Greetings Service Slaves
I have just come upon your blog many years too late! I worked in grocery on and off for a total of 7 years, and have worked retail in a women's clothing store for 2 years. Believe it or not, I actually like my job, but I still have many custy stories. This one is from my time in grocery.
We all know that customers refuse to read signs. "Coca-Cola products $2.99"? That must mean everything in this aisle is $2.99!!! "Select Tees, Buy One Get One 50% Off"? Are the pants included???
One afternoon I was ringing a Crazy Custy and her kept husband.
I was calmly ringing her order and when I rang 2 packs of raspberries, she instantly became irate and insisted they were $1.99 a pack, and since they were ringing incorrectly, she would be getting both for free.
I told her, it doesn't work that way... at the register behind custy was a particularly disgusting and hateful co-worker of mine; she always smelled like she wore the same clothes every day for a week and always had a disgusting rash all over her face. Nasty co-worker stated "You would get ONE for free and the 2nd at the corrected price."
Crazy Custy, now smug, thinking Nasty had confirmed her belief they had rung incorrectly, turns to me and says "see?"
I told her yes, that would be the case if they are, in fact, ringing incorrectly. I go check the price. What do I see?
Raspberries are not on sale whatsoever, but packs of blueberries are, with a giant sign next to the blueberries that says in big, bold letters "BLUEBERRIES $1.99."
I come back to give her the news of her illiteracy. Any normal rude custy would huff and puff a bit more or say "Well, I don't want them then", and I would take them off her order and she would be on her not-so-merry way.
But no. Crazy Custy begins to lean into my personal space as much as she can over the register and throw any verbal abuse at me she can think of.
A few minutes into this, Crazy Custy told me "I really don't like you and I hope you have a bad day."
I responded: "I don't really like you very much, either."
Kept Husband had been silent the entire transaction, bagging the groceries. At this point he simply left the store without a word. Then my manager comes out to see what is going on in between insults being flung at me.
She explains to Crazy Custy the same thing I did, that she would get one free and one for the sale price if they were in fact ringing incorrectly, but they were not. The manager points out to her "besides, these raspberries are moldy anyway!". (I was pretty sure at that point that Crazy Custy knew the raspberries were not on sale and did not want these moldy fruits, but simply was looking for any reason to have a bi-polar fit at someone.)
Then she says to me: "You know, you're just a little FAT GIRL."
As the next customer in line behind her gasps with disbelief and looks at Crazy Custy with horror, I did the only thing I could think of and flip her the bird as I continue to ring.
The customer behind the Crazy Custy says "don't listen to her, I'm a psychiatrist, she's mentally ill", as Crazy Custy exclaims to my manager "...she just gave me the finger!"
I leave the register to go to the bathroom and cry for a bit while my manager handles it, assuming I would be fired. A few minutes later the manager comes in fuming mad - at Crazy Custy! She tells me she told Crazy Custy to get out of her store and never come back and how dare she speak to her employees that way.
A few days later I was promoted.
--Former Grocery Slave

Thank Zeus for managers who back their employees. Did you remember to clone your manager and distribute a copy to every retail store in the country?
Posted by: The Last Archimedean | Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 06:55 PM
I'm so excited you posted my submission!!! I'll have to send you more soon... lol
Posted by: Jennifer Lynne Rizzo | Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 07:29 PM
Youre lucky that your Manager is such a rare diamond.
Posted by: CharlieWhiskyMike | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 12:17 AM
Freddy, fire up the cloning vats! We got another candidate. As for that nasty old crusty when she leaned into my personal space, first I would have told her to back the fuck up, and then when she fired off the "I really don't like you and I hope you have a bad day." I think I would have countered with "Well, I really, really don't like you and hope you have a horrible life."
Posted by: The Vacationing NC Tony | Wednesday, August 01, 2012 at 06:15 PM
Your manager is made of awesome and win. And well done for having the balls to tell the custy off for insulting you; I prolly would have just stared in shock and then cried. XD
Posted by: Not a Morning Person | Friday, November 02, 2012 at 08:26 AM