is in jail, giving their address and car keys to a master criminal.

*

The crime: Threatening to get the employee fired.

The punishment: Being set on fire.

*

So, as always, I ask, what did I forget?

-NC Tony

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Nikki]

I love you.

[KittyKatzchen]

^ I concur.

Also, I may add a few things, though this list is so damned perfect.

The Crime: Sending back your perfectly made food an obscene amount of times.

The Punishment: Going to bed without dinner for a month, or being forced to live off of nothing but PB&J sandwiches for a month. Slaves choice.

*

The Crime: Leaving a shitty/no tip after excellent service. (In an area where tips are the norm.)

The Punishment: Working as a restaurant slave for a month, having to give any received tips to the slave you stiffed.

[Joe the Cigar Guy]

This dates back to my days at Lord & Taylor.

The Crime: buying obscene amounts of sale/clearance merchandise,(and trying to get an additional discount), making knock-offs of said merchandise at home and returning the entire purchase the next day.

The Punishment: being forced to wear the knock-offs (gender inappropriate and wrong size) for a year.

[greenie]

My kids (when they were little) were fairly well behaved. But my daughter would have acted up just to spend a week living with the monkeys at the zoo :)

[Cherry IScream]

"The crime: Parking in a handicapped spot/using a mobility cart when the only disability they have is being a lazy fuckwad.
The punishment: A baseball bat to the knees."

I love this one; it reminds me of one of Jeff Dunham's routines with Walter:
"He parked in a handicapped spot and then gets out. The bastard was totally fine!"
"So what did you do?"
"I ran his ass over! I made an honest man on him!"

[Riferous]

I decided a while back that the next person who didn't believe me when I came back from looking and said that I didn't have any in the back would be invited to look for themselves. If you find it, it's yours.

[DXKramer]

The crime: Saying "Hold please" or honking their horn at get a slave's attention at the drive-thru of a fast food joint.
The punishment: A conveyor belt activates under the car, sending it into a brick wall at 90 miles an hour.

The crime: Sitting at a drive-thru window for several minutes after getting their order.
The punishment: Being charged $50 a minute they are sitting there.

[TechChewToy]

For animals in particular-

The Crime: Not warning the slave/ specifically lying to the slave about whether your pet bites/scratches.

The punishment: Working in the dangerous dogs area of the local animal shelter, while wearing steak-scented hand lotion.

[Queer Geek]

You hit in on the nail as uaual Tony!

[trekkiebabe31]

Yes, this is perfect! :)

[Dev]

Awesome!

Though, admittedly, we had one customer that was awesome when I worked at the convenience store that's money was always WET. He was the garbage man, and he'd come in when he was done our garbage for a drink and a sandwich... We'd happily take his money, because we knew he was busting his ass. And the money was soaked in his wallet. It's not like he pulled it out of his ass or anything. His wallet would be genuinely soaked. We'd wash the money, dry it, and put it in the drawer at the end of the shift. I didn't hate when he'd come in, just learned to accept it.

[Hellbound Alleee]

I don't look disabled at all. I wonder how many people who don't look disabled have the same problems I do. But I go to the store, and sometimes wish I could use the electric cart, but I'm afraid what people will think of me, that I'm lazy or something. I have like three complicated diseases, and it causes me to not make enough blood to do anything significant--like walk around for 20 minutes in a store.

But I still have shit I gotta do, you know?

[Cartman]

@ Allee: Yeah, I was thinking a bit of this as well, though there are way more folks who do abuse the system as well...THOSE people should be hit with baseball bats.

[TheBrit]

You're my favourite person right now.

[Mollywobbles]

This list is GENIUS.

[Versatile Vegetarian]

I'm right there with you, Alleee. I have back problems that can almost cripple me at times, and there's not much that I can do for it. I hate the days when I have to use the cart because all the others see is a lazy fat person. :(

[LaserSpawn]

Tony, I have to concur with the many who have said it. I fuckin' love you for this post!

[Drug Store Diva]

It's too bad the blog doesn't have "like" buttons on comments...I'd be liking several.

I would like to add another option to the punishment for using a $100 bill for a less than $10 purchase.

Punishment: Custy pays an additional fee equal to the total of 10% of the bill denomination, plus 10% of the change. For example, a crusty using a $100 bill for a $1 candy bar would receive a fee of $10 for the bill plus $9.90 for the change, giving the slave $19.90 in fees. Fee charged goes to the slave who has to put up with the jerk, tax free.

