"Need a little holy supervision? You’re never alone when Jesus is watching you. Is it a miracle or an optical illusion? He won’t tell you what to do, but he will keep his eyes on you at all times. The features of this 7" tall polystone sculpture are carved in negative relief, but if you look at it long enough you’ll see the serene face of Jesus appear in stunning 3-D! Walk around the room and his eyes will follow you."
"The eyes on this Jesus sculpture follow you around the room, but it's not creepy at all because it's just Jesus."
... Excuse me while I wail in terror and flee from this unholy abomination.
Now before you folks get up in arms about my response, LOOK closely at the eyes of this thing. Those pupils are NOT round! And who made this thing anyway? If Jesus looked like that back in the day, I would have said that the picture was taken AFTER he'd been dead for the three days and BEFORE he had risen again. And please, you cannot convince me that you feel like this thing is as benevolent as the real Jesus... You just can't.
If you love Jesus enough to make a product like this, the least you could do is make it look like you TRIED to put your love into it. This is such a piece of crap plastic that the colors are unnatural. He's got two red spots under his eyes... were those supposed to be cheerfully flushed cheeks? They look like unholy, red eyes rising from beneath his flesh. Anatomy, you got it wrong.
And that forehead... do you seriously want to tell me that the Son of God was suffering from a receeding hairline? Or that he tattooed pencil thin eyebrows above his eyes?
Look, I'm not religious so maybe I'm going to hell for my hatred and loathing of this product, but I simply cannot convince myself that this... thing... was made by ANYONE who truly loves Jesus. It looks like a cheap plastic knockoff that someone spat out for a quick buck.
"Hurr hurr hurr, it looks liek Jesus, this goood ideeea. Paychecks makes me belief in Gawd!"
May all your customers be nice,