I have another golden story from the Dress-For-Less circle of the Malebolge. I was working the oh-so glorious fitting room during the average rush of the afternoon. For anyone who has ever been to one of these delightful establishments, you might realize we have simple rules when trying on clothes. Ours were:1. No more than eight at a time
2. You must have them counted
3. You must bring out the tag the attendant gives to you and the hangers
Easy, right? Of course with the usual intelligence of a pack of lemmings, most of our customers derped all over these rules but this lady took the cake. She comes swirling in, a self-important hipster bitch with the thick frames and walks right past me-into the MENS fitting room.
Being a good little bitch, I call, "Excuse me, mam? That's the men's fitting room. If you wouldn't mind hanging up your clothing I can count you in." Now, she-beast is already huffy but she storms over and throws them on the little metal arm and barks, "It's FOUR".
Me: "I understand, mam, but I have to follow protocol and count them."
Self-Important Bitch: HURF! I THINK I CAN COUNT TO FOUR!
Me: (at this point I am wishing for JTHM style head-explody powers) -.- "Ok, mam. Here is your tag. Please make sure you bring that out with the hangers."
Well, of course she must protest the ridiculous discrimination I am clearly visiting upon her bitchy little severed hymen so when she comes out, she has nothing. Pet peeves stirring, I sigh and say, "Mam, I need you to-".
Self-Important Bitch: THAT'S NOT MY JOB.
She goes storming off and flips me the bird. I wait a bit before calling one of our loss prevention specialists, an ex cop who I shall call Nick.
Me: Nick? Would you be so kind as to tell the women ringing out and complaining that she has violated our rules and has been abusive enough to be banned from the store?
I can hear him grinning and he simply replies, in his darling Bronx accent, "Yeh!" I heard that bitch screaming all the way out and, as pure gravy, her BOYFRIEND comes up to me and apologizes. I flat out told him, "Dude, you need to find someone a little less crazy, dontcha think?" He smiled, nodded and went on his way.
May all your crusty's learn their lessons,