wait for it...
LAST EVER shift at Bakery Hell.
Handed in my notice a month or so back, as now it's time to be a broke-ass unemployed student on the other side of the country. Somehow with a good 50 locations in my new city, I still haven't managed to get a transfer.
So, looking back on my first year as a retail slave, there's only a few things that stick in my mind.
Firstly, a list of just plain STUPID things that I'm quite certain I heard every single shift.
"I want a chocolate cookie."
"No, a CHOCOLATE one."
We sell triple chocolate or white chocolate cookies pal, tell me which one you want or I'll pick it for you and shove it in your noisehole.
"I want a doughnut." No shit. Excuse me while I turn on my psychic bakery powers and select one from the 10+ options we have.
Of course,sir. I'll just turn off my psychic powers and replace it with x-ray vision to select your preferred ball of grease.
But for me, this was the kicker.
"I WANT A REFUND, YOU PROMISED ME HOT FOOD! YOU CAN'T ADVERTISE AS SELLING HOT FOOD AND THIS BE LUKEWARM!"
We have never, ever, sold hot food. In fact, we're not allowed to tell you we sell hot food 'cause we don't. We bake it fresh, and leave it to cool naturally. No, I won't heat it up for you, and see you coming back tomorrow bitching about food poisoning. I'd really love to see all these signs supposedly saying that our food is hot, as I've never seen them. If you want a hot pasty, ask me what's the most recent out the oven, or see what's coming and wait a few minutes. But shout at me and I WILL 'accidentally' crush your ham and cheese gloop into the bag or give you the most burnt,cold thing on the tray. Oh, and enjoy your change, because we've 'ran out' of notes so it's all in coins. Have a nice day, and I hope you choke on your boiling hot roll, you asshat.
--Former Bitch To a Bakery