Phone Hell: Karebear's Custy Attempts To Get Family History

Howdy folks! 

So as I have said before, I work in the security type dealio area. Not really, I just answer phones and make appointments, buuuut I deal with the snotty folks who think they are the Earth's answer to everything. Since we deal with higher end security coverage, some of the people who call us are major name droppers. 

Caller: Do you know who I am?!

Me: Um...Mr. Snootypants.

Caller: I'm the major's wife's brother's wife's second cousin! 

Me: *in my head* Dafuq...

However, today...roles kind of got switched a little bit. 

A client called into the office to say she was being held up in traffic and would be a little late for her meeting with Tank. She's some art director at a gallery in a town my grandparent's just so happened to live in. My grandmother was a locally famous artist and my grandfather was a huge donator to just about every charity in the area. Let's face it, my grandparents were stinking rich. 

While answering this lady's call, for some ungodly reason I said my last name. It was 5 hours into my shift, I was tired after being up half the night with a teething baby. I was on autopilot. After she states the reason of her calling and before I had the chance to say "Thank you, I'll let Tank know" we had this little convo.

Her: Wait, why does [last name] sound familar? Any relation to [grandparent's first names]?

Me: Uh...yeah, they were my grandparents. 

Her: Oh my gosh!! How is your grandmother?! I haven't talked to her in ages! Is she still making masterpieces?

Me: Um...she passed away when I was 3 or 4 years old. (Note: I'm 25 now, so this was 20 years ago!)

Her: Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! How inappropriate of me....how did she go?

Extremely uncomfortable at this point in time...

Me: She had cancer most of her life....

Her: Oh gosh. I didn't know. Well what about your grandfather? I haven't seen a check from him in a long time. 

In my head I am thinking, you greedy bitch. 

But, I say: He died when I was a junior in high school, so about 2004. 

At this point, Tank and the other office lady are giving me weird looks. I just shrugged to them.

Her: Wow...yikes. I am very out of the loop, aren't I? (No shit lady.) Well, what about your father? Surely he is still alive! You know, he was my first love. I was actually pregnant because of him! But I miscarried and we ended it shortly after that. So, how is he?! 

Me: *sigh* I haven't spoken to him in nearly 6 years now. I couldn't tell you if he were dead or alive, but I haven't heard anything from other family members, so I am assuming he is still alive...

Her: Well, aren't you a barrel of fucking sunshine! Just tell Tank I will be there in about 20 minutes; traffic is clearing up now. 

Me: Will do.

I told Tank about the reason she was calling and then filled him in on the other half of the convo he didn't hear. When the lady arrived, I hid in the backroom/breakroom because she had already upset me enough. I mean, it's always nice to be reminded of my estranged father and ever loving grandparents who I can't talk to anymore. And when she left I pretended to be busy on the phone so I wouldn't have to look or deal with her. 

People these days. Ugh!

--Karebear

 

 

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

[sends beams of positive energy and big ol' hugs to Karebear]

Wow. Sorry that happened.

I don't want to pour gasoline on a fire, KB, but is there some way you could reconcile with your father? After all, you've now supplied him with grandchildren.

Hope I didn't make things worse by suggesting it...

Anyway, we RHUers are with you. Seems like you're way overdue for a large run of happiness.

[lamer]

You can't help who your family is. In the future, just say no.

And the NERVE of some women!!!! How dare she even mention that she was pregnant by someone else. If any woman told me that, I'd tell them, ” well I'm glad I don't have any other siblings I don't care about.” What was she hoping to gain by telling you that?!?!

Especially because I'm my mom's girl, any thing I perceive as a slight against her, I take personally. So when some bitch insulted my mom directly at my dad's retirement, I interrupted her speech...

[Karebear]

@TLA: I have seriously thought about getting in contact with him again, but I'm pretty timid person and my dad is a pretty loud, raging man. He has a temper that can blow up at any given time, and frankly he scares the ever living crap out of me. I don't know how to go about takling to him considering his last words to me were "I don't want to be your father anymore." I feel like he should make the first contact just because of that statement. Maybe sometime in the futher I will gain some guts and go through with contacting him.

And no, don't feel as though you have offended me. Usually Ihave no problem explaining why and how and whatever, but with the woman it just felt...odd.

