Retail Balls: Crazy Restaurant Custy Goes Into a Rage Over a Penn State T-shirt and Gets Told By Waitress

Oh, loves, it's your Friendly Neighborhood Dev with a story!

I've mention in the past that I take care of my Mom. There's more to that story, but it's relevant so I'll make it brief:

My mom got sick about 4 years ago, and then someone my brother pissed off lit her car on fire. With one car between us and her illnesses getting worse, I had to make a decision. I made the decision to stop working and take care of her full time. The only stipulation on this was that I was supposed to go back to school, so I did. I'm not ashamed of who am I or where I go, and where I go to relevant: I go to the Pennsylvania State University. As in Penn State. You know, the school with the whole football scandal that just ended with the pedo behind bars... I go to the main campus, where the entire Scandal took place at the beginning of my Freshman Year.

Now, I still have the Lion Pride, and I had nothing to do with the idiots that rioted the night Joe Paterno was fired (though the kid that was held financially responsible for overturning the news van was in one of my classes, but at any rate.) So, I wear my PSU t-shirts regularly. The students did nothing wrong, so I feel no shame. Penn State is still a high ranking school, and the fact that I was able to be accepted with how weird my high school transcripts must've looked makes me proud.

This is BEFORE the Guilty Verdict, by the way. Just a day or two before, so the Sandusky trial is still going on:

I was traveling, and as most sane people do, I dress comfortably. Now, I'm in a PSU t-shirt and a pair of jeans. My friends and I decide to stop at a restaurant. The hostess seats us and all seems well. Our waitress gets our drinks and our appetizer orders, and is just kick ass. My friends and I are talking and having fun, and that's when it starts. This Crotchety Old Dinosaur is boring holes into my skull as she's being seated. Kick-Ass Waitress gets her drinks, but Crotchety hasn't taken her eyes off of me the entire time. Time starts ticking slower, and the atmosphere is becoming less enjoyable, when this finally comes to a head. Crotchety stomps over and starts SHRIEKING at me:

Crotchety Dinosaur: How DARE you wear that?

Dev: Pardon me?

Crotchety Dinosaur: That shirt from that University! How dare you wear it?

Dev: Ma'am, I go to Penn State.

Crotchety Dinosaur: Well, you're no good, then! You support a pedophile! I can't believe that Joe Paterno molested all those children! I hope they find him guilty!

Dev: ... Joe Paterno died a few months ago, and didn't molest anyone. It's Jerry Sandusky who is on trial.

Crotchety Dinosaur: I don't care! You still support a pedophile, so that makes you a pedophile! How dare you eat at a place where there are children with that shirt on!

JUST as I was about to lose my cool, Kick-Ass Waitress comes over:

Kick-Ass WaitressKAW: Ma'am, would you please go back to your seat and leave this young woman alone?

Crotchety Dinosaur: No! She's a pedophile!

Kick-Ass Waitress: Ma'am, I highly doubt she's a pedophile.

Crotchety Dinosaur: Make her leave!

Kick-Ass Waitress: Let me go talk to my boss.

Kick-Ass Waitress disappears for a little bit, and I'm actually genuinely afraid. People have threatened to fire Penn State graduates, and we've had a lot of backlash. Crotchety looks at us smugly:

Crotchety Dinosaur: You're going to get thrown out because you're a pedophile.

Kick-Ass Waitress comes back, with Crotchety still standing there, glaring at me, and Kick-Ass Waitress smiles at my friends and I.

Kick-Ass Waitress: We have some seats that just opened up on the patio, if you'll grab your drinks and follow me. (Side note: The patio is full and has a lovely view of the ocean.)

Crotchety Dinosaur: What!? You aren't throwing them out of the restaurant! She's a PEDOPHILE!

She SHOUTS this. During the dinner rush. Patrons turn to look at me, when I see a Big Burly Man in a white shirt walk over to our table. I'm embarrassed. I'm being publicly humiliated because of the University I attend.

Big Burly Man: Ma'am, I'm the owner. Can you please lower your voice? This woman just goes to Penn State, she isn't the one on trial.

Crotchety Dinosaur: I don't care! She's a pedophile and I want her removed from this restaurant at once, or I'll never eat here again!

Big Burly Man: She is being moved to the patio so she doesn't disrupt your meal.
Crotchety Dinosaur: She doesn't belong in this restaurant, she's a PEDOPHILE!

