LegendaryOdin Encounters a Crazy Bitch At The Dress For Less

I have another golden story from the Dress-For-Less circle of the Malebolge. I was working the oh-so glorious fitting room during the average rush of the afternoon. For anyone who has ever been to one of these delightful establishments, you might realize we have simple rules when trying on clothes. Ours were:

1. No more than eight at a time
2. You must have them counted
3. You must bring out the tag the attendant gives to you and the hangers

Easy, right? Of course with the usual intelligence of a pack of lemmings, most of our customers derped all over these rules but this lady took the cake. She comes swirling in, a self-important hipster bitch with the thick frames and walks right past me-into the MENS fitting room.

Being a good little bitch, I call, "Excuse me, mam? That's the men's fitting room. If you wouldn't mind hanging up your clothing I can count you in." Now, she-beast is already huffy but she storms over and throws them on the little metal arm and barks, "It's FOUR".

Me: "I understand, mam, but I have to follow protocol and count them."

Self-Important Bitch: HURF! I THINK I CAN COUNT TO FOUR!

Me: (at this point I am wishing for JTHM style head-explody powers) -.- "Ok, mam. Here is your tag. Please make sure you bring that out with the hangers."

Well, of course she must protest the ridiculous discrimination I am clearly visiting upon her bitchy little severed hymen so when she comes out, she has nothing. Pet peeves stirring, I sigh and say, "Mam, I need you to-".

Self-Important Bitch: THAT'S NOT MY JOB.

She goes storming off and flips me the bird. I wait a bit before calling one of our loss prevention specialists, an ex cop who I shall call Nick.

Me: Nick? Would you be so kind as to tell the women ringing out and complaining that she has violated our rules and has been abusive enough to be banned from the store?

I can hear him grinning and he simply replies, in his darling Bronx accent, "Yeh!" I heard that bitch screaming all the way out and, as pure gravy, her BOYFRIEND comes up to me and apologizes. I flat out told him, "Dude, you need to find someone a little less crazy, dontcha think?" He smiled, nodded and went on his way.

May all your crusty's learn their lessons,

- LegendaryOdin

Comments

[Bitch Boy]

LOVE the JTHM reference! I have the complete collection (including the Squee comics).

[LegendaryOdin]

@Bitch Boy I got the director's cuts for JTHM and Squee years ago : D I never did read Anything can be Beaten or I feel sick...Anything can be Beaten mostly because there is kittens getting smashed T_T Humans, yes, kittens, nooooo.

[The Last Archimedean]

What a psycho loser bitch. I feel sorry for her boyfriend. She must be really good in bed or he would drop her like a hot potato.

[Kat]

I <3 that store, but I'm so so so sorry that you have to deal with this stuff every time you come into work. I don't get why people have to behave like that. You doing your job makes it better for the rest of us who come into the fitting rooms, especially at that store. You totally rock!

[Skittles]

It sounds pretty awful but if you can actually ban customers that's got to be at least a little ray of sunshine.

[LegendaryOdin]

@ The Last Archimedean, XD You always crack me up so hard. @ Kat, oh, stop it you! You're making me blush! @ Skittles, I actually have no power to ban them. But because she had disobeyed the rules, flipped me off and just generally been a bitch, loss prevention was more than happy to escort her happy ass out. For however bad I was, we had a fifty year old Spanish woman named Leona who was ten times as head-bitey when it came to idiots. Oh, I miss her so <3

[photoslave]

I really miss the store (moved to Michigan where there are no Mess for Less stores), but I do NOT miss the couple months when I worked at one (OK I miss the double discount weekend a little.)

[KattyBitch]

You have to read I Feel Sick! You're life isn't complete till you dooooo.

[Finder Queen]

lol I feel ya for I too work at a dress for less :x
and I HAAAATE it with a passion!
Fitting room is by far the worst since you have people playing "let's make a deal on how many items I can take in there..." and then those who can't understand you can't leave the area too far trying to lure you out to furniture or some other area too far away...

One day I should submit my own woes from here haha

[LegendaryOdin]

@Finder Queen, You should! I am fortunate not to work at the dress for less any longer. I am sure your tales would be jaw-dropping XD

[BB]

I spent a year working at a Mess for Less, and man, does this ever bring back awesome memories. I never did fitting room (I was a returns desk slave. Great fun, let me tell you), but I knew how awful it was--an absolutely stunning amount of crap to put back at the end of the day. You're lucky as hell to have a loss prevention guy and a manager who'd let you kick custys out though--took them getting caught red-handed stealing to get them out of my store. Otherwise, we had to grin and bear it.

[LegendaryOdin]

@ Katty Bitch, Arhlhgls, I knoooowww > < I need to read it. (Still won't read Anything can be Beaten though). @ BB, it wasn't so much that we could kick them out but I sort of had the reputation as being the iron lady of the dress for less. If people threw shit on the floor when I was hanging clothes back up I would ask them kindly not to do that. If kids messed up toys I would politely ask them to please put the toys back. If bitches got in my face, I would usually just perk an eyebrow at them and say, "You are so important that you need to spend your time arguing with a fitting room girl?" Normally, that alone would embaress them enough to stomp off. My managers were all fairly cool people and did a fair share of telling off themselves : )