RHU Server Question: Don't Take Your Leftovers Home In The UK?

From Sally:

Hi RHU-ers, I've got a question from the custy's point of view.  

Luckily I'm not a retail slave at the moment, but I definitely have been so I know how frustrating it is to get stupid customers.  At the moment, I have a restaurant etiquette question.  I'm living in London at the moment doing graduate research, and I happen to live quite near a touristy area on the river.  Several weeks ago my boyfriend and I were taking an afternoon to treat ourselves and decided to get a quick lunch at a chain restaurant that is known for being a little on the expensive side but with really good food, and a lot of it, as well as fast service.  

Everything was fine until we flagged down our waitress for the check and I asked if I could take the rest of my noodles home--it was a huge portion and being a student, I definitely can't afford to waste £4 worth of noodles! But at the same time I totally understand some restaurants having weird policies, and I would have accepted just a "no."  

But this waitress squatted down at the table like she was talking to a child and told me to order off of the children's menu next time. 

So what do you think?  

I was really embarrassed and kind of offended by that--was I overreacting?  I wouldn't ask for a doggy bag at a fancy restaurant, but this was a chain, in the middle of a tourist attraction.  

I'm not really aware of the British attitude toward doggy bags as I can't afford to eat in restaurants very often, but surely a chain would get requests like that all the time? I do look quite young for my age (23) so I think people find it easier to talk down to me, and this isn't the first time it's been waitstaff either.  I once had a waiter in Belgium offer to get me an English menu after I ordered quite fluently in French, and in Holland I had a waitress patronizingly explain to me the difference between prawns and shrimp in Dutch, even though I assured her I knew what I was ordering.  

Anyone else have this problem, and do you think it's the age thing or that people overseas assume Americans are stupid?  

Thanks!  

--Sally

Comments

[Poofy]

I don't know what the "etiquette" is there, but I expect that whatever I paid for is mine. If I can't eat it all in one sitting, then I'm going to ask for a take-home container, and any restaurant who wants my business again is going to give me one. Make no mistake though, if they won't give me one, I'm still taking my food, even if I hafta put those d*mn noodles in my pocket. AND, any server that had the nerve to speak down to me would NOT be tipped...period.

[Humor_Me]

Yeah! What Poofy said! I paid for it, I'm eating it! Unless it's a buffet that says "You can't take it home" right as you walk in the door, I'm damn well taking it home with me! £4 is equal to about $8USD. I sure as hell can't afford to waste that. Take it, and tell her to GTFO.

[MahiMahi713]

Yup, yup, I am with the above comments. Save for buffets. If i have left overs, I'm taking it homes. Besides, we waste enough food as it is. Your waitress was a bitch and I would have complained. And I would leave her a tip: Next time, don't be a condescending bitch to someone who was a good customer.

[The Last Archimedean]

I'd immediately ask to speak to a manager, and then I'd ask again for a container to take my food home with as well as explain that the waitron [that's the gender-neutral term, I know it looks weird] offended me by talking to me in a rude and dismissive manner. And I'd cut the tip I was going to leave in half and leave a short note why, or give the tip to the manager and ask him/her to distribute it to the busboys and chef only.

[Kittycow]

Doggy bags do exist in Britain, I've requested them on occasion and had no problem at all. Mind you, this is Scotland, where people are... "careful" with their money! ;) I would add, though, that sometimes London feels like a country in its own right, with different rules to the rest of the UK.

Even if they had a policy of not allowing doggy bags, that still doesn't excuse your waitress treating you like that. Tips in the UK are (usually) above and beyond the minimum wage, so no tip for her, and certainly a word with the manager. Age, nationality or anything else be damned, she's employed to make your dining experience a pleasure, not to be a cow.

[Pixie]

As an American living in London and a fellow short person who looks young for her age, I can tell you here and now I have never had an issue with requesting to take food that I've already paid for home from a London eatery. I'm not sure which chain it is you're talking about, but off the top of my head I cannot think of any that have a blatant no-take-homes policy. Your server was being a massive asshat.

[Corinthian]

Really? Until I read the above comments, I'd have said that most restaurants in the UK wouldn't do the doggy bag thing. Possibily if you asked, and they had something, maybe, but they'd think it weird that you were asking.
It's just not something that is done in England.
The English (and I switch to english here because I accept that scots *may* see things differently), just wouldn't ask for a doggy bag. It doesn't occur to us. You pay your money, leave a modest tip (tips are lower, usually.), and if you ordered too much food, feel slightly guilty for not finishing it.
I hear about Americans and doggy bags and my immediate reaction is "Who DOES that?". I can see why the waitress reacted in that fashion. You did something that just isn't done.

