Taking It For Customer Service: Corporate Move To Make Things Easier Causes More Hell

Hi Ya'll- Womens Retail Slave here with some left over headache on one of my baby vacation days this month.

Our company is trying to be more customer friendly while in the past it was rules are rules. Which was funny because if they called out HQ they would just do it for them or send the crusty back into our store with a phone call.

So the company is letting us make more decisions in the process vs sending them to our 800# customer complaint line. While yes, that is great, its getting to a point where I feel like I should just drop my pants and bend over the desk.

Some of their requests are getting past the point of normal, here are a few of the jems:

"I have a coupon at home, can you take it?" 

*um a coupon for what?*

"I have a coupon on my phone, but my phone died. Can I use your phone to look it up?"

*um no.*

"My friend 6 states away told me about a coupon, can I call her LONG DISTANCE and get the code?"

*Do I look like Alexander Graham Bell? No.*

"I'm a member so I get a discount."

*I asked her what she was a member of, since we don't have any membership programs or discount cards.*

"Look me up on the internet at blah blah blah.com."

*Hi, we dont have internet.*

"I talked to someone and they said I was such a good shopper to give me a discount."

*1stly who did you magically talk to? and exactly what discount are you talking about?*

"I spend thousands of dollars, I deserve something!"

*I let you live, how does that sound!*

"I shop here all the time, I'm a regular!"

*Really I have worked here for xxx years never seen you, you're not in our system, you don't know our return policy, and have never heard/had our credit card. Um ok."

"HQ said it was ok!"

*Really someone on the opposite side of the US who closed 3 hours ago due to time zones said it was ok to do what?*

"I know your manager!"

*Really I don't know you...*

"I know your supervisor!"

*Really then give them a call, and let them tell you "no" again!*

"Is this the best price you can give me?"

*Well 1stly I am not in charge of prices, 2ndly we are not a swap meet. The price is clearly on the tag and on the sign above it.*

"Why did it ring up so much isn't it on sale?"

*Yes its on sale its not free!*

*    *   *    *

Lastly a few of my last week pet peeves which have started getting under my skin are:

1) When you shop with us we look you up by your phone number to get into our system for returns, and to get emails if we have your address. Do not talk to me like I am a moron because you have either

A) a highly stupid name

B) a highly complicated name

C) a foreign name

D) a basic or common name that INSIST is pronounced special. "Is it Susan?"  Crusty: " NO NO NO ITS Su- SHAZNE" Really really, it looks like Susan. OR "Is it De-men-tree-sha-ni-que-a-rhea?"  Crusty "EVERYTIME I COME HERE NO ONE CAN PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT I AM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN"

Really, please do..

2) If you ONLY have $40 dollars to shop, why why why do you try on 34895 things, and bring up 2343 things to the register.

Part two of this is why do you let me unhang, desensor, scan, fold, and bag all your product before you tell me -*Oh thats too much I only have $40" You can see each item ring, and see the running total. When it got up to $100 why didn't you stop, when it got to $200 why didn't you stop. No you had to let me scan it all in, for you, there is a special place in hell awaiting. 

Thats all for now, I am going to blissfully vacate my brain of any thought of work for an ENTIRE WEEK!! WHOO HOO!

--Women's Retail Slave

Comments

[Chicajojobe]

Your post reminds me to much of The Baby Store because it was pretty much always women shopping there. Just with the added bonus of all of them had a screaming kid or were pregnant and hormonal!

I'm on the other side of the name thing. Now I don't look at anyone like they're moron for getting it wrong, but is frustrating to spend your entire life correcting people. Seriously, even though I know they're being forced to I still hate being asked what my name is by retail slaves because it would just make both of us happier if they didn't!
You don't have to put up with people who are really snotty about it, but it might not be so much about thinking your a moron as just being weary of another round of:
"What's your name?"
"It's J---"
"Jenny?"
"J---"
"Jamie?"
"No, J---"
"Oh! Joanie?"
"Joanie's fine, just put that."
*gets cup of coffee and it says 'Johnny'*

One big tip that will make people happy, don't try to turn what they say into a common name.
Just repeat back exactly what they said unless it's something offensive. Normally they won't be too upset if you're a little off when repeating it, or it's the right name but spelled wrong. However, it's so irritating when they do like I described above and trying out every "normal" name they know.

[The Last Archimedean]

On those rare occasions where I actually have $$$ to shop for something other than essentials, I always keep track in my head of the cumulative price of what I'm picking up and comparing it to my budget. If I see that something will put me over, I leave it on the rack! Why is that such a difficult concept for people?

[DrugStore Diva]

I had it mostly with kids who had no sense of money at all (and were old enough that sometime in the recent past they should have been taught at least the basics). They'd come in with $5 and try to buy a $10 item, and the concept of paying sales tax just blew their minds to smithereens.

[NC Tony]

On those occasions where we have to go shopping, and I mean a major "We need to buy a lot of shit" restocking of the house we keep a running total of what we're buying (usually rounding up to the next dollar so we overestimate how much we're spending) and add it all up BEFORE we hit the registers so we can make sure we have enough money to buy everything. If not, we start deciding what we really don't need and (you might want to be sitting down for this part) ACTUALLY PUT STUFF BACK WHERE WE FOUND IT if we decide we really don't need it.

[TechTiger]

Get the name problem all the time here... seems like the more complicated a name someone has, the worse their phone is. Doesn't help when you ask them to spell it and they give you v e r y s l o w l y "J...as in joe. O as in oscar... e as in elephant." then the 14 syllable last name in a tenth of a second. "Can you spell your last name for me?" (repeats the same slow spelling of the first name and rattles off the last one again.)

Also doesn't help when they try and use phonetics... incorrectly. A friend (I Shit You Not) had someone tell him that one letter was "H as in 'eagle'".

[FuckYouForComing (previously FuckYouForCalling)]

Ugh the name thing. I work Sundays as a second job at a toy store that has loyalty cards. When we look you up by your number we are supposed to say "is it under Susan?" Or whatever the name is. If it's a weird one I avoid saying it wrong by just saying "oh found you!", but when I'm signing people up and they tell me their first name and it's either weird or has several different ways to spell it (like Brittany, Britney, etc) they alays give me attitude when I ask them to spell it for me. I'm not psychic. Wtf. Stay strong! And remember: Common sense isn't common.

[PedanticTwit]

*gems*