Customer Abuse: Attendant Called Gay Slur, Then Had To Apologize To Custys For His Tone

Hey RHU,

Freddy here!

I just received a hair-raising tale from Melpomene about a coworker who was called faggot by a custy.

I can't tell you how many times at how many jobs in my life I've been called faggot. I didn't have the retail balls to key the car that said that to me when I worked at the Drive-In or do something bad to the food for some asshole in the Long John Silvers Drive-thru - (little known fact: I worked there for several months in high school and hated every minute!) I went on to movie theaters next and they were a lot of fun but the angry-custy-fag calling came with it. And even when I got to all the department stores I was called fag so many times I don't have enough fingers or toes to count them all. It wasn't unusual to be called that within seconds at The Big Fancy if I happen to be refusing a known Nasty Ass Thief! I'm sure Queer Geek can relate! And any other gay man that has worked in a department store. Or served food at a restaurant. Or cashiered in grocery store. Or took calls at a Call Center. The list goes on.

In my new book Return To The Big Fancy - the sequel to Retail Hell - there is a chapter called Night of a Thousand N.A.T.s  and it takes place days before Halloween. Unfortunately for me, Halloween comes early one Friday night at The Big Fancy as my coworker Jeremy (a Ryan Seacrest/Mario Lopez metrosexual type everyone thinks is gay) and I are swarmed by one NAT after another. Towards the end of the nasty infestation comes an extremely ugly homophobic scene with quite a mouthy NAT. While written in my snarky satirical way, there is nothing funny about about the entitlement, verbal abuse and bullying from any of those custys. They treated me like a subhuman and I, nor anyone else that works in service, should have to be subjected to that by ANYONE.  I had a friend who was attacked while working in a high end department store in the middle of the afternoon. She was groped and fondled and pinned against racks by a drunk. Thank God for cameras or the douchebag would have gotten away with it and the store acted horribly when it happened. 

And the sad part of all this abuse that SO MANY OF YOU have experienced yourselves and written about it here on RHU, is that it's happening more and more frequently. While I will be talking about this a lot in the coming months in relation to Return to The Big Fancy, a solution I will always be an advocate of is speaking up. If you don't want to approach Crazy Custy Bitch with a cannibalistic look in her eyes, talk to management after it's over. Don't ever assume while you are walking out the door that the person you just saw get shit all over by some horrible custy will not get fired or reprimanded when they didn't deserve it. Go to the Store Manager, Corporation, or Owner and let them know what really happened.

As in the story you are about to read, I had many good custys come to my aid when I was being abused by a customer. So here is the story about the Fitting Room attendant named Favorite. When I read it, it hit me where I lived. And the part about having to be apologetic for tone and actually continue helping someone who was verbally abusive to me was all too real.

--Freddy

 

From Melpomene:

"Can you stay in here for a minute?"

As soon as my favorite fitting room worker murmured that when I went to check on them, I knew something must have happened and he was expecting worse.

So of course, I agreed to stay.

The next I hear is him saying "There is a queue, I'm going to have to ask you to wait", so I decided to move closer to the desk to support him, but before I can get rid of the armful of folded jeans I'm holding, I hear him again:

"Will you WAIT? I told you there's a queue!"

Now Favorite doesn't lose his temper often, he's a very polite and soft spoken guy, and he's always professional. For him to snap that at a customer means something.

So I instantly drop the jeans (everywhere) and go out to tell him to get off the floor and calm down. Too late. He's upset Bitch, and she kicks off. Shouting and swearing 'how dare you speak to me like that', screaming she'll have him fired, and telling everyone within a 30mile radius that if he was one of her kids she'd have thumped him.

Obviously past the point of no return, Favorite calmly said "Go on then" before I managed to push him out of the fitting rooms, through the throng of people waiting to get in, and call to another staff member to get onto the desk while I also tried to help a couple of customers.

Bitch stormed off screaming about how she was going to get a manager and have Favorite fired (apparently I'm not a good enough choice to bitch at). I started to go after Favorite, but a couple of other customers grabbed me first.

"We just wanted to let you know what happened - he was in NO WAY to blame for that."