Please note that I am in no way condoning her behavior. That was rude, snobbish, and uncalledfor. She deserved no tip, and was a massive asshat.

tl;dr: culture clash, culture clash, Massive Asshat.

[Tanz]

OK I'm a Kiwi not a Brit but I have a bunch of British friends and we're fairly Anglo-philed over here in Godzone... and I'm with Corinthian 100%. A doggy bad just seems tacky; if I have too much food it's my fault for not ordering properly KWIM? Intellectually I know there's nothing wrong with a doggy bag (I've paid for the food, after all) but it just seems wrong somehow, like flashing my knickers in public.

That said I also agree that the waitress was being an arse.

[The Last Archimedean]

I don't have a problem with the waitress simply saying politely, "No, we don't have containers to take food home in," if that is indeed the policy. But there's a HUGE difference between that statement and what she actually said. There was no need to try and humiliate the customer, that was completely uncalled for.

[Flipflap]

Disagree with you there, Corinthian! Doggy bags here are totally accepted. It means you love the food enough to want to take it home. We have a posh little Indian place up the road that we go to for special occasions, and we always order too much. So we ask to take it home and every time, we get a little business card from the kitchen saying thanks for enjoying our food! It's the nice touches.
As for the OP, tipping isn't really how we get our income (minimum wage for waitstaff is equal to minimum wage for everyone else) so I'd recommend complaining to the manager and emailing corporate. Generally our big bosses come down hard on shitty workers, especially in this climate, where they can be replaced so easily and custom is very important.

[CashierBtch]

My mom likes the Sizzler, but she cuts around the fat of her steak, and she takes it to our dog, because he needs treats too.

There are times when you order something and don't realize how big its going to be. And since some places have to-go anyway, there shouldn't be a problem.

I can't speak for the etiquette of doggy bags in the UK, but as for how the waitress treated you, I don't think that would be acceptable at any food establishment in any part of the world. She's a bitch and never tip her if you go there again

[MahiMahi713]

Honestly, if the UK doesn't do the Doggy Bag thing(though I'm thinking they do, because of comments) they really should. Like I said, we throw away food like it's no ones business and if someone is going to take home food to eat later, it's good rather than going to waste.

[zara]

I'm from England and the majority (every restaurant where I've needed one so far) have doggy bags for you to take extra food home. Regardless of that the waitress was out of order and I agree with most of the others that you should have complained

[Ted the 'Flayer]

I haven't known any English people very closely, but I know several people in Europe and they say that "doggy bags" aren't something that's really done over there.

I never take home food myself because I always forget to eat it (and it's always not very tasty after setting in my fridge for a few days and being warmed). But that's me. And either way, that server was rude.

[scarm]

Being a person with friends in food service I'd say leaving no tip even if she was an absolute tool makes you look like a cheap ass. Leave her a penny. Not the UK equivalent, a single american penny. This leaves a message far beyond anything you could think of. It ensures the server that you paid attention to their attitude and indeed did leave a tip accordingly. You could also give it to her with a smile and a wink saying "you've earned this" or something to that affect. Sorry about your service, some people just suck.

[WMDKitty]

Am I the only one who plans ahead for a doggy-bag? I know it's going to be too much food, I hate to let food go to waste, and, hey, leftovers make for the best 2:00 am snacks.

[anon]

Scarm- winking and saying you earned this while handing her a penny is rude. Just speak with the manager- don't stoop to the level of the waitress's rudeness.

[mystic_eye]

Some other points:
* They don't generally let adults order from the children's menu
* The food on the children's menu is usually not terrible nice
* Restaurants often add sugar to the food on the children's menu

Some places will allow you to order a half portion, even if it isn't on the menu. However you can't always know ahead what they consider a serving.

Also rude is rude.

[Book Baby]

I HATE to see food wast4ed. I take home any extras. the good stuff is for people, the scraps are for the dogs. With a 20YO, two 19YOs and an 18YO in the house, food is gone in a heartbeat!

As for the server? WHAT A JERK.

[Skittles]

What confuses me here the most is the people saying that getting a "doggy bag" just isn't done. Unless the menu has the exact volume of each item printed right next to the price and description, how on earth would you know if you are getting too much? The concept that you should just know this with some psychic ability is mind numbingly stupid.

Definitely wouldn't tip the server for that behavior and I would have responded with a lot of profanity imediately. Which I know is a little childdish, but that type of person relies on people feeling too embarassed to confront them.

