The Brit: It's Humid and My Hair Is Fuzzy

Welly well well.

For reasons I don't care to get into, I left Mountaineer's for greener pastures. I swear I go through jobs like crazy in this state. Anyway, after enjoying a few weeks of relaxation, moving to a new house and reacquainting myself with my research paper, I started a temp job in a completely new environment...an office. I have never worked in one before, and let me tell you, it's the place to be. I get paid $8 an hour to sit on my ass and listen to music, plus the people aren't all that bad. The company I work for is a photography company that specializes in graduation photos, and this is grad season in these parts, so I'm working hard. We deal with a lot of major universities with hundreds, sometimes thousands of graduates, and it's up to my department to put the grads' information into a computer, then send them order forms. The grads, however, can be incredibly stupid. I have one quick story on that.

The university in question is very prestigious and known for their football team. It has a lot of international students, most of whom graduate with honors. Now, our grad cards are not that complex. They have spots for your name, permanent address, parents' address if it differs, then a checklist describing hair colour, ethnicity, etc. Many people get confused by the address form for some unfuckingknown reason. I've come to the conclusion that either many graduates cannot see or understand the letter 'r' so their countries end up being varies counties in Michigan, or said counties in Michigan have risen up in rebellion and established themselves as sovereign nations. But the most hilarious thing came from one of the foreign students. There were four things on this card that didn't quite add up:

1) Michigan has now been taken over by Jerusalem.

2) Jerusalem is now its own country, having completely separated from Israel.

3) "My parents live on the main street of Jerusalem" is now a valid address and

4) Instead of a religion, "Muslim" is now an ethnicity. I would have chalked this up to the language barrier, but entering the rest of her data made me headdesk so hard that I almost knocked myself unconscious. This woman was a Ph.D student and had lived in the United States for almost 10 years, and she had a degree in English, having graduated with a minor in ESL.

And I have one last Mountaineer's story for you.

Thespian, as you may remember -if I even told you, which I may or may not have, I have a terrible memory- is English, (LIKE MEEEEE :3) and looooooves to talk about it. Fact of the matter is, he was born there and spent a whopping 2 years there before moving to the States, whereas I spent my whole life there before moving at 12. Thespian blabs on and on about English customs and how everything is different (it's not) and how the girls there are always all over him because he's American (this may be a regional thing, but where I'm from, Americans aren't exactly treated nicely) and I would bite my tongue each and every time because I really don't like causing trouble with my co-workers. One day I finally cracked though. Thespian was chatting up a pretty girl, and was being making all kinds of erroneous statements about British history, like how Henry VIII chopped Katharine of Aragon's head off (that was Anne Boleyn and Catharine Howard...fucking idiot), how Elizabeth II was the first female ruler of Britain (Elizabeth I never existed, so Cate Blanchett's popular movie and its sequel were both fictitious) and other various moronic lies . I'm majoring in Medieval Studies. I do not hesitate to correct people. So I did, in front of the girl he was trying to impress. He didn't like that too much.

--Love, kisses and I can be an arrogant bitch sometimes, TheBrit

 

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

Congrats on the new job.

I can sort of understand seeing "country" as "county", especially if you're anticipating that the county would be the logical thing to go next to whatever the other part of the form was, but.. how anyone could think "the main street of Jerusalem" is a valid street address is beyonf me.

[Damn Yankee]

If you're in AA, I really, really sympathize. If it's the other big green and white one, I'm REALLY sorry XD

Good luck, and don't let the grads (or grief, the parents!) drive you mad!

[Becky]

lol, my fiance is an attorney, and he recently encountered some law students from the school you mentioned (a group of them decided to represent someone in court). While in court, they made complete idiots of themselves. They were so bad that the prosecutor wrote a letter to their supervising professor requesting that they essentially be punished/get a bad grade/whatnot.
How can such bad students be allowed to go to an allegedly competitive school?

[Fein]

I'm glad you got an awesome, more compatible new job. But, I had to comment on one thing-- you lived your whole life there, before moving at 12? Your whole life is 12? XD

[DrugStore Diva]

I will admit to confusing county and country a few times, and I've lived in the US all of my koffmumblemumblekoff years. You really have to slow down and read some forms very carefully.

[God save the Queen]

Elizabeth I wasn't ruler of Britain, she was only queen of England.

Your point stands of course; writing Mary II, Anne and the long and glorious reign of Queen Victoria out of history like that simply won't do at all.

[maya marie]

there's a reason a certain university in ohio makes fun of a certain university in michigan.

[TheBrit]

I thank you for correcting me, GSTQ. Lizzy number One is too current for me - I start paying attention around about the turn of 1AD and stop when Anne Boleyn's head comes off. That's my personal failing >.<

I can't believe Freddy put this as my story title, ha ha!

[Music Girl]

Maybe the kid was just being a smart-ass? College kids are known for that...