Tank has a story that he would like to share today. However, since he is a very slow typist, and gets easily frustrated with the keyboard, he is telling it to me and I am typing it up. He also isn't the best story teller (even if the events are true) in the world. I caught him telling my son a story to my son about a princess that needed to be saving, but half way through she somehow learned martial arts and the works and saved herself. Very confused son. Sooo I'll try to help him along the way!
So ladies and gents, for your viewing pleasure...er reading pleasure, I present to you...Tank! *cheers*
"So I guess Karebear has dubbed me as Tank here. Honestly, she calls me that in real life too. So, hi, I'm Tank and I have seen my fair share of customer hell.
She tells me I need to give some sort of backstory or ya'll will be lost. So here it is: my parents own their own little diner that my siblings and I have all worked in at one point. My dad's the cook, hell of a cook too, and my mom used to be the main waitress. But nowadays, with a bad hip, she just rings people out. My older sister and her husband tag team the waitressing/waitering part. They hire part time help for the rushes, but it's mostly family helping out when they can. Also, kids ages three and under are allowed to eat there free. (My mom adores small children and babies. Always bugging my siblings and me for grandkids.)
My mother is a short person, maybe 100 pounds. Wet. She can be the nicest person most of the time, but once you piss her off...good Lord I hope you can run. She is also a very religious person (we're all Lutherans), but not the type to shove it down anyone's throat. She reads her Bible in the diner during the slow times and if asked about it, she'll tell ya.
So anyways, my dad called me up because the cash register was acting out, and I'm pretty handy with a hammer and other tools. (HIs words, not mine.) I agreed to come in yesterday (Monday) around 10am. Figured Karebear could hold down the office, and if anything came up Papa could take care of it since he couldn't do much with his foot.
When I got there, there were only two families eating. One was the pastor and his family from my mother's church and the other was a family I never seen before. A mother and two smaller kids. I'd say no younger than five years old. (Same height as Karebear's son at least.) Oh...also, it's a smaller town, so there's only two churches there. It's either go to one of those two, or drive 20+ minutes for a different one.
Working away on the cash register while my mom is talking about who knows what, when the family I don't know comes up to pay. Following takes place:
Customer: My children are 3 years old. (I find it very unlikely, but I guess they could be tall for their ages.)
Small child: Um...mom, we're 5!
At this point, my mom offers to give them half price on their meals cause she values their business and all that. Customer wasn't having it. She claims that she knows the owners of the diner, that she is here all the time, that her kids eat free all the time, and that she is a Christian that goes to the same church that my parents attend. All of this...false. Of course, my mom gets upset as the lady keeps going. (One thing Ma hates is liars!)
My mom doesn't yell, but has that "mom" voice. Gets all serious and business like, and you know you can't mess with her. As kids, my siblings and I knew when that voice appeared that we were in some big dodo.
Mom, with the "mom" voice: "First of all, I am the owner of this diner and I have never seen you in my life. Second, I have never seen you before in my life. Thirdly, if you went to that church why didn't you say hello to the pastor who was sitting not even 10 feet from you?"
Customer looked defeated, paid her bill in full, and left.
Anything for a discount right?"
--Tank (and Karebear too!! <3)