[Larry Berry]

I will always ask for a carry out box, if I have food left, even in a fancy restaurant. If they said they don't have anything for carry out, I would understand, but I would still ask. One of my favorite local restaurants charge 35 cents more for carry out. However they're a very affordable place to begin with and I think they just choose to charge those who use the boxes, rather than spread the extra cost to the other customers, so I've never had a problem with that policy. I know nothing of England, but it appears that some of the previous posters do. The server seemed extremely rude to me, and I would not tip.

[Corinthian]

Skittles: It's an English thing. Understated modesty, not causing a fuss, stiff upper lip and all that.
The doggy bag thing is, as best I can tell, a weird americanism. As I said, in restaurants set up to deal with it, they'll probably do it, but it's not something we'd actually think of.
Most Indian/Chinese restaurants are set up to do take-away, so probably find it easy to deal with such requests. In addition, they are (generalisations ho!) typically run by foreigners, with different food cultures.
This waitress sounds like a condescending native brit, and as repeated before, was a total bitch.
In summary, I have been asked for the sterotypical british take on doggy bags, and it is this: They are something to take cake home from childrens parties. If you are using them beyond the age of about 8, you are WEIRD.
Asking for one in restaurants? Very weird, possibly rude, and thus Not Done.

[Minidoc]

@WMDKitty: No, you are not the only one who plans ahead for take-home boxes (I won't call it a doggy bag. I don't have a dog, and anyway plan to eat the stuff myself.) American restaurant portions are ridiculously huge, and I always know I won't be able to finish it. And I don't want to order off the children's menu, even if the restaurant allows it. Those tend to run to things like hot dogs and chicken strips which I do not want.

[Kittycow]

Corinthian - "very weird, possibly rude"? Whenever I've asked, I've phrased it along the lines of "I didn't realise the portions would be so big and the food has been so lovely I don't want to waste it" - I think that removes any element of rudeness. Weird, perhaps, but then again, if you've been using the right cutlery, not being a PITA to staff and other customers and generally being a good person, there's nothing wrong with a little weird. Especially if you tip well as a result!

Just a quick point regarding the availability of take-away cartons: I've asked for a doggy bag in a place that didn't have them, so the waitress wrapped the food up thoroughly in aluminium foil and popped it in a carrier bag for us. Still tasty and she got a big tip for being helpful.

(For what it's worth, I'm actually English living in Scotland so I've done this both sides of the border, too.)

[BookishGirl]

Most places in Australia you can get the leftovers to take home. With the glaring exception of Victoria, where it is not actually illegal but apparently quite frowned upon (at least in my experience there).

Over the years there have been court cases where people who have taken leftovers home have either stored them incorrectly or not re-heated them properly - and then sued the restaurant for 'bad food'. So unless you ordered the item as take-away in the first place then you will often be refused. Hopefully politely.

That said, your waitress was a cow, no doubt about it.

[Alatariel]

I wanted to comment on the Belgium comment. I'm from Belgium and I would never dare to say I speak French all that well.
I'm guessing you were in the Flemish/Dutch part of the country and your waiter felt more comfortable in English. (Which for us is more similar to our native language and most people speak it better than French)

[AlwaysWaiting]

That waitress was rude-end of.The customer should get what they ask for without cheeky comments.The fact that it is not asked for much in the UK has nothing to do with it-a polite refusal was the only other option.

On doggy bags in general-after 16 years of waiting tables in the UK I can say I've only been asked for a doggy bag twice-once literally for a dog-we had no containers so some napkins did the job, and another time in a swanky restaurant where they had never had the request before but-since the customer is always right we washed out an old ice cream tub and put their food in that-they looked horrified at first-but short of making a gift of the plate they were eating off what could we do?!

I think only places that do take away will have the containers required for a "doggy bag" as requests for taking home leftovers are so rare. There is also the food safety rule-you have to make it clear to the customer that food may not be safe to be reheated-and that it should be eaten that day,blah,blah blah-so some places might refuse if they are worried about that.
I think the average Brit- certainly outside big cities-would know what a doggy bag was-but from watching American tv- rather than first hand knowledge! Also-British restaurants in general don't have very big portions-having lived in both countries I can say that the average uk meal would be 2/3 or half that of the average us-food is much more expensive in the UK.

[MCat]

Found an interesting article about this topic.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15106212

I find this fascinating. My aunt dines out frequently and actually takes her own containers to use for leftovers. When her food arrives she immediately puts half into the container. It's her way of portion control and that habit has really helped her keep her weight down. My sister and I rarely go out because of the expense but when we do we often plan on having the leftovers the next day. But, as some others have already said, we live in the states where portions are huge and doggy bags common.

