Now I am horrified by the habit people have of chewing gum and leaving it somewhere. We've all had our experiences with that. That's bad enough.
No, this is an oral fixation of epic porportions. People chew on pens or pencils. And YIKES when it happens at the registers. People stick the cap in their mouth, pull it off the end of the pen, sign their name, recap it and then abandon the spit covered pen at my register.... EW! EW EW EW EW EW EWWWW!
Think about that! You and how many other people have put their germ laden mouthes on that pen to do the exact thing you just did!? And then you wonder how the fuck you came down with bronchitis, pneumonia and whooping cough, the flu, and tuberculosis all at the same time!
Add to this the oral fixation people have to things that should not go into your mouth. I get that chewing gum can be a habit, or even an addiction to some degree. But don't put inedible shit in your mouth just to have something there! I have seen people buy gummy lifesavers, snip off the end of that cheap ass plastic tray, pop in their mouth and then walk around gnawing on it. If they swallowed it, I could at least assume they were afflicted with the eating disorder Pica or something, but no.
I've sat in class with someone who had something hard and plastic in their mouth, which they constantly played with. They open their mouth, move it around with their tongue and share the rattling, clattering sound of inorganic material clanking against their teeth. Here is a list of things I have seen/experienced:
- waxy gum wrapper (wouldn't the gum taste better?)
- plastic trays from gummy lifesavers (this was proudly pulled out and shown to me in tooth marked, spit covered glory before they popped it back in)
- plastic tag holders (the ones they punch through clothes to hold the price tag)
- twisty ties (do you know what that was holding together or exposed to?)
- computer keyboard key (WTF REALLY?!)
- button off a shirt (fuck lady you're 20 years old!)
- cherry stems (because tying it in a knot with your tongue wasn't classy enough, you would chew on it for hours afterward too?)
- toilet paper (SERIOUSLY? I mean, I'm praying to God that you didn't use it first, but... really?)
- feather (Jesus Tapdancing Christ that could NOT be sterile)
- bottle cap
For the love of God just stick to Mentos or sugarless gum! Altoids! SOMETHING more apropriate!
May all your customers be nice,