The Kick-Ass Waitress is busy helping us move as this is going on, and Big Burly Man is trying to calm her down. She grabs a glass of water and proceeds to attempt to throw it at me as I move past, but Big Burly Man blocks her and takes it for me.

Big Burly Man: Ma'am, you need to leave.

Crotchety Dinosaur: You're throwing ME out but you are going to let that PENN STATE PEDOPHILE stay here?

Big Burly Man: *very calmly* I graduated from Penn State in 1990. Please leave.

Crotchety Dinosaur: THIS RESTAURANT IS FULL OF PEDOPHILES! *throws the other glass of water (which does hit me) and leaves.*

We still get our patio seats, and I was thankfully not completely soaked. After I dry off in the Ladies' Room, Big Burly Man comes over to us, apologizing profusely. My friends and I assure him it's not his fault, but he insists on comping our meal, which was nice of him. I made him guarantee that it wouldn't be coming out of Kick-Ass Waitress' pay, and he assures me it won't. My friends and I restart our good time (they sent out fresh appetizers and drinks.) When we were leaving, the owner was running the cash and I say to him:

Dev: Did you really graduate Penn State in 1990?

Big Burly Man: Yes, I went to the University Park Campus.

He points behind him where there is a giant wall of photographs. Mostly him and celebrities at his restaurant, but there is a picture of him with none other than Joe Paterno on campus, dead center of the picture wall.

Side Note: We did tip our waitress (she got 50% of what the bill amounted to) and we attempted to give the owner money, but he absolutely refused.

May Your Customers not be Crusties,

<3
--Dev

 

 

 

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

That's just ridiculous. I'm a sports freak and I've been arguing on the ESPN boards for months that you should punish the people who actually did the crime, not the entire PSU community. The students, professors and graduates weren't the ones who knew about it and let it continue to happen.

Joe Paterno is dead. Sandusky is in prison. Spanier, Curley, McQueary and Schultz should have criminal charges brought against them for covering up a crime. Once those four are dealt with, drop it -- it's over.

Too bad McQueary didn't do the right ting -- when he saw what was happening he should have ripped off Sandusky's d*** on the spot and beaten Jerry to death with it. Then he should have called the cops.

Sorry you had to endure that, but hopefully sanity will break out at some point. Of course, there's no guarantee... like the line from the Twilight Zone episode "Death's Head Revisited":

Alfred Becker: "Why did you come back?"

Gunther Lutze: "Ohe misses the Fatherland, Becker. I had hoped that sanity would have returned!"

[The Last Archimedean]

*One* misses the Fatherland. Sorry about the typo.

[CashierBtch]

The entire school shouldn't be punished for what some freak did. Its not their fault. I'm sorry for what that crazy bitch did.

[perky]

I think you should have responded "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

[Nick]

Some people just are a whole lot of stupid.

But wow, I am sorry you had to go through that.

[Karebear]

Wow. That's really messed up. I am so sorry that happened to you. Just because of one person (or however many were really involved - I didn't follow the story very closely) does not mean it makes the entire population of the school the same. That's like saying if a murderer lived in one town, everyone else there supports it or goes around murdering people.

[The Last Archimedean]

Some people don't have a functioning brain. Sounds like your harasser is one of them. Thank Zeus the owner stepped in and put her in her place!

[Bored at the Bookstore]

Wow. Just... wow. I'm sorry you had to endure that scene; Crotchety was definitely out of line in every way possible.

I am a native of Pennsylvania, grew up with that mythos of Paterno-can-do-no-wrong and Penn State Perfection, and all along I have NEVER ever blamed the students of that school for the actions of the criminals who have blackened the university's name. In fact, I have felt all along that the "punishment" doled out to the football team was unfair to the honest young men and women who attend the school. Punish the hell out of those responsible for the crimes, for covering up the crimes, or for simply turning a blind eye... But I don't approve of in the burnt-earth policy that has been employed.

I think it was too much, too late, and mis-aimed. The administrators deserve firing and black-balling for the cover-up; Sandusky is slime (which may be an insult to slime everywhere); Paterno was stupid for simply reporting and not following up (or calling in the law himself); and the fool who saw it happening and did nothing, nothing, should be prosecuted as an accessory after the fact. How could he have walked away from that? How did that poor victimized child feel as a possible rescuer left him to his fate?

Enough. I apologize for the rant.

Back to the core of the tale, which is the mistreatment of Penn State students and alumni by ignorant fools. I am sorry it happened to you. It shouldn't have; you have done nothing wrong and deserve to be left in peace, wearing whatevertheheck you want to wear.