[NC Tony]

@KittyKatzchen: Yeah, I totally forgot about those of us who do/have worked as servers, but that's a perfect punishment.

@Joe: Nice one. I never would have thought of that, mainly because it's never happened to me.

@TechChewToy: Steak scented hand lotion, love it!

@Hellbound Alleee, Cartman and Versatile Vegetarian: I'm of course not referring to those of you with invisible disabilities. Seeing as how you can't look at someone and be able to tell if they're disabled, maybe all handicapped spots and mobility carts should come with one of those medical droids from Star Wars. If you park in the handicap spot or take a mobility cart, the droid scans you and asks you a few basic questions. If it determines that you have a real disability that requires the space/cart then you're free to take it, otherwise walk your lazy ass around just like everyone else.

@Drug Store Diva: This is why I love posting things like this. Sometimes you guys come up with better ideas than what I had!

[Humor_Me]

I have some:

For people who bring in their PETS in general or insist they are Service Dogs: Be forced to clean the kennels of sick dogs at the humane society for a month... ON THEIR KNEES.

For those people who can't keep their hands off of Service Dogs that are working: Cattle prod every time they touch something the SD owner thinks their dog shouldn't touch or sniff in the store or at their house.

For people who complain (or insist on pointing out "Look at the doggie!", etc.) about Service Dogs or people who think a person "doesn't look disabled", bamboo shoots under their fingernails and toenails and still be forced to do their everyday chores.

For people who park haphazardly in regular spots, particularly when it is a HUGE truck or van: Be forced to do all of their driving in a Smart Car for 6 months. This includes farmers and businesses that need trucks for their livelihood.

[Serah]

@Humorme

Out of curiosity, how do you tell if someone is lying about their dog being a service animal?
Just wondering, since my aunt constantly gets harassed about her hearing dog. In addition to the usual 'you can't have a dog here, we serve food' crap, employees will accuse her of lying because 'He's too small/he barked when startled by a large piece of machinery/you doesn't look disabled/ his vest is weathered it was obviously bought off eBay etc.

[SusannahJoy]

@Serah
I've only had one time that I was convinced they were lying. The woman came in to my restaurant with her little yappy dog, asked if we allow dogs inside, and when we said no, told us he was a service dog and demanded to be sat inside. Fine. This dog had no vest (which I understand, as some people don't want their dog to have a vest), but was one of the worst behaved dog I've ever seen. Barking, jumping at the servers, getting all tangled up in his retractable leash, trying to get on the table to get at the food, nipping at passing guests' heels, etc. I know some service dogs are small, and I know some service dogs don't wear vests, and there's probably some that have forgotten their training if their owner doesn't reinforce the rules, but come on! There were so many red flags, I refuse to believe that it was all coincidence.

@Hellbound and Vegetarian
I had a friend who wasn't obviously disabled either (he'd broken his back months before and while he walked fine, if a little slower, it did hurt like hell for him to be standing/walking for very long), and he always used his tag. I think the OP is more referring to people who don't even have a tag, or are using their buddy's.

@OP
Perfect! I love all of these, especially slapping the whistlers/snappers with a rolled up newspaper. I am not a dog dammit!!

[Book Diver]

Oh, this is glorious. And thank you for clarifying about the disability, as a lady with an invisible illness.

Let's see...

The crime: Coming in for a book without knowing the title, the author, or what kind it is. Or wanting a book for an older kid of a certain age while knowing NOTHING else about them.

The punishment: Work in a university library during finals week.

[Serah]

@Susannah Joy
Awesome. I was a bit worried at first but you and Humor me sound like you definitely know what you're talking about, and that's great. My only issue is with employees who use their 'extensive knowledge' of service animals to try and refuse service to those who don't fit the disabled stereotype, but that's clearly not you. Kudos for being awesome :)

And that lady... Ugh. "Do you allow dogs?" Give me break.

[The Last Archimedean]

Great post, Tony.

My addition:

The crime: asking for a movie while knowing nothing about it and insisting the employee find it for you. "Y'know, it's the one with that guy. With the blond hair. And he made it years ago. Why can't you find it?"

The punishment: Being strapped into a chair and forced to search on IMDB until you find the movie in question. No sleeping allowed, you search until you find it.

[MA_Nightmare]

I've gotta piggyback on The Last Archimedean's idea.

The Crime: Asking for a movie while knowing nothing about it (or just being vague as hell).
The Punishment: Having my Chockbuster Bible dropped on your hands while they're laid out on the counter. Then you have to look in the book for your movie.

