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I don't use self checkouts because they're such a pain in the tuchus to use. But the personal space thing, obviously an issue no matter what the situation.

More than once I've been trying to use a vending machine for a drink or a quick snack and had someone stand as close as they could behind me. And honestly, 95% of the time, it's some super skinny chick. (A few times it's been a guy of any size or shape and a couple of times it's been kids who are begging their parents to buy them something.) It's all I can do not to turn around to them and ask them to stop trying to crawl up my butt. However, I figure they'd make a fat joke and it would just escalate from there.

It kind of makes me wish I could fart on command.


Oh, that wasn't a knock to the gals who are naturally skinny, BTW. Just been my personal experience that those are the ones who the majority of the time think it's okay to stand so close to me I can feel them breathing down the back of my neck.

All I want is a bottle of water, lady. It's hot. Back off.


I get that alot too. It seems like that if they stand really close they can "push" you to go faster. So...I do the opposite and take my sweet ass time. I know...bad of me, but damn! I don't wanna be rushed.

Of course 99.9% of the time, I am fighting with the baby to hand over whatever item she has to be rung up quickly. Talk about raging!


I wouldn't do a fat joke, but there are other jokes you can use to make them the uncomfortable one.

"I'm flattered you are interested, but I'm not single."

"usually if a guy gets this close, he's about to kiss me (said by a male it's even better)"

"If you get any closer, they might arrest us for public intercourse."

"Sweety, I know you are proud of your boobs, but try not to scan then until I've finished."

The Worst

@LadyBelle Can I use #3 next time someone crowds me while I'm after my Cherry Coke fix?

Miss Red

Or how about when they get too close, you just stop scanning, turn to face them, and launch into a full-scale conversation? Then, if they eventually say something about you not scanning, you smile and say, "Oh, well, you had gotten so close to me, I thought you wanted to chit-chat! Well, if you'd be so kind as to scootch back a bit and give me room to finish, I'll be happily on my way!"


I love how many of us are on the same page.

The people who do that to me are usually punk ass dudes that think they're tougher than they are.

I usually say something dumb like, "Not sure what you're doing, but you could at least buy me dinner first."

Or I piss them off by smiling at them, then scanning everything SLOWER.


that happens at my register. My card machine is at the start of the counter, so when people go to pay, there is another customer who has already piled their shit on it, then they look at the customer who wants to pay and say "Oh sorry" Like they didn't know the pin pad was there


@derrr, I used to run the self-check registers at Sam's Club...got to whip out pretty much that whenever people wanted to use the machine while I was on my knees changing the spiffy blue receipt paper. Oh, the looks I got...it was priceless.


This isn't such a problem as self-check out as it is at my local 7/11.
Once I had a guy standing behind me, and the swipe pad isn't covered at all so he could easily see my pin number as I typed it in. I felt self-conscious about asking him to step back, so I hit "credit" instead just at the same moment he stepped back on his own. He saw and gave a big annoyed sigh, the fuckwad. Just back up in the first place and it wouldn't be a problem!
And yeah I know someone is going to say he couldn't do anything with it unless he had my card, but I don't think I'm so out of line for just not wanting strangers to see my pin number.

NC Tony

I just give people a "Really?" look, and keep it focused on them. They get uncomfortable and back off.


some days when people are like that i just want to tell them to fuck off. but i usually bite my tongue because i shop at the store i work at. (what can i say? it's the closest grocery store to me)

The Last Archimedean

I simply stop what I'm doing until they back off.


I often use the self serve machines when I go on break at work or after I've finished and several times people have tried to use the machine I'm still using it, usually while I'm trying to pay. *facepalm* I usually just say to them, "That machine over there is free." *points* *silently mouths "fuck away off and die fuckwad"...


I was blessed with super pointy elbows, so if someone gets too close I just throw back my elbow as if I'm trying to scratch my back, and when I've nailed em a good one, I apologise for not seeing them :)


Wait, people are trying to scan their shit while you're bagging/paying? That's incredibly rude. I'll usually put my stuff up on the little counter they have (or the conveyor if the self-checkout in question has one), but I've never seen someone THAT oblivious.


I've never had this problem, because the other custys in my Safeway are by and large too dumb and or lazy to work the self serve aisle. There's never a wait at them, and I can scan, bag, and pay at my own pace without anyone hassling me.


@Michael unfortunatley being too stupid to understand the self scan hasn't stopped anyone at the Safeway that I shop at.


Ahhhhh... the advantage of having a Service Dog. I've finally found one. Since she is trained to work on both sides, I put her on the side between me and the moron behind me. Now all I have to do is give them dirty looks for petting the dog, but I can let my leash out as long as I need to or even put her at a sit at the end of the counter till I'm done. Makes it easy to give me extra space, except for the petting thing.

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