The waitress was completely rude. It doesn't matter if doggy bags "aren't done" there or not. I would go back there and make the manager aware that your wonderful dining experience was ruined when you where made to feel uncomfortable at the end. If that restaurant doesn't typically do doggy bags there could have been another way to politely tell you or an attempt to accommodate an unusual request.

[Geressen]

To awnser the question most above ignored; Yes, we assume you are all stupid.

to be fair we are right about it more than 50% of the time.

[Mari]

@Geressen: The average US IQ is 98. The average UK IQ is 100. Not much of a difference. So no, you are right "more than 50% of the time"

Also, you misspelled "answer". Everyone makes mistakes though, so I'm not going to be an asshole about it and call you stupid. I guess that's the difference between us.

[Mari]

Edit: Meant to say "You are *not* right..." but that was probably obvious.

[Nomnom]

At the nicer restaurants here in the states the server will actually put your food in the box for you when you ask for a doggy bag. Not as nice places will just hand you the box. And I always phrase it as "Could I have a box, please?" not as a doggy bag and not apologizing for "ordering too much". Lots of places only have one size of things anyway, and won't let you order off the (limited) children's menu.

I would ask for a box regardless of whether it was "done" there or not. And I would totally blame it on being American if confronted about it. As in, "Well, I'm American so get me a damn box." if she were being rude about it.

[Nomnom]

Basically if you want to play into stereotypical snooty British with me, I will be more than happy to play stereotypical ass-kicking American with you. >:)

[KattyBitch]

Wow...I'm small and don't eat very much. No reason, customs or not, I should have to feel put down at a restaurant for wanting to take my food home with me.

[Terry Everton]

Fuck, most of us are stupid. That's what public schooling is for.

[Beatles4Life]

I'm an American living in the UK, and on the few occasions I've asked for a box for my food at a restaurant, I've never had any problems or questions from the waiter or waitress.

[Mollywobbles]

The notion of "Oh, I can afford to waste this" is just stupid. Sorry, Brits, but what happened to getting the most for your money? If you can't finish it, don't waste it. Most Americans were given the "There are starving children in China/Africa/[foreign country] who would LOVE to eat what you don't want" from our mothers when we wouldn't/couldn't finish something. Why should it be any different in the UK?

Also, echoing what everyone else has said, your server was a complete cow. I would have left a tip in the form of a written note: "Next time, don't be so rude to your customers. *smiley face*"

[Jen]

In the UK you generally do not take your left-overs home. It's considered a bit weird.

You can ask for a take-out box or container for left-overs -they'll normally be a bit surprised, but will oblige. But the restaurant may not have any boxes, in which case tough.

If you ask when ordering, they should tell how the portion sizes. Sme restaurants do half-portions, some will provide two plates/sets of cutlery, some will not. Most do not like adults ordering off the kids' menu. If they're rude at this stage, leave.

Your waitress was rude.

Yes, we think Americans are stupid. it comes from their general 'the American way is the ONLY WAY TO DO IT' and their tendency to say stupid things like 'oh your English is so good, which state did you learn it in?' and their tendency to completely fail to comprehend (a) geography (b) currency (c) customs (d) almost anything...including coming on here to comment about how Americans do things in America when the question was about London, UK.

However, that gives your waitress no excuse to treat you as stupid until she has conclusive proof - and asking for a doggy bag is not proof.

One thing you should realise about London and England (not Scotland or Wales so much)is that the natives are pretty rude and unfriendly, and if you speak to a stranger they think you're going to kill them. Sorry about that. Try and educate us a bit in how to talk to strangers while you're here, and i hope you have more pleasant waiters/esses next time.

[Danielle]

If its the place I'm thinking of, all of the chain does doggy bags. Waitress was just rude no tip for her

[Larry Berry]

"If you ask when ordering, they should tell how the portion sizes."

Yeah, but then you're going to end up asking the server, "how many grams is this.... Okay, how about this, and this, and this, and this, and this..."

And personally I do not order food based on the size of the portion, but on what I want to eat. If the food that sounds good to me comes in a portion larger than I am hungry for, I am not going to order the crap on a cracker, just because it is the proper size for my appetite.

Now if there are various portions or sizes available (1/2 or full, small, medium, large) then it makes sense, but I'm ordering what I want to eat, not what is the proper size to eat.