[MegSong23]

Crime:
Asking for more than a quarter pound SHAVED deli meat, then complaining slave isnt fast enough.

Punishment:
Shaved head

[heavy melvanova]

Small infraction, a pet peeve of mine, but still annoying:

Crime: Dropping a basketful of items on the counter, the zipping over to the debit card machine and swiping your card. I haven't even scanned ONE item yet, and they're trying to pay. Fine, you're in a hurry, but this ain't friggin Star Trek (darn!) where everything is done in a second. I can probably have it all done in about a minute or two, just chill.

Punishment: Needing a price check for each and every item, or it has no tag, or it's damaged and I need another one, then your coupons automatically expire, then I need an override and no managers are available, then my machine freezes up, then your debit/credit card is overdrawn and you're out of cash.

[Creative Slave]

LOVE LOVE LOVE this Tony!!! love everyone else's also. i have one:

Crime: complaining about the return policy, not having receipt, not having credit card/i.d. on them, crumpled or illegible receipt.

Punishment: work retail doing nothing but returns for a full year. from summer to summer so they get to experience the joys of the holidays.

[Mick Waukee]

I really liked the punishment with the yapping chihuahuas. And when they take their little yapping dog breaks, convict crusty has to listen to "yo quiero taco bell" commercials until they wake back up.

[NC Tony]

I think The Last Archimedean and MA_Nightmare had perfect ideas, but they missed the most obvious punishment. Making them watch the combined works of Uwe Boll, M. Night Shamalyan (everything he made after Unbreakable), and every low budget, Z-grade, made for SyFy shitty movie you can find. Without a break. Alternately, you can force these people to watch movies they hate (ie: A macho man watching chick flicks, a Twilight fan watching REAL vampire movies, making anyone watch Jack and Jill, etc).

[CNA Maggie May]

@NC Tony: May I say how much I ADORE the way your mind works?

And here's one of my own pet peeves:

The crime: Hitting on the person helping you out, and even after they reject you, generally being a creepy douche-canoe.

The punishment: Being followed around and hit on by a Swamp creature look-a-like; The amount of time being harassed is chosen by the retail slave based on how much you irritated the piss out of them :)

[twiztidlette]

I'm printing these out and posting them in our back room at work.

My BIGGEST pet peeve, hands down, was mentioned in this list- the women who think their bra/cleavage is an acceptable wallet substitute. That shit happened to me twice in the last few days. The first woman dumped what had to have been $100 in rolled/balled up cash out of her bra...the woman's friend looked at the cash all over the counter and went ''damn, girl, you need to get yourself a pocketbook. You got Titty City over here" (lol) The woman did apologize, but seriously? If you're not going to wear something with pockets, carry a goddamn purse.
The second day, the woman decided that instead of reaching down the front of her shirt to get to her cash, LIFTING her shirt and showing off her bra was the more appropriate way to go about things. Thank god I carry hand sanitizer with me at all times there...

[Humor_Me]

Serah: Sorry to take so long to reply, but I have horrible wifi service through my apartment complex. I haven't been able to get on for days. >: - (

Most of what Susannah joy said is true. Service Dogs do not need any type of markings (except in some cities where they require tags). A shop owner can only ask:
1) Is it a Service Dog?
2) What service/task does it perform?

They can not ask what a person's disability is, and some people choose not to tell what their dog's job is (by way of a patch, etc.). And ANY breed or mix can be a Service Dog. Granted, small dogs aren't suitable as mobility or guide dogs, but a small hearing, seizure or diabetic alert or response dog is not unheard of. As long as the dog is clean, well-mannered, and behaving appropriately, you can't tell that the dog is not a SD, but don't feel bullied by someone who immediately pulls the "lawsuit"-card when they don't get their way. They will try and educate first since we are always trying to make it easier for the next team.

Service Dogs are allowed in all public access areas as their handler except food preparation areas and sterile fields (i.e. operating room). They can also be denied in places such as private clubs and lodges, private homes and churches.

It is true that you can buy vests, harnesses, etc. on eBay, but passing your dog off as a Service Dog when it is not can result in loss of current and/or future Social Security benefits. There is NO universal certification or registration for Service Dogs, so shop owners can NOT ask for it. However, if a dog is acting inappropriately (such as described by Susannah joy) and the dog handler cannot get it under control, the shop personnel has the right to ask the dog to leave, but then complete any services WITHOUT the dog. The shop owner can not refuse service based on past experiences however.

