Retail Balls Award: Discount Rat Gets Told

Hi RHU guys and gals!

Tank has a story that he would like to share today. However, since he is a very slow typist, and gets easily frustrated with the keyboard, he is telling it to me and I am typing it up. He also isn't the best story teller (even if the events are true) in the world. I caught him telling my son a story to my son about a princess that needed to be saving, but half way through she somehow learned martial arts and the works and saved herself. Very confused son. Sooo I'll try to help him along the way!

So ladies and gents, for your viewing pleasure...er reading pleasure, I present to you...Tank! *cheers*

"So I guess Karebear has dubbed me as Tank here. Honestly, she calls me that in real life too. So, hi, I'm Tank and I have seen my fair share of customer hell.

She tells me I need to give some sort of backstory or ya'll will be lost. So here it is: my parents own their own little diner that my siblings and I have all worked in at one point. My dad's the cook, hell of a cook too, and my mom used to be the main waitress. But nowadays, with a bad hip, she just rings people out. My older sister and her husband tag team the waitressing/waitering part. They hire part time help for the rushes, but it's mostly family helping out when they can. Also, kids ages three and under are allowed to eat there free. (My mom adores small children and babies. Always bugging my siblings and me for grandkids.)

My mother is a short person, maybe 100 pounds. Wet. She can be the nicest person most of the time, but once you piss her off...good Lord I hope you can run. She is also a very religious person (we're all Lutherans), but not the type to shove it down anyone's throat. She reads her Bible in the diner during the slow times and if asked about it, she'll tell ya.

So anyways, my dad called me up because the cash register was acting out, and I'm pretty handy with a hammer and other tools. (HIs words, not mine.) I agreed to come in yesterday (Monday) around 10am. Figured Karebear could hold down the office, and if anything came up Papa could take care of it since he couldn't do much with his foot.

When I got there, there were only two families eating. One was the pastor and his family from my mother's church and the other was a family I never seen before. A mother and two smaller kids. I'd say no younger than five years old. (Same height as Karebear's son at least.) Oh...also, it's a smaller town, so there's only two churches there. It's either go to one of those two, or drive 20+ minutes for a different one. 

Working away on the cash register while my mom is talking about who knows what, when the family I don't know comes up to pay. Following takes place:

Customer: My children are 3 years old. (I find it very unlikely, but I guess they could be tall for their ages.)

Mom: Oh, ok!

Small child: Um...mom, we're 5!

At this point, my mom offers to give them half price on their meals cause she values their business and all that. Customer wasn't having it. She claims that she knows the owners of the diner, that she is here all the time, that her kids eat free all the time, and that she is a Christian that goes to the same church that my parents attend. All of this...false. Of course, my mom gets upset as the lady keeps going. (One thing Ma hates is liars!)

My mom doesn't yell, but has that "mom" voice. Gets all serious and business like, and you know you can't mess with her. As kids, my siblings and I knew when that voice appeared that we were in some big dodo.

Mom, with the "mom" voice: "First of all, I am the owner of this diner and I have never seen you in my life. Second, I have never seen you before in my life. Thirdly, if you went to that church why didn't you say hello to the pastor who was sitting not even 10 feet from you?"

Customer looked defeated, paid her bill in full, and left.

Anything for a discount right?"

--Tank (and Karebear too!! <3)

 

 

Comments

[TechTiger]

Always funny when they try and pull "I know the owner!" on the owner...

Hi, Tank! :)

[The Last Archimedean]

Hi, Tank! Make sure you give KareBear big hugs, she deserves 'em. And I hope the two of you continue to be a happy couple.

Your mom did a great job of handling it, making the woman look foolish without getting frustrated. Well done to Momma Tank!

[Nomnom]

Hi Tank!! You're such a gem. <3 Please clone yourself and send clone to me. kthx

[Ilia]

HAHAHA! Oh man I wish I had been there. I would have high-fived mom once I finally stopped laughing.

