Retail Contradictions

I'm sure I don't have to tell all you long-term RHUers about how stupid and annoying crustys, managers and co-workers can be, but I've noticed something about all the idiots we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. It doesn't matter if you're on or off the clock. You see these things all the time. I simply call them "Retail Contradictions".

Everyone is obsessed with money, mainly having it... but seem reluctant to spend it. We know this from all the discount rats trying to get discounts they don't deserve ("Hey, this shirt has a string hanging off of it, can I get a discount?" "Hey, this glass has fingerprints on it, can I get a discount?"), NAT's stealing everything that isn't nailed down, lying about food orders ("You didn't give me any cheese on my burger." "That's because you ordered a hamburger, not a cheeseburger."), refusing to pay for anything their hellspawn breaks, fraudulent returns, and of course leaving stuff anywhere when they decide they don't want/can't afford it.

Managers (or more likely corporate) cutting down on hours, meaning there's less staff in the store... then wondering why there are long lines at the registers (because they only scheduled 3 cashiers), why the store looks like a tornado blew through it (because you only scheduled 3 people to run the floor in a store that has 15 departments), and why nothing seems to be getting done. This leads to employees not caring about their jobs and the store looking worse.

Telling you to be on the lookout for NATs... and then turning around and telling you you're not allowed to do anything about it. And Kratos forbid you try and stop the theft, even if you're successful, you'll run the risk of getting written up or (even worse) fired. This leads to employees not caring about theft and letting it happen. This of course leads to the managers (and corporate) wondering why the store is suffering losses from stock shrinkage.

Lazy, useless co-workers either calling out, not showing up at all, or pawning off their hours on other people ("Hey, you wanna work Saturday for me?")... and then wondering why their paychecks are so small. (I have a co-worker who does this all the time, her most frequent question "Are you working [day]? Can you work for me?" She asks this at least once a week.)

This also leads into another contradiction: The co-worker refusing to work for you when you have a legit reason for asking for a day off (anything from a family emergency to plans that were made well in advance and being scheduled to work that day anyway)... and then begging you to work for them when they only want an extra day off, or have a really bitchin' party to go to... and then getting mad when you refuse to cover for them.

Asshole managers who let the above mentioned co-workers get away with murder... while demeaning the hard working slaves who come in early, stay late, or come in on their days off. But if said hard working slave calls out sick for the first time in 5 years, they're suddenly the worst employee ever. This leads to the hard working employees deciding to slack off and start looking for another job and (in some cases, even if they don't have another job lined up) quitting, leaving the store in the hands of their useless co-workers, hoping that with the backbone of the department(s) (or in the case of smaller places, the whole damn store) gone, the managers realize the only hard working employee(s) they had is (are) now gone.

I also have to lump asshole managers into this next entry: Having a clearly defined return policy, explaining said return policy to someone you suspect (or flat out know) is attempting a fraudulent return... and having the asshole manager tell you to do the return anyway, even though it goes against the store policy. They then wonder why the store didn't meet it's sales goal for the day. This also leads the entitled asshole customers to believe they can get anything they want since the managers will override the store policy that the employee was trying to enforce, leading the employees to do whatever it takes to get the manager blamed for ignoring the return policy.

Having parents ignore the actions of their hellspawn... and then getting mad at you for telling their children what to do, when all you were trying to do is prevent the kid from splitting his stupid head open. Or, ignoring their hellspawn, and then suing the store when the the little idiot ends up hurting himself.

Customers who ask you for advice... and then ignore it. Leading slaves to blatantly LIE to the custys, since they know the custy isn't going to do what the slave says/suggests.

Customers who say/do inappropriate things... and then wonder why they get such poor customer service. Or wonder why they get thrown out/banned/arrested if they step too far over the line.

Restaurant customers who insult and/or run their server ragged... and then wonder why their food takes forever to come out, and their drinks are barely ever refilled.

Managers and co-workers who do whatever they can to make your life hell... and then wonder why you never talk to them, never interact with them, never help them (or take too long doing "something else" so that they have to do whatever it was they were hoping to pawn off on you), death glare at them, and treat them like they're something you stepped in.

Customers who come in 5 minutes before you close "just for a minute"... and then wonder why you're rushing them out the door when "just a minute" turns into a half hour.

So as always, I ask for anything I may have forgotten down in the comments.

 

 

Comments

[The Last Archimedean]

When managers treat the workers like theives [bag check and all that] but don't do a thing about actual theives.

I had one retial job where because the manager was such a jerk and demoralized us, a co-worker had his friends come in and rob the place blind with phony returns and split the cash profits. He said he made more in a week doing that than his actual weekly paycheck -- "and the best part is it's tax free."

I found another job very quickly. This was close to 20 years ago, back when you COULD find another job quickly.

[Humor_Me]

Employees that short-change/are lazy/pointless/aggressive/argumentative/a druggie or alcoholic (on the clock)/whatever, but the companies aren't allowed to say anything bad about them to their next job. I see it no different than a kid in school who is passing grades and can't do the work. If you are going to be useless in your next job, don't just keep passing the person around without warning.

[Skittles]

It sounds like a lot of that behaviour stems from the 'self esteem' bullshit that seems to be all the rage recently/a short time ago.

[Bored at the Bookstore]

How about the custy who carefully listens to multiple clear explanations of how the book trade-in system works at the used book store (Short form: the credit given for books brought is usable ONLY on used books, and ONLY for half the total purchase of used books - and is NOT applied toward new books, gift items, toys or candy - the custy does have to pay for the other half their purchase with actual money/charge card/check), nods and TELLS you s/he understands... And then is indignant/insulted/bewildered when asked to hand over the balance due.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but you still owe $2.19, including tax, on this $8 cover-price book."

"WHAT?????? But you have all those books I brought, in to sell... I should get this FREE!"

Funny thing - if we sold every crappy book everybody brought in, the shelves would be bare. Thousands of them haven't sold, yet or ever.

And I can't put up a sign with Robert Heinlein's famous acronym TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch)... Because that's "insulting".

[Bored at the Bookstore]

Apologies for typos above. Some days the fingers just refuse to hit the proper keys...

[ThatManagerBastard]

"Managers (or more likely corporate) cutting down on hours, meaning there's less staff in the store... then wondering why there are long lines at the registers (because they only scheduled 3 cashiers), why the store looks like a tornado blew through it (because you only scheduled 3 people to run the floor in a store that has 15 departments), and why nothing seems to be getting done. This leads to employees not caring about their jobs and the store looking worse."

Boy, I am so glad I don't work at KHell anymore. This paragraph describes exactly how that store was run. I ran the electronics department ( with training that consisted of being handed the keys, told how to unlock the game case, and nothing else) and was responsible for the Beauty and Grocery sections also. During Christmas, no less. Yeah, I hated that place.

[Botulism Sauce]

My favorite is folks who come in two minutes before they have to X (in my case, go to class- i work in a college cafe)and expect to get a cheese burger, fries and a specialty beverage (coffee) in that amount of time. By the way, eating in class is NOT hot.

[Karebear]

I have had alot of customers think that I magically speak their language. Been asked for help in Spanish, German, French, Chinese. Tell them I don't speak X, and they give me a blank stare. Return the blank stare and finally they say to me, "You don't speak X?" Noo...just said that...