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derrr

...This may sound cruel, but I've been proposing for years that the water needs to have solvents dumped in it that cause infertility, and upon applicants passing a general IQ test and a mental health evaluation, they get the neutralizer that cancels out the effects of said sterilizing agent.

Yup. Course it'd have to be something that wouldn't cause long term infertility or fetal damage, because that's not the point of it and using that, then, would be cruel.

From my experience, shitty parents are either too damn stupid to score over a 60 on a basic IQ test or they're nuts. And too often, they're both.

trekkiebabe

Yeah, I personally don't want kids but I love the ones that come up at the bookstore, love talking to them! They get so excited about reading, and most of the time their parents are great, but sometimes, wow! Some of the people I saw at my last job should have never had kids, and I do agree that an IQ test or making prospective parents take classes in childcare should be mandatory.

LadyBelle

"The baby of course continues to cry, and the "mother" reaches over to lightly bounce the carseat before full out WHINING, "Oh my godddd, shut uuuuup! You weren't like this when you were borrrrrnnnn.""

"Yes, newborns can't communicate anything. Isn't it great your baby is acting his age and isn't slow"

Might not do any good, but for some parents the reminder that babies act like babies and others realize it instead of judging them can guilt them into behaving, at least in public.

The worst ones are the couples that think, gee he was so great as a newborn, let's have another one of those. Because, you know, babies and kittens never grow or anything.

Legal Minion

I've been guilty of telling my child to shut up. I admit it. But never out of the blue; only when she's been waking up every hour due to teething or an ear infection and I've had a serious lack of REM sleep and am also lacking common sense and any degree of logic/coherence. It's hard to remember, "She's just a baby, she's not doing this on purpose" when you've gotten three sessions of 45-minute sleep over the past four hours since you first tried to go to bed, after working a full-time day.

Babies cry. Trufax. Parenting is tough sometimes.

banja

Legal Minion - though it sounds hypocritical for me to say so after my post, I don't blame you. Parenting is tough, and it's a job that can't be taken lightly (I know I'm not ready for anything like that!). But I imagine you would never say it to a child if you were completely lucid, right? I mean, it sounds like you were completely exhausted and I can't hold that against you.

Fingers

Yea, Legal Minion, no one blames any parent in that situation.

These people man.. My husband and I want a spawnling of our own but right now, unfortunately, that'll never happen. We'll have to go to a specialist and hope we have a chance still.

These people make me sick. I understand being frustrated- I really do... but if you're BOTH that exhausted that you're snapping at a newborn in public when clearly he needs something- or even a nine month old- you're doing it all wrong and your heart isn't quite in the right place.

Muttering incoherently as you bounce a kid to try and please them until you get to a bottle or a changing station (so you don't have to change 'em on the turn tables at the grocery store- been there, seen that, whoaaaa) is completely acceptable in my book.

banja

Fingers - according to other customers, these bozos just ignored their baby as it cried. They would stand there, poring over boxes, and the baby would just cry. My other customers told me how much it broke their hearts, and it broke mine too.

Fluffernutter

As a 22-year-old single working mum of a 7mo old son, THANK YOU for this! I'm mostly a lurker, not a commenter, but occasionally (mostly for Terry Everton, and now for you), I pipe up.

You obviously are more informed on child development than most people your (and my own) age, and that is a DAMN GOOD THING. I've been working, and working with kids, since I was 14- au pair, mother's helper, autism spectrum kids, 6mo-16 years, homeless/at-risk, you name it I've seen it, and I know there's a helluva lot more I haven't. One thing that never changes, though, is that every kid is different and every developmental stage is different.

If you yell at a child, it'll WORSEN because all the kid will hear is loud noise. ESPECIALLY at under 2 months. Grahhh. If you explode and the child reacts to the stressor, even if you're exhausted and punchy, the excuse doesn't = the reason. It's a cycle, and one that needs to not be started in the first place. Makes me want to falcon punch some unsavory not-ladies.

People like that are the reason people like me (gainfully employed, live in my own apt, getting my emt certification & 1yr away from my B.S. degree) get the stink-eye when I stroll on down to the market to buy noms. But I'm going to stop ranting now, and applaud you again for your obvious maturity, Banja.

Grr. Grrr. (I'm typing this during naptime, by the way.) Grrrrr, stupid people. Grrrrr.

Fluffernutter

@Legal Minion, gosh, I know that feeling. I'm ridiculously lucky that my little man has a wonderful temperament, not colicky, and sleeps through the night- but sometimes when it's 5:30-6:30 in the morning and he's all HELLO WORLD PLAY WITH ME and I'm still exhausted from finishing other chores/work after he goes to sleep, I'm guilty of the ol' calm soothing tone "baby, mommy needs her coffee and to pee REALLY BAD before she plays with you so you're going to have to lay in your playpen with your stuffed dalek and stuffed octopus and maybe you'll cry for 5-10 min and I'm sorry, but I need to take care of my bodily functions so I can wipe your tiny slavedriver ass!"