They went on to tell me that on the way in to the fitting rooms Bitch and her daughter were pushing and shoving everyone, trying to barge past Favorite, and yelling that they "shouldn't have to fucking wait in fucking line" (I'm sorry, at what point did Primevil become a hot celebrity spot? It's cheap high street, and everyone shopping there is equal to everyone else there). In addition to generally being entitled, arrogant and aggressive bitches, I was informed that these two skanks, having twatted around and refused to take the fitting room tag (upon which point Favorite, somewhat exasperated, apparently told them to "just take the tag, and go in"), both shoved past him making bitchy comments. I am not sure if Favorite heard what the other customers heard, but I think it unlikely that he'd miss it as they barged past him.

When I was told what was said I was so angry I was shaking with rage, and nearly sick.

"How dare he tell us what to do? Fucking faggot."

Unfortunately, by the time I found Bitch and the manager she was complaining to, Favorite was apologizing to her for having snapped at her. He chose his words very carefully, apologizing for the fact that she was offended by the way he snapped at her (he's a much stronger person than I am).

I did let the manager know exactly what I'd been told, and she's not taking it any further. We both let Favorite know we felt he was in the right, and I have told him if Bitch ever comes in the store again, he should leave the  floor and call myself and security. I will make sure she is removed from the store.

So, all in all an eventful five minutes. A homophobic bitch threatened and verbally abused one of my staff (having jumped to the misconception that he's gay), and he ended up apologizing to her.

There is so much wrong with that.

--Melpomene

 

 

Comments

[Durango Deli Slave]

I have to say, that's probably the worst part of retail... The bullying. I always secretly hope that I see some of these entitiled ass holes on the street, (small towns can be good sometimes), because I know they can't possibly treat people on the street like they treat retail slaves. I'd love to show them just how MY personality takes a 180 when I leave the store, as well.

[The Last Archimedean]

Competent management will strictly enforce a no bullying rule and ban the customers from the store who disrespect the employees.

[Queer Geek]

I've been fortunate enough not to have the gay slur hurled at me. *knock on wood* However, I have heard it in passing with custys along with several horrible other slurs that are not sexuality relate. What it boils down to is mutual respect.

I find it appalling that companies allow this kind of behavior from consumers to continue. One it is sexual harrassment and if I was the employee, I would take it with Human Resources or the higher ups and file a complaint. Companies are afraid to get sued and make employees go through lengthy training meetings dealing with the issue.

I hope this poor guy found a better job where the management was not oblivious and actually dealt with employee customer issues. Other than that, I'm hoping karma gets these two bitches and they have to face the wrath of working in the retail industry.

[Melpomene]

The manager wasn't aware of what Bitch had said until after Favourite apologised for his tone. She took him straight upstairs to make sure he was ok, and see if he wanted to make any formal report about it to get the woman barred from the store, but he was fairly unfazed by everything.

We've documented everything, so that if Bitch makes a complaint to head office, we can counter it with records of her behaviour, and the manager, the store manager and myself will all fight Favourite's corner if she does complain. As it is, I'm trying to convince him to go for another role within the store (one of the perks is an air conditioned office, the radio on all day, and little to no customer interaction), a lot of people will be applying for it, but most of the management team think he'd be best (I think he's a general favourite, not just mine). He knows how much we think of him, and he knows I will always be on his side.
I never want that woman in the store again, and will be getting security to escort her out if ever I see her again.

[trekkiebabe]

I have noticed a general increase in bullying by customers, I myself had some guy just go off on me when I asked if he had a member card, he stormed off and the store manager "just happened" to be right there. She asked me what had happened and I told her, and her reply was "Well, sometimes you've just got to apologize more than once" and she walked off.

Not only that, but I was bullied as a child too, thankfully I've learned to toughen up and I've even said things back to them, but it gives me hope when I hear stories about managers who actually stand behind their employees.

[LaserSpawn]

ugh, bullies suck. they think that the rules don't apply to them and that their shit don't stink. I had a guy last night that i had to refuse a sale of tobacco to because his ID wasn't an acceptable form per my company's policy. his reply was to give me the finger. i was offended by the gesture(who wouldn't), and in a momentary lapse in judgement, i said to him, "i know i'm number one, asshole!" they complained to my managers about it. the managers actually took my side regarding policy, but i still got a write up for calling the guy out on his attitude. i didn't get to apologize, but at least my managers didn't throw me under the bus.