[Antonmommy]

@karebear i would not blame you for not letting your own dad see your kids as you said he has a raging temper and he scares you. I am so glad my dad doesn't do that me. Do not worry maybe some day your dad will reflect on his behavior and maybe call you and make amends but in the mean time if he doesn't guess what it is his loss and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

[The Last Archimedean]

Wow. I can't imagine me EVER saying something like "I don't want to be your father anymore" to either of my boys, no matter what they do. I am SO sorry. [beams more positive energy and more hugs to KareBear]

Maybe you could find out through intermediaries if he's willing to apologize for the sake of at least meeting his grandkids.

[Karebear]

I do send him pictures through my stepbrother. Whether he looks at them or not is not to my knowledge. I figure if either of my kids would like to meet him, plus their father, later on in life, I won't stop them. But I would like them to at least understand that some people are not always like mommy or grandma or grandma (my mother's husband).

[Karebear]

Should have said grandma or grandpa (mother's husband). Fingers and brain aren't always connected.

[Cabelcb]

When I was about 8 or 9, my parents got divorced. They were able to reconciled and they remarried each other. My family doesn't talk about that time and I mostly forget that year my parents weren't together. I met a woman who knew my mother during that time and she started to ask questions that I thought were very personal and invasive about the time my parents were a part. I don't talk about that time and I mostly forget it ever happened. It made me very uncomfortable because that was a very rough time. I can understand why you got so uncomfortable talking to that woman.

[The Last Archimedean]

Maybe it's just because I can't possibly understand the mentality of someone who would actually say "I don't want to be your father anymore" to his daughter. Or maybe it's because I just can't imagine a man not wanting to see his grandchildren [my kids spend every other weekend with my father, and I think it's the only thing that makes him truly happy.]

But I am still holding out hope that perhaps your father has changed [it has, after all, been six years] and is willing to humble himself and welcome you and your children into his life with open arms and a calm, loving temperment. I realize that normally Hollywood endings ONLY happen in Hollywood but I will keep sending you and your kids positive thoughts.

[Kiddo]

How ignorant and insensitive can some people get? Kare, that woman severely owes you an apology and a lesson in minding her own business. She probably just wanted to gossip and became upset when you wouldn't indulge her.

If it helps any, I believe that a person can choose their family as well as their friends. If you don't want to interact with a destructive person of any sort, then you don't have to, blood relation or not.

[WMDKitty]

Oh my Ceiling Cat, that's... really awkward.

Sendin' yu beemz an' internet-hugs.

[candieaddict]

I apologize if this comes across the wrong way, but why did you even tell her all of that? I mean, if her asking at first about your grandfolks upset you, you should/could have told her to drop it, or said you answered her question/comment and hung up.

Yes it's rude of her, but I don't think it should have gone so far.

[perky]

Whenever I have to go down to the small town I grow up in, and someone says, "Hey, aren't you that kid? How's your parents?"
I give them a blank look and tell them I have no idea what they are talking about.

[Karebear]

I realize now that I should have just ended the call, but when I was caught in it, my mind wasn't working properly. Plus I was at work and didn't want to come across as rude and snotty, I don't want to be the reason that Tank loses a client. I have been told I am too nice for my own good.

@TLA: I can't really imagine a parent saying that either. I can't picture myself telling either of my kids that I wouldn't want to be their mother, even if they end up killing someone. (Though, really hoping that doesn't happen and teaching them violence is not the key.) My mother, their grandmother, is very involved in their life and they go to her house many days of the week. And she spoils them rotten with shiny new toys.

[lamer]

I've been disowned by my father. I was about twelve. Around 17, we started taking again. I moved in with him for two years until he kicked me out and I was homeless (he said I wasn't there enough). 5 years later he became a good father when I had my kid and almost lost my life.

My dad became the dad I wish he'd been most of my life. And my dad was the verbally and physically abusive type. Now, I occasionally put him in check when I think he's being a jerk, but he's so invested in my kid, he doesn't want to risk upsetting me. After 20+ years of being the black sheep, the unwanted one (dad's mom asked my mom to have an abortion), I'm actually the favorite.

[Aristel Phone Solutions]

How can I get a copy of the Client inquiry form you referenced? Also thank you for the great information.