Makes me feel SO BAD when you hear those "WAAAAAAAAAA" noises and can't be there IMMEDIATELY, but sometimes taking a few minutes to make sure you're 100% there before giving them your 100% attention is the best thing. Parenting is SO TOUGH, especially when you're doing it right. :]

banja

Fluffernutter, thank you for your kind words! I've actually taken some child development courses in college (and now some adolescent development ones as well!), but even without those I still don't understand why people think that screaming at a child will make it stop crying. *shakes head*

Karebear

I became a mom at the age of 19. Heaven knows I wasn't ready, but once I saw the little + sign...old Karebear out, Mommy mode Karebear in. I watched my step sister pawn off her kid every weekend to basically anyone just so she could drink and get hide. I told myself I wouldn't be like that, and can honestly say I have had less than 3 "drunk nights with the girls" in the last 5 years.

I have two children now. I too have told them to shut up, but basically under the lack of sleep phase. I would never tell them that if I were fully together, and NEVER in public. Nor would I swear at them. Having a 1 year old say shit to you is mind boggling.

NC Tony

Those are the kind of parents you hope Karma is watching and makes a notation in their little book of "You'll get yours" and years from now, when those kids are adults, they drop their parents off at the old folks home, and visit them once or twice a year.

Yes, sometimes kids are annoying, but babies don't do it on purpose, they can't exactly say (think in a Stewie Griffin voice here) "Pardon me, mommy and daddy, but I seem to have pooped myself. I would greatly appreciate it if one of you would change me. After that I would like my binky and my teddy bear, and I will retire to my crib for a nap. When I awaken, I should like something to drink, as I don't have teeth yet and cannot eat. Thank you."

Legal Minion

Not if I was completely lucid, no. I adore my little lady and for the most part she's got a great temperament. She's almost always in a good mood and smiling/laughing.

Terry Everton

You know, in our society you need a license for everything from driving a car to pulling a fish from a lake to marrying a call girl in Vegas. But any fucktard with a hard on can procreate willy-nilly at his discretion, or lack thereof.

I say it's high time we gave serious consideration to parental licensure.

A licensing process for parents would demonstrate that our society values competent parenting. It would implement the rhetoric that children have a civil right to competent parenting. It would accord parenthood the status of a privilege rather than a biological right. It would elevate child-rearing from the realm of impulse, accident, and ulterior motives by according parenthood the dignity and legitimacy it deserves. It would encourage people to become more responsible in their sexual behavior and in child-rearing.

A parent license would validate parental rights and focus public policies on supporting competent parenting and on remedying or replacing incompetent parenting. It would hold parents responsible for being competent rather than forcing children to endure incompetent parenting until they show publicly recognized signs of damage. The responsibility would fall on parents to demonstrate their competence before a child is damaged rather than on the state to prove unfitness after a child has been damaged, as is the case now. Parents indeed would bear the responsibility for rearing their children. Then there would be little need for governmental interventions.

Parent licensing would not attempt to distinguish between "good" and "less good" parenting or to prescribe parenting styles. It would exclude only those who are obviously unqualified. It would not be a birth control measure, although it probably would influence procreation by conveying the message that society holds expectations for child-rearing.

LaserSpawn

it breaks my heart when people act like this with their very young children. i have no kids of my own, but even if i did, i would NEVER act like that with them. some people just need to be sterilized with an unsanitary melon baller, no anesthetic, in the back alley of the dirtiest city in america, by a self-proclaimed "doctor".

damn, im bad. >:D

Queer Geek

I see think that home economics should include a parenting class. Start the Hellspawns early so they know that sex leads to pregnancy which leads to being a teen parent which leads to screaming baby.

Basically, my nephew is like the screaming kid you just witnessed (though I think he needs to be diagnosed with special needs but that's just me)and his parents, my immature sister and bro-in-law are similar to the parents you described in your post.

After dealing with their parental nonsence for a few years to which my nephew is now four, I think it should be mandatory that every new parent attend a parenting class because obviously what ever method they are using isn't working.

Then again, we can always support abortion and sterilization.

The Last Archimedean

As usual, I'm going to have to support Dogbert's position on the issue:

http://dilbert.com/strips/1992-10-11/

KattyBitch

I love my little accident :) and as a parent you have to remember they aren't out to destroy you at that age (even though it can feel like it.
I'd be saddened to see someone talk to their baby like that...

Skittles

As much as I support the concept of making it necessary to get a license for procreating it is a slippery slope from that to eugenics. Seems to me these folks were raised by parents who made them the center of their world instead of raising them. These two fucksticks are exactly what happens when you teach someone from day one that they are the most important thing in the world. They find it very difficult to adjust to anyone or anything else that takes the attention off of them or takes their time away from them.

Humor_Me

I know you all have heard it before (should I just shut up now?) but I raised 3 kids. I got lucky and the gods smiled on me and all three were sleeping through the night by 2 weeks. Yeah, I was spoiled. That doesn't mean they never cried. Babies will even cry as a form of exercise. So after I checked all of the obvious, cuddled, soothed, swaddled, and walked, if they hadn't calmed down after about 45 minutes, I'd put them back up to bed and go out to the barn for 10 minutes to relieve tension by rubbing horse noses. Usually by the time I got back, they were back to sleep. If not, I'd start the whole process over again.

Parents too stupid to get that babies are too young to understand need to be sterilized before they produce more babies. If their mind is that slow, how are they ever going to keep ahead of a fast-moving toddler?

banja

I unfortunately have nothing more to add on my original post, except that I agree with pretty much everything you all said, and that I am super flattered to see so many comments from the prestigious RHUers ^^

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