[NC Tony]

People like this crusty really need to be taken down a peg, several pegs actually. Most of the time when I hear about homophobic or racist customers, I just want five minutes alone with them and issue a no consequences (against me) ass kicking. The other time I'm just hoping to be around (or hear about it) when karma bites them squarely in their ass. I hope you not only get her thrown out the next time she comes in, but get her banned. Nobody should have to put up with assholes like that just because of the way they were born.

[Chicajojobe]

The sad part is that this is something everyone can relate to even if you aren't gay because no matter what someone will say something unnecessarily hateful about you.
As all the females here will tell you in retail it's pretty much inevitable that you'll eventually be called a bitch or a whore or any other colorful term.
Same for minorities with ethnic and racial slurs, I'm sure.

The way we treat each other is really just awful.

[Michael]

Y'know, there's no requirement to be queer to get called a faggot. I'm straight, but because I've always been skinny and pale with thick glasses, it was the insult of choice to be hurled at me... in grade school, high school, even college, and at every location I've worked when I told someone "No, that's against policy."

It doesn't matter that I'm 6'2". It doesn't matter that I used to load cement into trucks for a living. It doesn't matter how many girlfriends I've had, or how hot they were. I'm skinny, pale, nearsighted, and speak intelligently, so I'm a faggot.

Each time I'm called that, I sincerely hope for the hateful subperson to die in a fire before they can procreate. Sadly, the most common type of person to use this language had their first children before being old enough to drive...

[Jami]

I've never been called that myself, though people have mistakenly thought I'm a lesbian because I can be masculine in many ways. (I have 3 older brothers and no sisters. So yeah, I have some guyish traits. But they usually say "Are you a lesbian" not bully me on that. At least not to my face.) But I've had friends or favorite celebs called that. When I'm not utterly shocked/disgusted, I usually confuse the attacker by reminding them that those terms really mean a bundle of fire wood or a piece of burning coal. Or if it's the shorter version I'll ask, "So, they're a cigarette?"

The look of confusion on the attacker's face is usually priceless.

[BrianTheWerewolf]

I am so sorry this happened. There is no excuse for any insults being hurled. I've worked in fast food, store retail and telephone customer service.

In fast food I was never called a faggot. In store retail I was never called a faggot, not even over the phone. I've been with friends or people that have been directly called a faggot to their faces or been in a group of people talking and chatting and all of a sudden they start talking about faggots and queers not realizing that I am in fact, a faggot and queer myself.

I can't count the times I've had to bite my tongue in those instances because I cared about the people in question. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to hold one's composure in the face of stranger who pulls that stunt.

Some of the other comments have made me really sit back and think about how people's perceptions of other people really are influenced by stereotypes. The stereotype of a gay man is a skinny, hyper intelligent, fashionably dressed and knowledge attractive yet feminine male.

When this image is encountered, one automatically assumes "GAY" and thats the insult that gets hurled. I suppose that's why I've never been called faggot to my face...I don't fit the gay stereotype...I'm a big buy, bearded, not fashionably dressed and don't talk much.

But it doesn't matter what you look like. The current management and corporate attitude towards customers bullying employees and then making the employees apologize to the customer sicken me.

If that bitch spawn ever returns, please haul her ass out the door with security and taze her just for fun.

As a side note, I did have a recent experience with a faggot screamer. Sam and I were driving through town the other day and as we passed the bank we heard someone scream "FAGGOTS!" but we never found out who it was.

Lovely world, eh?

[Zmidponk]

@ Jami

In a similar vein, there are certain advantages to living this side of the pond. One time I heard this insult being yelled at somebody in a supermarket, I just stepped in and said to the guy 'aisle 7'. That was the aisle these were in:

http://www.tesco.com/groceries/Product/Details/?id=261732978

[Skittles]

That's pretty fucked up. It is a trend that I've been noticing and I wish there would be some laws passed to protect employees rights. Just because someone is working shouldn't mean they have no rights.

[NC Tony]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I were ever forced to apologize to a customer (who was being an asshole to me while I was biting my tongue and fighting back the urge to punch them into unconsciousness), it would be the most insincere, sarcastic apology I could muster, not to mention the fact that I wouldn't mean it. I'd most likely roll my eyes a little and say "Yeah, I'm sorry."