[Dev]

I didn't know what sort of response I'd receive because of where I go when I sent Freeman this story. This is just an example of what I've received, and it is as crazy as people think. I've been told to transfer schools. I've lost friends. I got into an argument with one, about something completely unrelated (Twilight, actually,) and when I said that Edward exhibits all the signs of abuse, she decides to throw Penn State in my face, insinuating I'm stupid.

And I do feel like we're being punished. Do you know how old I was in 2002? I was 15, maybe 16. The rest of the kids were in elementary/middle school. It's ridiculous.

Thanks for the support, guys!

And I should've told her that the word didn't mean what she thought it meant.

[Bored at the Bookstore]

My grandson graduated high school this year. For the Honor Society and the athletes, they announced which college the kid would be attending in the fall, and each was given a polite round of applause. One kid was heading for Penn State. There was a dead silence for a few seconds, before a few brave souls (probably his family) started the clapping. That sort of thing was just so shocking to me... I think I applauded as loudly for him as anyone except my own kin!

[Nobody]

I'm sorry you - or anyone - could be mistreated because of the criminal conduct of others, which was completely unrelated to you and beyond your control. The only thing that would have made this story better is if the crotchety old bitch had been arrested for assault. All the noise she made about criminals, at the same time she was committing a crime herself. Ranting and screaming just paints an idiot sign on her back. As soon as she started throwing things she crossed the line into criminal behavior.

[The Last Archimedean]

Why would anyone think it's ok to tell you to change schools? And losing friends because of where you're going to school? Then they really weren't friends.

[Jami]

I don't get that woman's reasoning. Saying all students at Penn are pedophiles because of one pervert would be like saying all the people in Florida are child killers because of Casey Anthony.

Some humans have no flipping logic.

[Julia]

I get the impression this dreadful woman wants everyone within earshot to think she's a better person for advertising her outrage at the situation, no matter how tenuous (or non-existent) the connection may be. I feel terribly for everyone hurt by association due to the lack of critical thinking skills exemplified by this crazy woman.

[Luci F]

Just had to give some love for Penn State! That's my hometown, and I will never stop loving it.

What a stupid woman. Why is is the dumbest ones are loudest?

[NC Tony]

I agree with what others said about the actions of one not reflecting the actions of everyone. This woman was crazy (and that's putting it lightly), and we can only hope she has no idea how to use a computer so she can't go online and talk about the horrible pedophile from Penn State who got her thrown out of a restaurant that supports and is run by pedophiles. Because you know that's how she looks at it, in her muddled mind she did nothing wrong. It's all your fault and the fault of the owner for going to Penn State. On the other hand, you'll hopefully never see her again.

[LaughingBarista]

Because you go to a prestigious university that just happens to have had a highly publicized case which involved a pedophile, you are automatically a pedophile yourself? Next thing you know, if you even so much as glance at someone you've automatically done the worst thing that they've ever done. If I glance at a man, I'm a whore.

What the fucking fuck? That lady was on crack and I'm glad the owner kicked her out. I would have barred her from the restaurant for life for that kind of behavior.

[Queer Geek]

This bitch needs to have water thrown in her face just for being a stupid moron! The actions of a few employees that work at the school should not reflect on the students or the school itself. Penn State has dealt with the scandal and punished those that were involved. To have this woman blame an entire school and the students who attend it makes no sense whatsover.

[Humor_Me]

That bitch was drowning in fail. It never ceases to amaze me the stupidity of people.

I'm sorry you went through that too. How was it possibly ANYONE else's fault other than the people directly involved? There's no way that the entire student body should be accountable for one person's deviant mind. That would lump in every campus shooter and the student body there through history.

Some people need to stay at home with their cheetos and Maury and stay the fuck away from the real world.

[Nocturnesthesia]

I seriously think I would have been arrested for curbstomping that shining example of humanity. Verbal abuse and random insults normally don't get a rise out of me, but as soon as the word "pedophile" got thrown out there I'd probably have fucking lost it.

[banja]

Dev - thank you for this. Banja is a Penn State student, and while I was never a football fan it warms my heart to hear there's another student who still loves their school. So thank you.

[V]

...There's someone that pissy about a shirt about an institute of higher learning? Were you still in PA? She should GTFO if yes! There's no escaping PSU merch in the entire western part of the state, nevermind where campuses are! She'd probably have blood pressure to stroke levels just walking around town! Wow.
I'm sorry that happened to you!