Service Dogs go through hours and hours of training to learn how to behave in public and do the jobs they are trained for (or they should). If you ever find yourself faced with a dog that is acting inappropriately (dressed or not), give the handler time to rectify the situation (after all, they are DOGS and not robots) and if they can't get the dog under control, offer to hold their merchandise while they make other arrangements (such as taking the dog out to the car [NOT in hot weather!!] Another one of my pet peeves!) or taking the dog home and returning at a later time.

[heavy melvanova]

@twiztidlette

I had some woman pull a little wallet out of her ample bosom, and she WAS carrying a huge purse too! wtf? Not looking forward to summer in these parts, or their parts ... hahaha

[twiztidlette]

PUKE.
When my bf worked at 7-11 he had some woman runner come in and pull sweaty money out of her sports bra...I think I'd have cried.

[Nocturnesthesia]

Being the germophobe that I am, the money taken from socks or bras is probably the worst sin on the list.

On a related note, people who drag their sick crotchspawn out in public to places that are clearly inappropriate. Yes, if little scarlet fever-stricken Billy is being dragged to Wal-Mart for clearance DVDs at 11 pm on no sleep, he is going to be screaming and possibly spraying random body fluids everywhere. That's what sick children do. Not only is that kind of cruel, but it's also the reason why shit like that spreads in the first place.

Punishment: Being forced to endure an eternity of illness and/or hangover at Chuck E Cheese.

[1389]

The crime: Sneezing directly on the cashier (who is officially a part-time employee, who has very little insurance coverage, and who doesn't get sick days).

The punishment: Paying for one year of health insurance for the cashier!

[Denise]

I agree with the common theme of all of the rspsonees that Prejean is a very effective and persuasive storyteller. Her extensive knowledge of the death penalty coupled with the first hand experience of being with death row inmates as they struggle through extensive appeals and untimely death gives Sister Helen a multidimensional understanding of the whole process which few others posses. The most impressive aspect of Prejean's storytelling abilities though is the restrained and well-rounded approach she goes about presenting information. She leaves no doubt in the readers mind what her views are about the death penalty, and certain individuals that support it, but The Death of Innocents does not turn into a repetitive invective against pro-death views. This is because more likely then not Sister Helen chooses to present facts rather than opinions and does not rely on emotion driven accusations and name-calling, which many politicians and authors use, to make her arguments. Prejean writes about resisting the temptation to throw low blows at her opposition when she was asked to respond to then Governor Bush's denial of clemency to Karla Faye Tucker, Immediately after the statement, King turned to me for response. When I heard Bush say, God bless Karla Faye Tucker,' I had to struggle mightily to keep a vow I made to reverence every person, even those with whom I disagree most vehemently. Inside my soul I raged at Bush's hypocrisy, but the broadcast was live and global. (250)Sister Helen's unconditional respect for all humans makes her arguments so compelling and strong.I disagree with the criticism that Prejean does not present an opposite viewpoint, which some of the early rspsonees included. During the section where she discusses Justice Scalia, Sister Helen illustrates his viewpoints very clearly through direct quotes, his supreme court voting record, and her research on the topic. During the other sections of the book, which seem very opinionated, Prejean is arguing against prosecutors and a judicial system that claims to champion Equal Justice Under the Law and presents facts about how they are not living up to the ideals they claim to protect. It is true that many parts of the judicial system and most prosecutors are successful and honest in their protection of the law, but when evaluating a system that decides if people live or die nothing less but 100% accuracy can be accepted without dissent.

[Ronald]

One of the main things that stood out to me right away in this book and what, I think made it efvictefe, was how human it seemed. I could feel the outrage and frustrations of the author and those fighting for justice and the humanity of each person executed. It makes the stories told and the exposing of the court system more real, devastating and disturbing. When an author integrates raw human emotions into a story, it becomes more relatable to the reader. It allows the people in this book to turn from “characters” in this “story” to real human beings with real emotions. As a reader, I can tell that the death penalty is something that Sister Helen is passionate about abolishing. However, this passion is what makes Sister Helen take sides in this debate. The way she writes this book is clearly against the death penalty and I feel as though she does a good job of supporting her argument, but she doesn’t really do a great job of touching base on why people support the death penalty. For instance, in the case of Dobie Williams, Sister Helen talks a great length about flaws in the evidence and I agree that those flaws should have been enough for the courts to at least consider that he was, most likely, innocent; but what about the evidence presented against him? Did the courts really just look at Dobie, see that he was a black man with a couple scrapes on his body and convict him? Maybe this was the case, but I can’t help but thinking that there’s more to this than Sister Helen mentioned in her book. The biasness of this book was one thing I kept noticing time and time again. But maybe this is because in high school, I had a teacher that really emphasized the importance of impartiality. Every non-fiction book we ever read was, according to my teacher, as close to objectivity as he could find.I think the bigger picture of what Sister Helen is getting at here is less about innocent people that have been wrongly executed, and more about human compassion and having sympathy because no matter what crime anybody commits, we’re all human beings. The author references this idea throughout all the stories she told…of both the innocents and guilty.

