Convenience Store Hell: The Pot Brownie Shift

From Dev:

So, RHU, I've got some great news! I wrote a book about my time at the pornstore, and I've gotten an offer! When all the details are hammered out, you guys will be the first to know! But, in the meantime, I'm going to share with you a story that about my time at the convenience store.

Now, the place I worked at sold baked goods on top of breakfast sandwiches, hoagies, coffee, and other convenience store items (cigarettes, assorted snacks, candy bars, and drinks.) I was the morning shift and the assistant manager, but to pick up some extra cash I would come in on Sunday and make the baked goods for Monday/Tuesday.

This particular week, I had to have a root canal and an extraction on Friday (I went after my shift was done,) so my boss insisted I take Sunday off to rest so that I could be fresh faced and doe-eyed for Monday morning.

I carefully prepared EVERYTHING for the boys that normally worked Sundays, because my boss told them to make the cookies and muffins. I spent a good while prepping everything so that all they had to do was slap it in the oven.

They were also supposed to do their normal duties, such as prepping the coffee for the next morning, doing the dishes and putting them away, stocking the cooler, and pulling out the croissants for the breakfast sandwiches. I have my dental work done, spent the entire weekend in a Percocet-fueled coma, and I was still going to be hurting Monday.

S, my co-worker for 2 days a week (she worked Friday-Monday while I worked Monday-Friday,) offered to do all the work and let me come in right at open so that I could get a little more shut-eye. I was so grateful to her, and gladly accepted (and bought her a few of her favorite Bingo scratch-offs to show it!) S was a stay-at-home Mom who was returning to the workforce after 20+ years of raising children, and her husband would drop her off an hour before she had to be there (it was on his way to work.)

S calls me two hours before I have to be there, frantic. They hadn't pulled the croissants, which were in the deep freezer, they hadn't stocked the cooler, they hadn't stocked the coffee, or done the baking. I only lived across the street, so I got there within 5 minutes. With both of us working our asses off, the croissants defrosted in the oven instead of how we normally made them, I was barely able to get the muffins and cookies out before the customers started coming in. We were also able to get the cooler stocked and the coffee prepared.

When I'm back in the dish room, I also notice something strange: The dish drainer, which was also their job to put the dishes away after the shift, was full. None of the in-store baking was done, but there were mixing bowls and pans in the drainer. This is something that just keeps sticking out in my head.

Now, I'm steaming mad. My boss was going to give them a little something extra for taking over my job for the weekend, and I was going to make damned sure that he didn't! He lived above the store, and when he called down for one of us to bring him coffee and take out his dog, I made sure I was the one to do it.

S, was perfectly fine with it, as she was as steamed as I was. Normally, my boss would've caught it, but he spent the evening with his girlfriend (until very late.) He assured me that he wasn't going to give them the bonus, and that we were to make sure we logged the extra hours on our shift sheets.

The day goes by, and K comes in first. P came second, but he was always about 5-10 minutes late.

Me: So... what happened last night? Did you guys get swamped?

K: Nah, it was pretty slow last night.

Me: So... why wasn't anything done?

K: Why should we have to do your job?

Me: Because you were getting paid extra to do it...

K: So? I do enough that I should get that bonus anyway.

Me: You didn't even do your normal duties, much less enough to warrant a bonus. Why was the dish drainer full?

P: R (a mutual friend of all of us except for S) came over with an ounce and we made brownies.

Me: You made pot brownies in the store, which your boss lives above? The store in which we give the police free coffee so that they'll come and check on us on a regular basis? And you neglected your regular duties to do this?

P: When you word it like that, it seems like a stupid idea...

S: *points to me* You also told the assistant manager, who is the manager's daughter, that you decided to blow off your work so that you could get high in the store. K was my boyfriend at the time (live-in, at that.) Which meant that he knew how much pain I had been in all weekend and STILL decided to blow off his work.

S and I opened our paychecks that Friday to discover a crisp $20 in each of our checks and a had written note from our boss, telling us how much he appreciated our hard work.

When we looked at our pay as well, we noticed that we had been given a .50 cent raise! Now, my memory is faulty (but my mother reads everything I write [she's the best critic,] and I had more percocet in my system than Ozzy Osbourne during the Osbournes) and I thought they were fired for this time.

Mom reminded that it was the SECOND time they were caught doing it that they were fired... they were intentionally waiting for a time my boss was out for long periods of time (out with his girlfriend... I don't WANT to know what happened when he went to Florida!) We were so short of staff that it would've averaged 1 employee per shift, as my boss was disabled and about as useful being a regular employee as a car with no engine, and my boss would've lost money because there was no way to keep us open the amount of hours we needed (he was awesome to work for! I miss being his employee a lot!)

He at first gave them a stern talking to, and told them to never do it again, and he's spare their jobs. Sadly, they didn't heed his warning and my Mom came over for milk when we had run out. She caught them both slacking off, nothing done at under an hour before closing, and the place REEKED of weed. She promptly fired them both and called our boss to let him know.

What I relayed was our first go around with the Doobie Brothers. The one was busted for possession over a week later.

--<3 Dev

Comments

[shoehaven]

Yep. Thought this sounded familiar. Loved this story on notalwaysworking.com and enjoyed the extended version here.

Congrats on your book!

[Hellbound Alleee]

Yeah, I read this on that site too. Nice to read the full version!

[BookAce]

I knew this story sounded familiar, I saw it on Not Always Working as well! Love getting to hear the extra detailed version. Makes it even better. ;)

[The Last Archimedean]

Wow.

*shakes head in confusion*

Why would anyone think making pot brownies at work and getting high while you're supposed to be doing your job is in any way, shape or form a good idea?

[Dev]

Thanks guys! notalwaysright is actually how I found RHU. I love both sites and read them daily. When notalwaysworking started, it just went into my rotation.

That isn't the first time K blew off work, either. I once ended up staying from open to close because he decided to not come back from his sister's... I should've known better! Never date someone you work with (though he got his job because I worked there.)

[RageFingers]

Same. Notalwaysright.com is a great site and I sent it and this one to all of my retail peers. That said, I blanked when I read it. More information than I remembered but still so awesome!

[Sales Agent Guy]

Making pot brownies at WORK?! These guys deserved to be fired.

[Mollywobbles]

I also discovered this site through notalwaysright, and I read it, notalwaysworking, notalwaysromantic and notalwaysrelated every day. That said, when I saw the title of this entry, I went, "Huh. Wonder if this is similar to that notalwaysworking story." As I continued reading it, I went from that to "This sounds REALLY familiar" to "I knew it, this is the SAME STORY!"

Yeah, those guys were asking to get fired. Opening sucks anyway, but having to scramble because your stoner co-workers didn't do their jobs the night before on top of having just had a tooth pulled and being slightly hungover from the pain pills must have been an absolute nightmare.

[TimmieHoe]

Haha this was totally familiar and I was about to say "OMG FAKE YOU STOLEZ IT" *rageface* but now I know you actually wrote both of them haha....

I would have done more than fired them when you found out, I would have called the cops as well instead of waiting until one got caught with possession. But still who in their right mind would bake pot brownies WHERE THEY WORK!? Good god I sometimes wonder where humanity is heading...

[The Last Archimedean]

I don't know where we're heading, Timmie, but we do seem to be going there in a giant handbasket... *sigh*

[Spider]

*headdesk*

Just when I think we're running out of ways to be stupid...

[Skittles]

Yep and for all of the people who think pot does no damage to their brain, just let them read this story.

[register troll]

wow... and i thought id heard it all *facepalm* my faith in humanity just dropped ten more points...