[Chuckles]

If I visited any restaurant, anywhere, that would not let me take my leftovers home, this would be my response...

"That's fine. Then I will just sit here and finish my meal. However, since I'm not hungry right now, it will probably take me another 2 or 3 hours to finish. Oh, you're busy and need my table? Well, either get me a to-go container, or lose out on a bunch of customers."

[Skittles]

Corinthian: I wasn't arguing over whether or not it was a cultural thing I was pointing out the blindingly stupid concept of waisting food thing. Couple that with not being able to know exactly how much food you are getting in a serving, and it makes even less sense to consider doggy bags rude or weird.
There are lots of American customs that are ridiculous as well I'm not about to defend them, just because they are customary. I can't think of any off han,d but then again, I will freely admit that I am too much of an ass to care about following stupid customs.

[Jessyy]

One of the restaurants I went to in London, I had the cook come out after we had finished asking if everything was okay, because the portion size had been just that bit too big for me and I'd left some.

My family and I have asked for doggy bags in a large number of places; England, Scotland, America, mainland Europe etc and never been refused. Okay, we had to explain to some waitstaff what we meant, but they always were more than happy to let us take it home.

[OddsAndEnds]

I've lived in London my whole life and I've worked in the food industry for the last three years.
Asking for doggy bags (or more usually just to take food home) isn't weird, at least not in the places I've worked. It doesn't happen too often but when it does I've always been polite and tried to accommodate them.
Most pubs and restaurants don't keep carry out containers but I've worked in average pubs and fancy restaurants and we tend to explain we have nothing to put the food in but we can wrap it in tin foil to take home which is usually fine with people.
The waitress was rude and I would have said then and there to her face that i was offended by her attitude and not tipped (or tried to just tip busboys)
I haven't met anyone in any of my jobs that would have thought the idea of not wasting food was weird and in fact one of things i hate about working in restaurant is throwing away loads of perfectly good food.

[IcedSweets]

I think it depends on where abouts you are. I grew up and lived all my life not near a big city.

I think part of it is still the mentality (at least ingrained into everyone in my family) leftover from rationing and the war that you finish everything on your plate - starving children in Africa and all that.

If we wanted to take something home (as mentioned already) - my grandmother would cut the fat off of her steak etc and take it home for the dog, it would get wrapped in a napkin and discretely slipped into a bag.

When my now-husband visited from America and asked for a to-go box when we ate out he was met with baffled stares and confused "well, we'll see what we can find"

Of course, now I'm living in America, I have embraced to-go boxes - my weight was not happy with my continuing to eat everything on my plate ;-)

Either way - whether it's "done" in England or not, that waitress was plain rude!

[Bagpuss]

I agree with previous posters (I'm British)
Portions here tend to be smaller, and it's not common to take leftovers home, but the waitress was definitely rude and inappropriate.

I wouldn't necassarily expect a restaurant to have containers, as it's not a common request, but I would expect either a polite "we don't have containers but can wrap it in foil for you" or a polite "I'm sorry, we're not able to do that".

I would complain. The waitress's ATTITUDE was the problem, not the specific issue

[Chicajojobe]

This is coming from someone who half of her family is first generation immigrants from the UK, but this is one cultural quirk I was not familiar with and, frankly, based on the opinions expressed here I think it's stupid.

Not causing a fuss? Because it's bringing a box to the table is such a hardship?
Besides, if an American tourist did finish an entire huge meal wouldn't the server laugh about the typical fat, greedy American?
As tacky as flashing your underwear in public? Not wanting to throw away perfectly good food, but also not wanting to overeat is equivalent to flashing your underwear? Really?
At high end restaurants here they even do carry out boxes if you don't finish all your food. I'm not sure if any actually do fold it into a swan, or if that's just on tv, but I hope there are high end restaurants that fold your take out into fancy shapes.

And, yes, as people mentioned. Some will actually plan to take half their meal home because they know a portion half the size of the one they will be served is enough for them. Also, in many restaurants childrens' menus have an age limit, and the food options on the childrens' menu are all crap!

Sorry, I usually get both sides on cultural differences between Brits and Americans, but this is one time when the American side of me wins hands down.

[Cherry IScream]

I live in the UK (London in fact) and regularly ask for a doggie bag (or rather to get my leftovers "boxed up") if more than 25% of my meal is left over and I particularly enjoyed it. So all the people on both sides of the pond generalising need to stop please. No two establishments are the same.

That waitress was a bitch though. If she'd ever spoken to me like that I'd have told her to bring over her manager so I could explain why I wouldn't be tipping that evening.