[Angielina]

I am not sure if this has been mentioned on this topic yet, or if it has, I azloogipe for missing it, but I would like to weigh in that I am not a great fan of the way Prejean uses her religion seemingly as often as facts to make her case against the death penalty. One example of that is when she is criticizing Justice Scalia being a part of the machinery of death and a huge, immoral proponent of capital punishment. While she may use his own phrase against him and bring in religion on account of his religious beliefs in her argument, many times it seems that she is saying that his morals and religion should come into play during death penalty cases and should cause him to think differently, as Justice Blackmun did. I agree with most everyone here that she convincingly got the audience on her side the way she presented the allegedly-innocent O'Dell and Williams as victims of a cruel and eye-opening court system, thus the punny title (Innocents and Innocence), but upon seeing that she implied Supreme Court Justices should be influenced by personal beliefs, hopefully in turning them against the use of capital punishment, her presumptuous beliefs upset me. The law should be separate from compassion, as its duty is not to do what seems to be the right thing, but to enact justice, whatever the outcome. It is human morals and ethical dilemmas that don't allow for any sort of strict legal code regarding the death penalty in the first place. I am not saying that it can or should change, for we are not devoid of emotion and ethics, but her arguments that the way people as powerful as Supreme Court Justices should interpret the law based on religious morals, at least in Scalia's case, are upsetting.

[Preeti]

Sister Helen is an undoubtedly good wretir, but I wonder if I would have been equally affected if a book of the same strength and emotion had been written by a supporter of capital punishment. As a reader who was (and still relatively is) fairly ignorant of capital punishment, I was a perfect forum for Sister Helen to unleash her argument. Speaking from a literature standpoint, I really enjoyed her prose-like sections of the book; I didn't particularly enjoy the hard facts and statistics of the book, especially in regards to Justice Scalia. I totally understand the merits of these facts, but I find things easier to understand when they seem like fiction (which is probably counterintuitive to Sister Helen's goal for the book). She probably did use her religious slants a little too much when presenting her argument, but she is a nun after all. Had she been an accountant or something and quoting the Bible or referencing the catechisms, yeah, I'd have a problem. But she's a NUN-her faith influences everything in her life. It's her job. I dunno, I suppose I'm okay with her infusing Catholic teachings into her evidence. However, I did not always enjoy her tone it was a little too preachy/self righteous at points (mainly the latter). I don't think she presented the other sides of the argument all that fairly, but I don't think that was her goal with the book; her goal was to convince the reader that capital punishment is wrong. And I'd say she succeeded, for the most part. It's difficult for anyone to present a totally impartial view, but that wasn't even her concern. She relied on the pathos of readers, which doesn't make for the fairest argument, but it does make for an effective one.

[Auth]

Additionally, a big thing to keep in mind about her storytelling is that she has prneested only two stories of innocent men being sentenced to death, and hoping that by telling these moving stories and bashing on the death penalty, the readers will then let their imaginations do the rest for her, contemplating how many others could have been, or could be killed, when their innocence may seem apparent to everyone except the court system judges. If she had been just a slight bit less effective in how she wove the two stories, I would imagine that more people would have seen that this is only two people. For me, it might have made more of an impact if she had gone into more depth about how many people were innocent and then put do death. Even though she wouldn't have put as much detail and emotion into each story, knowing that there are many more with similar stories would have hit home that much harder with me. Prejean writes well, but it is the way that she uses the readers to make her argument effective, oftentimes without their realizing it, without using an inordinate amount of facts to make her point. I wonder the same thing as Bethany: what if someone had written the same supporting the death penalty? The author could have talked about how criminals who have been proven beyond a doubt are guilty continue to get appeals via their greedy and hated defense attorneys, making the trials last years rather than days or weeks and costing the government and taxpayers huge amounts of money, and there are far more trials like this than the ones Prejean portrays.