[Tatiana_Silver]

I have had customers like that as well. I have never said I know the owner to get discounts or free stuff. If I know the owner they usually come up to me and say hey and talk and stuff and then if they wanted to give me a discount or whatever they would tell the staff to make note and go from there.
The same thing happened to me, however a bit different situation. My dad owned and operated a roofing and siding business. I was 19 at the time and have been working for my dad (in some manner) since I was old enough to answer the phone and yell for him. I should also point out that my dad is 40 years older then I, my mom was his second marriage. He would ofter get mistaken for my grandfather, which he thought was funny.
This one day I was helping out my dad at a job site and this lady came up to me about how she wanted to get her roof done since her neighbour (the house that we were at) got her roof done and now her looks like crap. I told her once we were on lunch break I would come over and take a look and give her an estimate and we can go from there. That was okay with her no problem.
Later on that day a few hours after I had given her the estimate to look over, she comes back over and tells me that the estimate was too high and she should get a discount on it blah blah blah.
I asked her why she thinks she should get one?

(I should note here that the only people working for my dad is my dad who was 59 at the time, goofy, my dad's assistant & he was pretty goofy hence the name, who was 25 at the time, and myself who was 19 at the time and the only girl.)

Well the lady next door said that she dated the owner a few years back. I said that was impossible. She then stated why. I said because the owner is my dad. She then stated that it must have been my brother acting as my dad then. I told her my brother is 17 and if this happened a few years ago then she was could be put behind bars for sex with a minor and few other charges. She then pointed up to goofy and said that is the guy who told me he was the owner.
I called up to goofy and asked him to come down. And asked him if he ever dated this lady and told her he was the owner of the business. He said no and he has only dated his wife.

So at this point my dad has come off the roof to see what is going on. The lady then points at my dad not knowing who he was, and says she dated him and he told her he was teh owner blah blah blah.
Now My dad has been happily married to my mom at this time for 19yrs and has never and would never cheat on her.
He tells her far as he knows he has never seen her before, he has never dated her and would never say that he would give her a discount on her roof.
She starts yelling and screaming at him and then at goofy and then at me. now my dad and goofy are very protective of me, they know I can handle myself quite well. I have many belts in different martial arts and knife fighting as well, I don't tell anyone that. Now she is calling my dad and goofy assholes and the whole nine yards, which they were just letting it roll off their backs. Then she started calling me a bitch and c*** ( i hate theat word) goofy and my dad who are very mellow guys told her to leave or else they would be calling the cops on her for harassment.
She then took 2 steps back and then faced me and yelled your dad did cheat on your mom with me and he liked it and he lied to everyone!
goofy held back my dad and i walked very calmly up to her and got about 2cm away from her and said 'you better walk away now or else the cops will be called and you will be getting your ass arrested' and walked away.
She then came running up to me and smacked my face and gave me a look like f-u bitch. I looked at my dad and he nodded. I took her down to the ground without punching her (huge restraint on my end) and waited while my dad called teh cops on my cell phone.
She was arrested and fined and some jail time as well since she was on parole.
We got about 15 more jobs from the cops because they have been keeping an eye on her but couldn't do anything until she did something. Why were the cops watching her... they knew she lied on the stand about some stuff but couldn't prove it and couldn't bring her in for nothing.

[NC Tony]

Hi Tank, take good care of Karebear! And tell your mother she's awesome for that.

[trekkiebabe]

I've gotten that before during my last job, nice thing was there was usually more than one manager hanging around the front so I'd just call whoever they claimed to know. That way, if they did know the person, I had the proof and if they didn't, they were busted.

[CashierBtch]

Had a lady try that. Said she knew someone who hadn't been the store director in over a year. But obviously she didn't know that. Hate when they pull that crap.

Tank, your mom is my hero!

[Mollywobbles]

Hi Tank! Good to hear from you. I would tell you to take care of Karebear, but you seem like the kind of guy who doesn't need to be told to take care of a lady =3 Tell your mom she rocks! That Mom Voice is not something to be trifled with!

[WMDKitty]

I can see where Tank gets it, now. May you and your family walk on warm sands.

[womens retail slave]

I friggin hate that "i know the manager/owner" Our revolving door of bad managers has lead me to some colorful answers when people tell me that..

"oh i get a discount from xxx manager, i know her." to which I reply "oh xxx she's in jail for petty theft, i'll let her know you stopped in"

"i know xxx we are best friends, she gave me a discount last month" to which i reply "best friends? she was fired 2 years ago"

good story!

[The Worst]

Nice to meet you Tank! I've heard wonderful things about you. =) You are blessed to have some really cool women in your life... and no wonder, because you sound like a very cool guy!

[Fortune Cookie]

Great job on your first story! Woohoo! *throws confetti* Also, when you're cloning yourself, make some more copies, I'd like one as well.