The Brit's Hope For a Horrible Pregnant Coworker

More drama than the Metropolitan Opera!

I need a goddamn vacation. 

Those of you on Facebook have heard the short version of this story. I was so flabbergasted when it happened that I couldn't comprehend it, so here it is a day later.

Shanaynay has been here for two years. The first night I was hired, Rude's wife informed me that Shanaynay was leaving because she was with child (it's sort of obvious she is) and that I would take over her shifts when she did. Later that night a customer asked why I was back, and I told him the circumstances. The important thing to note here is that the word "replacement" never crossed my lips. Now, telling this one, lone customer probably wasn't a good idea. But I'm a bit daft when it comes to that stuff and I didn't consider it a big deal, nor do I now.

Shanaynay considered it a big deal. So big, in fact, that OVER A WEEK FUCKING LATER she texted me, telling me I'm a "big mouthed bitch", how DARE I tell people she's pregnant (again, she's showing at this point, and she wears skin tight shirts) and how could I ever replace HER, for I am lazy and will be fired soon (because that's totally her decision apparently). Several other expletives and idiocy followed. My responses were along the lines of "yeah yeah yeah" until she said that I gossiped about her. I found that hilarious. I said "I don't gossip about you because I honestly don't think about you. You are such a nonentity in my life that if I saw you in the street I probably wouldn't notice you." That angered her and she came back with the clever line of "BITCH!!!!!!" I told her to lose my number and eventually she stopped screeching at me.

Her boyfriend and potential father to the bastard in her belly came in today. I was preparing the garlic knots and he looked at me, smiling like we were best mates, and said "So you're telling customers that Shanaynay is leaving?" I'm not stupid. Mummy and Daddy Brit did not raise an idiot. I knew he was trying to get dirt on me so he could tell either Rude (who mentioned it to me in passing and just politely told me not to do it again) or Shanaynay who would probably attempt to eat my eyes so I just shook my head, smiled, and went back to work.

You know something? I hope that baby is smart. I hope it studies hard, gets into a good school, and goes into a good career field, making lots of money. And I hope it never calls or visits its mother, never invites her to its wedding, and never tells her it's having a child of its own. THAT is what I hope.

Love, kisses and sad shakes of the head,

--TheBrit

 

Comments

[Hellgreens Slave]

Lmfao it's sad when people take stuff out of context & automatically assume this big negative thing out of a comment... and then blow it up to create drama because they're insecure, bored, immature, etc whatever. I see it too often and it's because people never grew out of that high school phase. I hope they do realize they don't need her while she's out... but she's clearly not smart enough to realize it's illegal to fire someone for having a kid so there's no true way you're her actual replacement ah but then again some people will never amount to much in life & ya just have to accept that this is how they'll be forever & the only thing you can do is just achieve more hahaha.

[Lamer]

Holy hell, get her a pack of condoms for her baby shower.

[The Last Archimedean]

Better yet, buy her a brain that works.

[photoslave]

I am praying to every God/Mythical Creature/Flying Spaghetti Monster out there that this baby does completely the opposite of whatever that bitch teaches them (cuz obviously she's not going to teach them anything good or useful). I feel sorry for the kid, honestly.

[NC Tony]

I second (and third and forth and fifth) The Brits wish for the baby to grow up to be smarter than his/her dumbass parents and is smart enough to cut two useless people like that out of his/her life when s/he is old enough to break out on their own.

[Queer Geek]

This is why I'm supporting Pro-Choice. Some people should never breed.